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How would you react? (Aggressive stranger v child scenario)
Comments
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bigmomma051204 wrote: »Oh Marisco. I have always pretty much agreed with you on many subjects but here I am incredibly sorry but I have to disagree with some level of shock!
You are comparing the abuse of an adult to the abuse of a child. Completely different... Having worked in the area of Domestic Abuse AND Safeguarding seperately, I feel can I say with some conviction that an adult nearly ALWAYS has more choice and ability to release themselves from an abusive situation than a child.
And to all of you who are now picking on Jojo - who, from what it sounds like, is a survivor of CHILD ABUSE... you should be ashamed. You are all so high up on your moral ground, that you cannot see that you are now berating the child who you are all so het up about, a few years down the line - I imagine that the little girl on the bus would possibly say much the say as JoJo in years to come about people who try to help, with yes, the best of intentions .... but actually causing more harm than good. Wading in, all gung ho won't help - if you can't simply leave it to the professionals (and yes - call NSPCC etc) in most situations, do nothing! Perhaps JoJo uses very expressive and slightly aggressive language about this topic because it is a highly emotive subject matter for her, given her past.
Many of you who have berated JoJo, should go and sit quietly to think about your hypocrisy.
well with someone wjth as much experience as you say you offer very little in the way of a contribution to the post.
you have read into posters picking on jojo, but nobody as far as im aware is picking on her we are merely using her posts as a direct example of the relevance to the thread. as you say she has suffered this form of abuse and has had the guts to share this with us. and many thanks to jojo for that. the thread op gave us a scenario and asked us as posters, how we would react to a similar, as no two are the same, situation.0 -
start reading the thread again from post 59, understand it yourself and stop trying to persuade jojo to you way of thinking. jojo has made her point very clear and I understand it perfectly, and completely agree with her viewpoint. direct intervention by well meaning busy-bodies is not the approach. and im not having a go at marisco either,when I say that.
keep hounding the authorities till action and better intervention can be achieved by them. please read post 58.
regards:beer:
I'm afraid I don't understand your post.0 -
I have thought long and hard about posting, I have to, I don't want to but this is me....
Jo- Jo is right, I was battered as a child, many times caused by other people, my mum would think that they were undermining her as a mum and would take it out on me when we got home.
I used to behave, I was nervous and shy and good. I hoped if I stayed quiet I would be good and have a non hitting day, if I spoke to someone or they spoke to mum she would punch and kick me probably because of her fear of being ' found out'
People never asked me directly anything they just assumed I was shy, they never helped me or picked up there could be something wrong, I was told to stand behind my mum, if anyone said anything to her about it she would scream abuse , pull me to the ground and attack me.
I never knew where to go for help, was scared of loosing my mum, being out made it worse, when mum hit me so hard once I was told I couldn't go out just incase someone saw.
It is not like adult abuse. My mum was supposed to protect me and love me, other people made her angry and I always suffered more.0 -
well with someone wjth as much experience as you say you offer very little in the way of a contribution to the post.
you have read into posters picking on jojo, but nobody as far as im aware is picking on her we are merely using her posts as a direct example of the relevance to the thread. as you say she has suffered this form of abuse and has had the guts to share this with us. and many thanks to jojo for that. the thread op gave us a scenario and asked us as posters, how we would react to a similar, as no two are the same, situation.
I "offer" little because I recognised very early on that this post would simply go the way that many posts with an emotive subject matter on this forum go. Badly. And with many posters simply ending up arguing, berating and baying like animals.
It hasn't disappointed in that respect, has it.
Oh and I agree with others who are left stumped by your long-winded but often seemingly pointless replies.
And Marisco - I wasn't implying that your abuse didn't occurr, apologies if it came across that way. And yes, abusers are very different... the differences between child abusers and an abuser within a DV relationship are in some ways massive, but in the core respect - exactly the same in that they wish to control another being. And they don't enjoy that control being questioned or relinquished... So somebody from outside the situation commenting and getting involved is only really likely to cause trouble (be it violent or verbal etc) for the abused victim. Unless of course the person becoming involved is going to be able to make a difference, which in the situation described by the OP is unlikely. A call to NSPCC or local Safeguarding board is more productive and helpful in the longterm, although I will be honest - the way things are currently regarding Child Protection thresholds (despite all the media response to serious case reviews) children who in the past may have been subject to a CP plan, are no longer meeting the threshhold guidance and I can state with some level of certainty that in the County in which I work, a child being sworn at in public and a raised hand threat unfortunately would probably NOT warrant much further investigation, unless there was already involvement from agencies with concerns or prevous abuse claims/concerns.
Nobody is dismissing your experience of abuse. In fact, the only person making reference in a negative and somewhat disrespectful way towards someone who has been abused is you with your disparaging comments to JoJo :cool:Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0 -
poltergeist wrote: »I have thought long and hard about posting, I have to, I don't want to but this is me....
Jo- Jo is right, I was battered as a child, many times caused by other people, my mum would think that they were undermining her as a mum and would take it out on me when we got home.
I used to behave, I was nervous and shy and good. I hoped if I stayed quiet I would be good and have a non hitting day, if I spoke to someone or they spoke to mum she would punch and kick me probably because of her fear of being ' found out'
People never asked me directly anything they just assumed I was shy, they never helped me or picked up there could be something wrong, I was told to stand behind my mum, if anyone said anything to her about it she would scream abuse , pull me to the ground and attack me.
I never knew where to go for help, was scared of loosing my mum, being out made it worse, when mum hit me so hard once I was told I couldn't go out just incase someone saw.
It is not like adult abuse. My mum was supposed to protect me and love me, other people made her angry and I always suffered more.
Thank you for sharing :A I hope you eventually received some support for your situation. If not, you can access counselling via various agencies such as NSPCC or your GP. Hope you are now doing okay and I have a lot of respect for you sharing your experiences xxxxxBaldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0 -
bigmomma051204 wrote: »I "offer" little because I recognised very early on that this post would simply go the way that many posts with an emotive subject matter on this forum go. Badly. And with many posters simply ending up arguing, berating and baying like animals.
It hasn't disappointed in that respect, has it.
Oh and I agree with others who are left stumped by your long-winded but often seemingly pointless replies.
so which of my posts did you not find seemingly pointless, just so I can guage your mind set more accurately, or maybe you can get on of the others to help you pick one.
so what are you doing exactly, arguing, berating or baying like a animal.
I offer little but heres a long winded opinion of mine, pot, kettle black comes to mind.
regards:beer:0 -
bigmomma051204 wrote: »You made a direct comparison of her abuse (which occured when she was a child) and your abuse (which apparently occured since you have been an adult).
You were quite obviously questioning whether the abuse I suffered actually occurred. Yet you have the gall to say that I have been disrespectful and made disparaging remarks to someone who has suffered abuse. There is nothing worse than to raise doubts that someone has been a victim of abuse. With all the experience you claim to have you should be well aware of that.The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.0 -
You were quite obviously questioning whether the abuse I suffered actually occurred. Yet you have the gall to say that I have been disrespectful and made disparaging remarks to someone who has suffered abuse. There is nothing worse than to raise doubts that someone has been a victim of abuse. With all the experience you claim to have you should be well aware of that.
I read it as her saying she wasn't sure if your abuse had occurred when you were an adult, ( therefore, it was different from Jojo) not that she was questioning whether the abuse had occurred at all.
Sorry marisco, but this subject seems to have made you lose your usual objectivity and comprehension of posts. Have you re read my posts because I really wasn't saying what you thought I was.0 -
Sorry marisco, but this subject seems to have made you lose your usual objectivity and comprehension of posts. Have you re read my posts because I really wasn't saying what you thought I was.
I have no intention of re-reading the posts of someone who considers me to be blinkered, and to have lost objectivity and the ability to comprehend what I read. Assumptions made by you just because I do not share your point of view.The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.0
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