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How would you react? (Aggressive stranger v child scenario)
Comments
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that's it throw cartoons at me, that may help a debate at hollywood cartoon town, and a 5 year old would be really impressed. but not me as im more than 5. next time ill report you to chief wigham or deputy dog
Are you on drugs? :wall:Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0 -
Is he still on here :rotfl:
Skitler I think you need to take a wee break. Your posts are becoming less and less coherent and you seem to be just picking a fight with people for the sake of it.0 -
bigmomma051204 wrote: »with many posters simply ending up arguing, berating and baying like animals.
Going by a number of things you have said to others in your posts you have clearly decided to join in with the above. Way to go :TIf I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants ~ Isaac Newton0 -
bigmomma051204 wrote: »Are you on drugs? :wall:
yes :rotfl:0 -
**professor~yaffle** wrote: »Is he still on here :rotfl:
Skitler I think you need to take a wee break. Your posts are becoming less and less coherent and you seem to be just picking a fight with people for the sake of it.
yes im still here and wont be shooed of by you or any one, my post 109 was not coherent eh, as that was the last one and you stated less and less. so without changing the subject p-y. please describe why it isn't coherent. and well see who is picking for the sake of it.
regards:beer:0 -
Well that escalated quickly....0
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Just as an afterthought, I would like to mention that, most likely as a result of what I had experienced as a kid, as an adult I also found myself on the receiving end of violence. And why it took so long to break the cycle was because, until DD2's father chased after her whilst undoing his belt (she was about 3 at the time), it never, ever seemed as bad as what happened daily as a kid.
As it happens, that day was the day I got the biggest pasting of my life, because I launched after him, put myself between him and her and called him every name under the sun, cast aspersions upon his sexual interests, insulted everything about him that I possibly could.
I remember the glass shattering over me as he slammed the door repeatedly into my ribs as I crouched in the doorway. I remember my peripheral vision going dark and my feet dangling as he held me up by the throat. And I remember looking him right in the eyes and hissing 'come on then'. Then he dropped me and left.
What had happened that day? Somebody had told him at work that he shouldn't make rude jokes about me because they were inappropriate for the workplace. Calmly, non confrontationally.
He never scared me in the way my mother did. She can give me a look even now that I know means I'm in big trouble once there's nobody else around. As I found out a couple of years ago when she attacked me again. And was furious that I only saw her after that with my sister/BIL around, demanding to know if I'd said anything to them. I haven't seen her since and would never have her in my home - but my ex, I have to deal with him occasionally. And it's not a thing. He just doesn't have the same power over me that a parent does.
But I put up with it for so long not because I didn't know it was wrong, but because I knew that there would be payback if I didn't do it right first time. And my knowledge of payback was gained from the consequences of the well meaning but totally ineffectual people wading in when I was a child.
All abuse is wrong. If I hear it going on around me, I want to do something about it; I have the desire to face up to the bullies too. But I know the consequences of a pointless moral stand could be far, far worse. So if I can report it, I will.
As a tutor, it's outside my professional boundaries to intervene personally; it's my responsibility to refer onwards for somebody with appropriate authority and expertise to handle, rather than potentially make things worse.
I am fully aware of the potential consequences of my actions.
I don't have to like it that I can't save everybody. But at least I can be sure that I won't make it worse with a pointless intervention.I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll0 -
many thanks jojo, for your post. im happy that your situation has improved and hope that it continues to be so.
and may we all spare a thought for those that it hasn't.0 -
Crikey, you lot are a bickery bunch!
JoJo thank you for that post...it's nice to see people come through the other side.
Turning to the OPs original point, i can completely sympathise with why she wouldn't want to intervene at the time. Regardless of the manner you do it in, I don't see how it would help - it is likely that she will just regard you as an old fashioned, interfering busy body and feel like the child has made a fool of her by 'behaving badly' in the first place so that she needed to be 'punished'.
Even leaving aside possible repercussions for the child, a lecture from a well-meaning stranger is unlikely to change her whole approach to parenting - chances are the only thing that may come out of it is she might be a bit more careful about berating or threatening the child in public, which may make issues harder to pick up in the future...
That said, I do think the OP should contact NSPCC - it is possible that they have already received information about potential abuse to a little girl called Leanne in the area or she is already in the system.
Swearing at kids and talking to them like dirt is one of my pet hates but sadly it seems to be all too prevalent....no wonder some kids don't talk to adults with respect if that's the way they are used to being talked to.
I also confess to being slightly concerned that, in light of all the recent cases where children have been tragically failed, there will be a lot of over-vigilance and speaking from my own experience as a child, going through the social support system was far more traumatic than the issues that caused me to be involved - of course, on the other hand, if even one life is saved as a result of this then it is worth it. I guess it's always going to be impossible to get a middle ground that ensures children are adequately protected whilst not causing the wholesale destruction that having social services involved in a family can often cause.0
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