We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

How would you react? (Aggressive stranger v child scenario)

168101112

Comments

  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    marisco wrote: »
    He did neither. You paint your experience of abuse as being how it is for everyone. Many abusers are far more subtle in their actions than how you are describing. When people saw my ex being abusive toward me and intervened, it helped me to see that not only did I find his behaviour abhorrent but others did too. Part of me finally finding the courage to leave him was the knowledge that people would believe me and want to help. If they had just turned a blind eye and not reacted in any way I don't think I would have left when I did.

    But you can't know how it will be received and a child doesn't have the luxury of leaving. So, you have to err on the side of caution imo.
  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    poet123 wrote: »
    But you can't know how it will be received and a child doesn't have the luxury of leaving. So, you have to err on the side of caution imo.

    Ignoring a child's plight places it in greater danger in my opinion. If a child realises that what is happening to it is wrong, it is more likely to turn to adults who care for it and ask for help, such as in the school environment. To stand by and do nothing tells a child how they are being treated is acceptable to society. I guess we will all have to agree to disagree on this subject.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    marisco wrote: »
    Ignoring a child's plight places it in greater danger in my opinion. If a child realises that what is happening to it is wrong, it is more likely to turn to adults who care for it and ask for help, such as in the school environment. To stand by and do nothing tells a child how they are being treated is acceptable to society. I guess we will all have to agree to disagree on this subject.

    I think you are in danger of being very blinkered here. Point me to a post where anyone has said the above?
  • skitler
    skitler Posts: 3,065 Forumite
    are you still wittering on, Skiddy Hitler? :rotfl:
    Telling everyone who's correct and who is wrong.

    It's a discussion forum, people are allowed different points of view to your own ;)


    yes pro-fester waffle:rotfl: (that was easily done)i put the rofl on as you seem to put your point across very well with them!! exactly a discussion or debate, not a slanging match between posters. so please let the forum know not just me how you would have handled the situation the op found her/himself in. im looking at post 5 and guessing nothing, well shame on you, shame on you and anybody else that would do nothing, shame on you.
  • marisco wrote: »
    I have experienced abuse too. Most adults who have suffered it are capable of discussion without becoming overly emotional, responding in an over the top irrational way, or of using confrontational language to express an opinion. If someone does that it comes down to their own personal lack of self control and cant be blamed on their experiences.

    Oh Marisco. I have always pretty much agreed with you on many subjects but here I am incredibly sorry but I have to disagree with some level of shock!

    You are comparing the abuse of an adult to the abuse of a child. Completely different... Having worked in the area of Domestic Abuse AND Safeguarding seperately, I feel can I say with some conviction that an adult nearly ALWAYS has more choice and ability to release themselves from an abusive situation than a child.

    And to all of you who are now picking on Jojo - who, from what it sounds like, is a survivor of CHILD ABUSE... you should be ashamed. You are all so high up on your moral ground, that you cannot see that you are now berating the child who you are all so het up about, a few years down the line - I imagine that the little girl on the bus would possibly say much the say as JoJo in years to come about people who try to help, with yes, the best of intentions .... but actually causing more harm than good. Wading in, all gung ho won't help - if you can't simply leave it to the professionals (and yes - call NSPCC etc) in most situations, do nothing! Perhaps JoJo uses very expressive and slightly aggressive language about this topic because it is a highly emotive subject matter for her, given her past.

    Many of you who have berated JoJo, should go and sit quietly to think about your hypocrisy.

    And Professor Yaffle makes some extremely valid points :)
    Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?
  • marisco wrote: »
    You are the only one on this thread doing the above.

    That is incorrect - You are doing the exact same but appear unable to see it.
    Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?
  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    You are comparing the abuse of an adult to the abuse of a child.

    I have not done that at all. JoJo asked for my own personal experience of abuse and I answered her honestly. Not once in that post did I refer to a child.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • marisco wrote: »
    I have not done that at all. JoJo asked for my own personal experience of abuse and I answered her honestly. Not once in that post did I refer to a child.

    You made a direct comparison of her abuse (which occured when she was a child) and your abuse (which apparently occured since you have been an adult).
    Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?
  • skitler
    skitler Posts: 3,065 Forumite
    hawk30 wrote: »
    Not using the exact words 'marching up' means nothing. I would say that this is how Jo Jo read the post, although she would have to be the one to confirm.


    start reading the thread again from post 59, understand it yourself and stop trying to persuade jojo to you way of thinking. jojo has made her point very clear and I understand it perfectly, and completely agree with her viewpoint. direct intervention by well meaning busy-bodies is not the approach. and im not having a go at marisco either,when I say that.
    keep hounding the authorities till action and better intervention can be achieved by them. please read post 58.

    regards:beer:
  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    You made a direct comparison of her abuse (which occured when she was a child) and your abuse (which apparently occured since you have been an adult).

    There is no apparently about it. The abuse did occur.

    I stated that not all abusers behave in the same way. I then went on as asked by jojo to explain how I had suffered abuse.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.5K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.