How would you react? (Aggressive stranger v child scenario)

**professor~yaffle**

are you typing on a phone, skitler?

poet123

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

What are you saying, follow her home? She could ring the law and say she's being followed by someone she doesn't like the look of.

And who's to say she's going home? What if she's going round her (equally sweary and aggressive) boyfriend's house? What if she's going somewhere else? What's Poirot going to do then

Just ring the NSPCC or childline if you think the child is in danger. They can advise on how or if you can take it further.

If you hadn't approached her and you look reasonably normal why would she do that? She would have no idea of your intent. Of course, she may not be going home, but you would have tried to get more info for the report.

mucklebones

I witnessed an incident a few months back, I was in ELC and this mother had told her child that they couldnt have a toy. Well the child whinged and cried as you may expect and I thought nothing of it.

Couple minutes later I could hear this commotion from the car park and this mother was repeatedly smacking her child screaming all crazy about how much embarrassment he had caused her. I was shocked even more so that she went back for a second time for more. People were looking on, I watched but was not sure to get involved directly. Was not afraid of her but she was already in a bad state.

What I done was took her registration number and called the police.

Tough one in your situation, would have probably tried to capture some of the incident on a mobile then taken it to the police. Sometimes confronting a situation is what you really want to do but might turn out to be the worst thing you can do.

skitler

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

are you typing on a phone, skitler?

where do you live 1984:rotfl:

skitler

well said and put.poet123 mucklebones and marisco

it beggers belief what or why some posters put what they do without reading the whole thread.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

marisco wrote: »

What ridiculous assumptions you have jumped to. It only serves to undermine your argument when you stoop to such tactics in order to put your point of view across.

What assumptions?


Bitter experience - all it took was some Dudley Dooright to look at my mother a bit funny on a fairly normal day - and all the fires of Hell would rain down on me once the front door was shut.

I'm sure they would have said they were just trying to explain to 'her sort' (well spoken, reasonably dressed but not adverse to hissing at me that I was crap/fat/stupid/ugly/generally detestable in public or giving me a quick dig) that one simply does not address one's children in that manner - but that made absolutely no difference, as I would know from the moment they marched over with their metaphorical white charger, that this was going to mean a particularly unpleasant time later on in the day.



That's the problem with the hero mentality - people just cannot comprehend that their well intentioned 'education' is going to result in more suffering for the poor little sod stuck in the middle.


So, I'll repeat it - if you haven't got enough information to instigate Safeguarding policies - you're likely to cause more harm than good.

I'm sure that doesn't sound too appealing whilst you're sitting at home polishing your halo, but that's how it is for people being abused; ineffectual 'help' and confrontation hurts them more.

ruby-roo_2

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

What assumptions?

All of these..........

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

That's the problem with the hero mentality

I'm sure that doesn't sound too appealing whilst you're sitting at home polishing your halo

No doubt you would walk away with a warm glow

just made you feel like more of a caped crusader.

your desire to make a parent feel small and insignificant

paulineb_2

A relative of mine was in a supermarket one day and saw a blind child being assaulted by her mum and another relative. She was being slapped around with a stick and dragged around, she must have been about 7. The girl was pleading for help. She went to the social work department where she was made to wait for 30 mins and then was given short shrift, until a neighbour of hers who also works for social work intervened and said that this family were well known to social work, they had moved up from England and she ended up getting an apology from them for being made to feel like she was interfering when actually she was trying to help the child.

I dont agree that if people intervene they will necessarily make things worse in every case because for some kids, how much worse can it get?

And to be honest, if that mum in the first post was having a bad day, it must be a hell of a bad day if the kid looks like shes terrified of the mum.

I would say trust your instincts. If it was just the mum having a really off day then what is the harm in reporting it? On the other hand if the child is being regularly slapped around the place, well, maybe one day someone will intervene and the child will get help and might be thankful someone cared enough to do it.

paulineb_2

Id also like to say that the relative of mine I spoke about works with kids every single day and has done for a very long time and I can totally understand why she felt she had to alert social services. Ive also worked with kids under child protection orders. Some children get abused at home and no one helps them, even if that abuse is well known, you only need to look at the kids who end up dead due to slipping through every safety net there is.

Remember the outcry when that Polish child was starved and beaten to death and social services and other agencies had concerns but no one acted on them?

Well Id rather be someone who tried to assist than turned a blind eye, because you dont know just how badly a child might be suffering at home.

You might help save a childs life, thats the reality.

poet123

paulineb wrote: »

Id also like to say that the relative of mine I spoke about works with kids every single day and has done for a very long time and I can totally understand why she felt she had to alert social services. Ive also worked with kids under child protection orders. Some children get abused at home and no one helps them, even if that abuse is well known, you only need to look at the kids who end up dead due to slipping through every safety net there is.

Remember the outcry when that Polish child was starved and beaten to death and social services and other agencies had concerns but no one acted on them?

Well Id rather be someone who tried to assist than turned a blind eye, because you dont know just how badly a child might be suffering at home.

You might help save a childs life, thats the reality.

I don't think that anyone has said "do nothing" rather consider whether covert, or overt, action is the best course.