How would you react? (Aggressive stranger v child scenario)

skitler

these people need reporting its your legal and moral duty to do so.

anyone that does nothing, shame on you, shame on you.

that's not directly aimed just at the op, but op needs as previously posted report what she saw & heard to childline/nspcc/ crimestoppers ect people can be followed home and reported anonymously obviously not in this case now, but even if you don't want to confront you can watch and follow.

doing nothing should not be a option.

skitler

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

...and then she would have gone home and taken out her rage about you 'having a go at her' on her kid. Which probably meant ten times the walloping they would have had normally.


I always copped it for other people annoying my mother. The kids whose parents you pull up will inevitably reap the consequences of your moral stance.

so what do you suggest doing? doing nothing is not a option.

marisco_2

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

...and then she would have gone home and taken out her rage about you 'having a go at her' on her kid. Which probably meant ten times the walloping they would have had normally.


I always copped it for other people annoying my mother. The kids whose parents you pull up will inevitably reap the consequences of your moral stance.

Where have I said I would 'have a go at her'. I would have asked her to make herself accountable for her actions. There is a massive difference. Is your answer to this situation to turn a blind eye and do nothing? All that would achieve is to send a very clear message to that child, that not one adult could care less how she was being treated. She could end up thinking that no one would stand up for her, or help her to see that what her mum was doing to her is terribly wrong. What if taking that stance instilled in that child, that there was no point in confiding in any adult in the school she attends what she is suffering, as they wouldn't be bothered or want to know?

poet123

"Having a bad day" Really? And under those circumstances it would be ok?
Not to me.

I do agree with JoJo that any intervention would probably have resulted in the child getting more of the same, or worse, behind closed doors.

I also agree that something needs to be done. I would go to the police/SS and give them as many details as possible. Actually, I might have got off the bus followed them home and then made the report.

building_with_lego

Jojo, I'm reall not sure marisco would speak to the parent in an attempt to make them "feel small and insignificant"; rather to try to get them to realise that their behaviour is so damaging.

Tropez

skitler wrote: »

so what do you suggest doing? doing nothing is not a option.

Of course, which is why a complaint to the proper authorities is the best way to handle it. It is difficult if you cannot identify the child in question but the OP would have had the bus number, the time of the incidents in question and the stop at which the mother and her child departed which given the amount of surveillance that exists in the UK is likely enough information to give the authorities enough to get a headstart on what may well be a child protection issue.

Unfortunately, I see Jojo's point. Someone who could be so abusive to a child in public and clearly not give a damn how they're coming across may be even worse behind closed doors. I completely agree that doing nothing is not an option - as a society we should endeavour to protect all vulnerable members regardless of their age - but as we cannot simply take a child away from its mother and to safety ourselves we may have to be careful about how we tackle the issue.

It is disconcerting that we hear of so many failings of child protection but we mustn't allow ourselves to believe that there's no point lodging a complaint with those who are charged with stopping this. The more people who step up and report their concerns the greater the chance is that something will be done. Confronting the woman in public may seem like the optimal course of action, and I'm sure we all wish that it would be, but not exacerbating the situation for the child along with official investigation and (where necessary) intervention is what is really required.

poet123

building_with_lego wrote: »

Jojo, I'm reall not sure marisco would speak to the parent in an attempt to make them "feel small and insignificant"; rather to try to get them to realise that their behaviour is so damaging.

I agree, but whilst the identity of the child is unknown and her fate in her mothers hands it is sometimes wiser to hold your fire. I think many of us would want to wade in and I might have done so myself when the red mist descended seeing and listening to what the OP describes, but it probably would have meant the girl got much worse in private for "showing her up in public". Hard choices.

thehappybutterfly

Oh its a tricky one. I'd like to think that I would say something to the mum but I know in reality I wouldnt. Me and my 16 yo daughter were stood behind a mum, gran and two young kids and i swear the mum was schizo. One second she was sniping and hissing at her kids then the next she was cuddling them. Then one minute later she was hissing again, something about "well Im nit your dad and Im not stacey!". Obviously a broken family and stacey being dad's gf. Even the gran was snippy with the kids, you know "what is wrong with you kids today?!". Then it was back to kisses and cuddles again. I just felt so damn sorry for the littlies. But really, what could I do?

I agree with JoJo Im sad to say. Its similar to a man / woman situation. If someone says something to a man who is being abusive/violent to his wife, you can guarantee she'll get a hiding when they get home. In my experience anyway.

Alchemilla

Verbal agression is still agression. I would report it now if you feel able.
Poor child.

**professor~yaffle**

All these people saying report it, - report what? A woman swearing at her child.

Woman's name? Don't know. Child's name? Don't know. Where do they live? Don't know. Ever seen them before? No. Did she hit the child? No, but she seems that type..

Not much for the authorities to go on really, is there.