Overheard a conversation between Mum and stepdad last night, help

jellyhead

If you negotiate to stay in the house I wonder if it would make a difference if you shifted your stuff out of the garage so it's 'their space' and confined your own stuff to the two bedrooms you're using? That way your mum could shut the bedroom doors on your 'mess' and ignore it in a way she can't ignore it if it's in a shared space.

Also, I agree with having a designated time, perhaps once a week, when you go out so they have 'couple time'.

jc808

Maybe the parents are sick of the house plant always wanting water and dropping leaves on the floor?

fluffnutter

tesuhoha wrote: »

I have a different view. Its so difficult for young people to start off in life today, there are no jobs and its practically impossible to get on the housing ladder. Private renting is expensive and there are no council properties. If my daughter wanted to live with me rent free to save for a house then I would be only too pleased to help out. She is 27 and I have offered her the chance to do this but she is living in a city and is getting a professional qualification paid for by her employer. However, in the future I would help her and any partner to save because I want to see her get a start in life and not have to struggle quite as much (she has already worked hard to get where she is now).

As for making her leave home while still at university, I think that is a very harsh thing.

I agree with all of that. It's incredibly difficult for people trying to start out in life at the moment - house prices, be it renting or buying, are ridiculous. That's not my objection though. There's a world of difference between the scenario you talk about and this thread - if you did need to help out your daughter, presumably she wouldn't be on the internet moaning about you.

balletshoes

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

if I was a parent, you must be joking if I even thought about charging my children rent whatever age they were

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but OP you really need a reality check. If this is your attitude around the home too, like your mum and the world owes you a living, the sooner you get out into the real world and start paying your own way, the better.

I really hope you're not a typical young-20s adult these days.

balletshoes

tesuhoha wrote: »

I have a different view. Its so difficult for young people to start off in life today, there are no jobs and its practically impossible to get on the housing ladder. Private renting is expensive and there are no council properties. If my daughter wanted to live with me rent free to save for a house then I would be only too pleased to help out. She is 27 and I have offered her the chance to do this but she is living in a city and is getting a professional qualification paid for by her employer. However, in the future I would help her and any partner to save because I want to see her get a start in life and not have to struggle quite as much (she has already worked hard to get where she is now).

As for making her leave home while still at university, I think that is a very harsh thing.

I suspect we're getting a very sanitised version of events from the OP, and I'd be really interested in what his mum's take on the situation is.

southoftheriver

OP you are really lucky, I don't think you realise that. I left home at 19/20 to go to uni and in my mum's eyes that was it, I had moved out. She didn't understand how uni worked and expected me to take my whole life with me.

You chose no to pay rent because you want to build up a deposit. But you could pay some housekeeping and if you were renting you'd have to. I completely understand your mum feeling frustrated, and although it isn't a nice thing to hear, can you see it from her point of view at all? You have half the bedrooms and the garage in the house. You have an expectation that because you are her child you are owed something. But maybe you should try and meet her halfway.

And it is hard for young people now. I'd love to move home for a bit so I could save, but I don't have that option.

grey_lady

There has been some very helpful and honest advice on this thread. A young person asked for advice and layed him/herself bare open to everyone's opinions.
.
OP some answers have probably been useful, some harsh, some useless.

Pollycat

grey_lady wrote: »

There has been some very helpful and honest advice on this thread. A young person asked for advice and layed him/herself bare open to everyone's opinions.
.
OP some answers have probably been useful, some harsh, some useless.

Agreed, the OP did lay himself bare - and imho he also displayed some pretty shocking ideas and opinions;

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

Yes, my Mum has OCD with cleaning/tidyness, honestly its a nightmare

Total lack of empathy for his Mum's condition.

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

My idea was the any rent paid to parents from people my age, was given back to them by the parents to help with moving out when they moved out? does this not happen most of the time?

Total lack of understanding of the 'real world'.

lifecanbetough4 wrote: »

so it seems what I feared was true, that parents don't give a sh it about their children once they reach mid twenties

Total 'me, me, me' post.

One poster said this:

I do so hope you're a troll and that real people aren't having to put up with you.

I agree 100%.

AndyPK

Offer to pay more rent.

treeze

Of course Mum wants her own space...because you still live at home you think and act like a child and forget she is an actual human being with her own life to keep going including a relationship she wants to maintain and keep fresh. She's not too old for a sex life you know-why should they do it quietly in their bedroom? What a passion-killer! They might want to do it all over the house and make a racket!:TAt 24 you really should be out of the house,then you'll maybe appreciate your Mum more.