any advice would be lovely :)

lostandalone

thanks pinkshoes (and everyone else).

there's nothing bothering him. I already tried that one last night and again this morning. 'just you' was his reply.

He just needs to be right all of the time and I think he isn't used to me standing up to him. he's the same when we play board games etc... it comical. Our friends always sidestep when he asks if they want to play a game or on the wii etc, because he lectures them all: "no,no, this is how you do it"...etc, etc.

He is a lovely guy and i know that you guys getting the story from me makes him look like an ogre, but really, he's nice.

I'm just tired of him getting annoyed with me if things don't go his way.
he's like a 5 year old. He's 32!!!

I'm not going to back down. If I keep letting him have his own way, he'll never learn that, sorry, life's not like that and you can't save your own way all the time.

He's got a very big personality and you wouldn't believe the things he does to get attention... to be honest, I'm getting fed up with his drama queen ways...

a simple sneeze and it will be loud, with arms in the air and followed by, 'ooo...phew! ooo... ooo... oh my god... ah, ooo! whilst looking at everyone in the room to see if they saw him.
I swear to goodness it's ridiculous and it's getting worse and worse.

It's as if the novelty of the attention I give him has worn off and he's looking for it elsewhere now.

My very best friend once said to me 'geez, how do you cope with him? He's so full on ALL of the time. I'd have punched him by now - or had a nervous breakdown'.

Despite that, he is very funny and caring at times. I'm a normally loud/quiet person. He just seems to be getting worse.

pinkshoes

Sounds like one of my exes!! He was such a lovely guy when it was just the 2 of us, but the second someone else appears that he knows, he HAS to be the centre of attention, always showing off, talking ultra loud, checking who's looking at him. I found it utterly exhausting. I decided a drama queen wasn't for me, although we'd only been dating a month. He's still a good mate though!

No relationship is without its ups and downs, but you just have to work out if the good bits outweigh the bad bits.

The two of you need to sit down and discuss where the relationship is going, what you both want out of it etc... maybe sit in separate rooms and write a list of the 3 things you most like about each other, and the 3 things that most annoy you about each other, then discuss the lists with each other. me and my OH did this, and it worked well. He now cooks more often, and I try harder not to leave trails of mess everywhere! He has less "tantrums" where he gets really mad/stressed about silly things (usually loosing at computer games), and I am not allowed to sulk without telling him why i'm sulking!!

If he's not willing to discuss the relationship, then I guess it's run it's course and it's over.

daisy_doughnut_2

by your description of him are you sure not seeing my ex ex..lol

have a look on google at adictive personality
u may get some answers to the way he is

DD x

lostandalone

thanks DD, I will... I could be... is he a kiwi?

bunty109

I'd be worried about the mobile. To me it sounds like his attachment to it could be that he's needing to be in touch with someone and then I'd wonder who it was.

Of course, he might think you don't trust him, but if that was the case I think most people would outright say to you that they think you don't trust them rather than get all defensive about the phone.

Personally I am not sure I could put up with someone who needs that amount of attention all the time. Could you see yourself with this man's children? Who would be the biggest child and would he resent you for having to mother them and not him? You might not want children, but it's something you have to consider, I guess!!

Good luck!

hev_2

If you are never right, and he picks words out of context and bewilders you so you do not know what to do or say anymore, then get out before he takes the ability to trust yourself completely.

Can you imagine how you will feel after five years of being belittled? After he has undermined everything you have said, how do you think you will be able to stand up for yourself if he has another affair. He will prove it is your fault - and if you are not careful you will believe him!

If you think that he will get over this phase/change, then tell him that his tactics are unacceptable and make an effort to stand up for yourself often enough to make him change his behaviour.

Otherwise, take the painful decision now, rather than building up even worse pain in the future. There are some wonderful men out there (I married one) and you are worth being treated wonderfully.

Hev

daisy_doughnut_2

daisy_doughnut_2 wrote: »

by your description of him are you sure not seeing my ex ex..lol

have a look on google at adictive personality
u may get some answers to the way he is

DD x

hmmm a kiwi
nahh...lol

they could be distantley related tho you know the brother of his great grandfather nephews cousins son:D

outrageous_monkey

((((((((lostandalone))))))))

What a day, eh??

Well, hopefully when he gets home from work you will both be able to sit down and talk about what was said this morning. After everything you have been thru to be with this guy, I bet this was the last thing you were expecting.

I dont know what to say really, because you're obviously still emotionally attached to this guy even tho he does things that pi$$ you off. If you do have the chat and work things out about what he said this morning, then I guess you have to decide if this is how you want to spend the rest of you life with him, cos by the sounds of it, this is how its going to be year in year out.

Come back and let us know how you get on.

GreenNinja

lostandalone,

Have only read your first post so far, but the similarity between your man and my ex husband is uncanny. He was in fact having an affair with a woman from when we first met to when she came round and confronted me about it 12 years later.

He has the same characteristics, funny flirty, seemingly very confident. He also guarded his phone at all times and even turned it over when it was switched on and kept it on silent! We also had power struggles and like your man was only interested in his own point of view.

2 years into our relationship he had an "inappropriate" friendship with a woman, took her out for meals to the pub etc etc but I found out and he ended it. Like you I was sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to do it again. Same thing happened as you are experiencing starting taking the relationship for granted again. I am fairly sure there were others over the years in addition to these 2 that I knew about.

If I was you I would be very careful about this and go with your instincts.

Good luck chick.
XX

nats3006

GreenNinja wrote: »

lostandalone,

Have only read your first post so far, but the similarity between your man and my ex husband is uncanny. He was in fact having an affair with a woman from when we first met to when she came round and confronted me about it 12 years later.

He has the same characteristics, funny flirty, seemingly very confident. He also guarded his phone at all times and even turned it over when it was switched on and kept it on silent! We also had power struggles and like your man was only interested in his own point of view.

2 years into our relationship he had an "inappropriate" friendship with a woman, took her out for meals to the pub etc etc but I found out and he ended it. Like you I was sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to do it again. Same thing happened as you are experiencing starting taking the relationship for granted again. I am fairly sure there were others over the years in addition to these 2 that I knew about.

If I was you I would be very careful about this and go with your instincts.

Good luck chick.
XX

Very interesting post :T :T