The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

catloverbex

Hello all

Room for another one? I know a lot of you from the other thread and I've also been lurking in this thread for a while too

For those that don't know me, hubby and I have been TTC #1 very seriously for 14 natural cycles and not a hint of a tiny little positive. I'm 30 and hubby is 28 (toyboy ) we have done everything that I can think of to conceive: altering diet, losing weight, cutting out caffeine, taking the right supplements, reducing alcohol, legs in the air after BDing etc etc. You name it and we've tried it!

Hubby's sperm analysis has come back fine, as have my initial blood tests. I have a nice relatively regular 26-29 day cycle and "appear" to be ovulating most months on CD16-CD18. I know my LP is a little short but I've googled people conceiving with much shorter ones.

Have my first FS appointment at the hospital on 31st of this month and I'm a little scared/apprehensive about it all

X Bex

codemonkey

Feeling totally the opposite to tea atm. Feel like it will never, ever happen for us. I don't know why but in a moment of madness, and possibly because of a dream I had, I decided to pee on a ic earlier. Negative of course, and now I feel stupid, especially as I didn't monitor my cycle this month and have no idea if we BD'd at the right time, and quite apart from anything else - I'm not actually releasing any stupid eggs.

Waiting for DH's SA to come back and over 3 months after I went to the GP for help, we still don't have a FS appointment - all we got was a stupid questionnaire to return and then told we'd be given an appointment in 12 weeks. I thought they meant our appointment would be in 12 weeks but that just means in 12 weeks they'll give us an appointment that will probably be well into next year. By which time I'll be closer to that "magic" 35 drop off and still not bleedin ovulating. I was hoping in the meantime the GP would give us clomid but they said they wouldn't do anything without DH's SA.

DH is no help. All he has to say on the matter is "if it happens, it happens", which is fine if we're talking about going on holiday or something but not about having kids. He wont talk about it anymore than that. A few weeks ago we were in a shopping centre and he was pointing out cute little outfits in the monsoon kids window and my heart felt like it was going to break. Then yesterday we were shopping and we walked past mothercare and we both made a big point of not looking.

I know this is a stupid rant and most of you have been through way more than me on your journeys to a family but it just feels like its over and I'm just a big failure and its so unfair because the scummy members of my family have all popped out babies like pez dispensers.

:(:(:(

Whattodonow

Hi Code

Didn't want to read and run. I never feel like I'm qualified enough to offer advice but I can offer a big fat virtual HUG.

If It helps I also have my dark moments, as I'm sure we all do. When I think it's never going to happen the feeling that comes over me is grief. BUT - please remember you're not there yet. There may be a time when any of us on here have to accept it's just not going to happen. And if so, then we will deal with that in our own ways. But that time is not now! You still have a journey ahead of you.

But, TBH, your doctor sounds poo. That is a long wait indeed. I hate the way these people don't see the urgency when time is against us. Surely it won't take 12 weeks for the SA to come through? Perhaps you could ring the docs when the results come in and ask for clomid then? At leats you would feel like you were doing something proactive then instead of just hanging around?

BIG BIG BIG Hugs coming from me to you now code xxxxx You rant away whenever you want - this is what were here for. And its not a competition about who has had it worse - we are all struggling in our own way xxx

I hope nothing I've said has made you feel worse or offended. Just wanted you to know we understand and are here for you xxx

Whattodonow

Hi bex!

Welcome! If you do a little summary i'm sure time2deal will be along to add you to the front page if you want?

Good luck with your appointment. Nothing to be nervous about, they've seen it all before. Just remember a notepad in case you want to jot things down afterwards. xxx

codemonkey

Tbh, there's nothing the GP can do about the wait and they did refer us quickly - its been the waiting list for the hospital. Part of the hold up has been waiting for DH to do the 2 SAs a month apart in the first place- and he'll need to go to his GP to discuss the results and he's bleedin useless.

When I mentioned it when I was in the GPs for something else she said that it will just be an initial appointment and it will be a long time before they actually do anything.

I know it's not seen as a priority or anything, but I wish there wasn't so much waiting about to be done. It's hard enough without spending so much time twiddling our thumbs. It's like they reckon if they wait long enough, I'll get pregnant and they wont have to do anything. Joke's on you NHS. I wont and you will!!

By the way did anyone see Hollyoaks just then?!

also I've just tried to thank your post whattodonow and it just logged me out and took me to the main page, so thanks. It helps to get it out and I know you guys get it.

good_vibes

Hi all,
Had a lovely hols and came back to a letter saying FS appointment changed to another weeks time.
Know have you feel code, have had 5 cycles since last appointment and still waiting to move further, plus now another year older.
Will be asking many questions about waiting times and maybe pay for ourselves at this rate.
Moving house this week so will be cut off from internet soon. See you when I get back.

vesper

There's one thing worse than soppy children orientated adverts, it's friends on facebook with those motivation pictures. 'Like if you weren't a woman until you become a mother' , 'Like if life wasn't life until you had a baby' etc etc. The worse culpit for this is actually my hubby's cousin, we became close as we have both had miscarriages and it was nice to talk it out. She's since had a baby, she's now a mum-zilla.

After all this talk of long waiting times for appointments hasn't left me with much hope of having an appointment soon. But worried as the letter will be going to my parents' house, and they have a terrible habit of opening post 'by accident'. It's not really a conversation I want with them yet.

Part_Mouse

Welcome bex, so frustrating waiting ESP when were doing everything right.

Good vibes I hope the move goes well.

Code the lack of ov is a really sucker but your not alone, things can be done for use shy folie grows, we're not out for good yet.

codemonkey

Ugh someone has just posted one of those stupid mom memes about how feeling a life move inside you is the best thing in the world. My initial response was to post a 2 word reply but I thought that might be hostile.

Permission to unfriend?

As we share everything anyway, perhaps we should all be facebook friends and share photos of opks and thermometers and negative pregnancy tests and our flat bellies (not mine sadly) all the blimmin time. If it's ok to overshare the pregnancy stuff maybe we should come out in protest and overshare our fertility treatment. Maybe take a few photos of dildo cam, have our blocked tubes and polycystic ovaries as our profile pics.

vesper

codemonkey wrote: »

As we share everything anyway, perhaps we should all be facebook friends and share photos of opks and thermometers and negative pregnancy tests and our flat bellies (not mine sadly) all the blimmin time. If it's ok to overshare the pregnancy stuff maybe we should come out in protest and overshare our fertility treatment. Maybe take a few photos of dildo cam, have our blocked tubes and polycystic ovaries as our profile pics.

Haha love it, at least we wouldn't get jealous of each other when we conceive. I've never cheered so much ever to hear someone was pregnant as some of the ladies on here and the other ttc thread.
As much ttc !!!!!! as ever required in one place.


But one thing though, I definitely don't have a flat stomach.