The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

MrsSippi

Firstly I hope no one minds me posting this here, I don't mean to offend or upset anyone.

Someone fairly close to me has recently told me that they have had some tests because she hasn't been able to get pregnant. I am quite confused by what she has told me (probably because my knowledge on this is minimal! ) and wondered if anyone might be able to explain it a bit more. She is quite upset sk I don't want to ask too many questions but I do want to understand a bit more.

She has been told that her hormone levels are a lot higher than what is normal, to such an extent that she wouldn't be offered ivf on the nhs as it is highly unlikely to work. She was also told that she has no eggs, and any that she does have dont survive long enough to be fertilised. Basically there is nothing she or anyone else can do and there is no way she can conceive naturally.

Then she said that she has got a few eggs and that she can get her hormone levels up by making changes to her diet.

Don't get me wrong, I feel awful for her but I don't quite understand it at all. I am trying to be supportive but feel I can't really ask her at the moment. Does anyone have any experience of this? I don't want to say the wrong thing.

Peonie

Hi WW, didn't you have the eggs extracted late last week? If so, I would think they have a few more days before one needs to go back in. Get yourself well first. Big hugs.

Derby2

Oh WW I hope you feel better very, very soon. I think Tea had these sorts of problems when her transfer was due and they carried on. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

Derby2

Good luck with your scan today PM.

Part_Mouse

Ww no im experience im afraid but thinking of you and hope your feeling better soon.
Derby thanks.its my 5 th week of injecting.come on follies.

angeltreats

Mrs Sippi I don't know the answer to your question, but just wanted to say you sound like a wonderful friend. I wish more people were as considerate as you instead of offering "useful" advice like "oh just relax and it'll happen" or "think positive".

WW really hoping you recover very quickly.

Derby2

MrsSippi: It's a bit difficult to know for sure what the problems are with your friend, but it sounds like they could be similar to mine. She could have a low AMH which indicates a diminished ovarian reserve (not many eggs) and a high FSH which can be an indicator of menopause.

One of the problems with having a low AMH is that you don't get a very good response to IVF drugs, and so your chances of success are reduced. For example, they usually like to collect something like 8-12 eggs, and I only got three and one was immature. Before the NHS will agree to a cycle, they will probably ask for an antral follicle count which measures the small follicles (which potentially contain eggs) to give an indication of how we'll you'll respond. If they likelihood of success is less than 10% once all the test are done, then they won't fund it.

If the eggs she does have don't survive, then it looks like she may have a quality issue as well.

It's a heck of a shock when you find out something like this, particularly if it is unexpected, and it really is lovely of you to take the time to find out a bit more. When I started trying to conceive many moons ago, I always assumed IVF will be a guaranteed back-up, so to find out that even that option is dodgy was really hard to take.

However, it's not all over for her and there are a lot of other options such as egg donation or adoption. She may not be ready to consider these for a while and they may not be right for her, but there are options.

If she wants to talk to us, we'll help as much as we can. Between us all we must have had just about every problem there is to have...!

Part_Mouse

Just had another scan linings thicked again but no follies incresing the dose again and back on thursday.

MrsSippi

Derby2 wrote: »

MrsSippi: It's a bit difficult to know for sure what the problems are with your friend, but it sounds like they could be similar to mine. She could have a low AMH which indicates a diminished ovarian reserve (not many eggs) and a high FSH which can be an indicator of menopause.

One of the problems with having a low AMH is that you don't get a very good response to IVF drugs, and so your chances of success are reduced. For example, they usually like to collect something like 8-12 eggs, and I only got three and one was immature. Before the NHS will agree to a cycle, they will probably ask for an antral follicle count which measures the small follicles (which potentially contain eggs) to give an indication of how we'll you'll respond. If they likelihood of success is less than 10% once all the test are done, then they won't fund it.

If the eggs she does have don't survive, then it looks like she may have a quality issue as well.

It's a heck of a shock when you find out something like this, particularly if it is unexpected, and it really is lovely of you to take the time to find out a bit more. When I started trying to conceive many moons ago, I always assumed IVF will be a guaranteed back-up, so to find out that even that option is dodgy was really hard to take.

However, it's not all over for her and there are a lot of other options such as egg donation or adoption. She may not be ready to consider these for a while and they may not be right for her, but there are options.

If she wants to talk to us, we'll help as much as we can. Between us all we must have had just about every problem there is to have...!

Thanks for the reply. It sounds like this could be the problem she has as I know that egg donation was discussed. If it is low amh/high fsh is this something you can help to change yourslef or is there nothing you can really do about it without medical help? I am really clueless! I think she is going to take some herbal remedies to see if that helps but I didn't know how effective they are likely to be when it is for something as serious as this.

Derby2

MrsSippi wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. It sounds like this could be the problem she has as I know that egg donation was discussed. If it is low amh/high fsh is this something you can help to change yourslef or is there nothing you can really do about it without medical help? I am really clueless! I think she is going to take some herbal remedies to see if that helps but I didn't know how effective they are likely to be when it is for something as serious as this.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about a diminished reserve; you're simply born with a certain number of eggs and once they're gone, they're gone. Some women have reduced their FSH through healthy lifestyle and acupunture, and this may help her get funding through the NHS (although I don't know the exact circumstances of course).

There are things she can do to help egg quality to some degree-eating protein, taking CQ10, Royal Jelly but sadly they are not miracles. I always took the view that I would pretty much try anything I could.

I also have acupuncture which has helped regulate my cycle and improve my lining.