Reality finally dawns!!

EGGP1878

I'm sorry but £30,000 a year benefits is absolutely disgusting. My girlfriend works every hour god sends and doesn't even earn half of that. It's just fundamentally wrong.

Whatever way you look at it, working should pay more than government handouts. It's as simple as that.

Oh and with regards to the budget issues, cancel the holiday and stop the nights out.

LannieDuck

suburbanwifey wrote: »

How dare you attack the man who was made redundant? Has it occured to you that maybe his redundancy was caused by the place he was working at closing? My husband worked at a company that closed the plant 13 years ago and all 144 staff were made redundant! How dare you imply he lost his job through not being good enough at it? the levels people will go to on here to defend benefit claimants is astounding? and yes, guess you'll get this post of mine removed like you did the last one. You don't like people having opinions that differ from yours do you? its not a public forum this, its a forum where we have to all agree or posts are removed.

Do your stuff sad one but leave the man who was made redundant alone, spiteful one you are.

Err... KxMx was showing how wrong people can be when you make assumptions based on limited information on threads like this.

You need to read the last line of his/her post more carefully: "See, not nice when a stranger on an internet forum makes negative assumptions is it?"

Mara_uk7

suburbanwifey wrote: »

KxMx wrote: »

It is certainly sad when posters see the £££, and conveniently forget OP has a disabled child./QUOTE]

Disabled? Autistic? don't you mean badly behaved? or cash cow?

I have read the forums here for years and THAT has to be one of the most ignorant hard hearted things I have ever read.

Suburban wifey, I hope you never have a disabled child or grandchild !

heartbreak_star

Just out of interest, re redundancy - it's nothing to do with how good you are at your job, it is the actual post that is made redundant, not the person.

As an example, a person uses an abacus every day of work. The company then brings in calculators. The abacus-user will either be retrained or made redundant, as the company has no need for an abacus-user.

HBS x

BEAT_THE_DEBT

mmmmm we should all be helping one another we are all aiming for the same things live and let live x

pennies_from_Heaven

KxMx wrote: »

It is certainly sad when posters see the £££, and conveniently forget OP has a disabled child.

You should be thankful your children are healthy which one would hope cancels out the jealously about the benefits income.

Sadly it seems not.

I presume this was directed at me? If you read my post properly instead of getting on your soapbox, you would see that I didn't make a judgement about the op - as far as I am concerned she is claiming what she is entitled to, and good luck to her. I was merely expressing shock at the amount, and correcting another poster who wrongly stated that if you have kids and earn below 30k, it gets topped up via the benefits system to that amount. It does not. And no I am not jealous! I am proud to be hard working and setting a good example.

And how do you know my children are healthy or not? That wasn't bought into discussion and is nothing to do with you. You know nothing of mine or others circumstances, past or life path, the discussion is about the op and her finances. From what I can see you are just using this post to cause trouble.

Newgirl_2

Ignoring the spats... I'm just going to comment on the OP.

I agree with Nev and others who have said that there is room to move. Some items on the SOA are luxuries and could be reduced or cut. For example:

Holidays are not essentials.

Christmas doesn't have to be quite so expensive.

Eating out/coffees etc, that's an easy one to reduce.

It's really a case of working out what is most important and putting those first.

Everyone has different ideas of course, these are just mine. It wouldn't bother me if I never had a holiday away again - as long a I get a break from work and time to myself, I'm happy as Larry. But it goes without saying if you can't afford one, you don't have one. Simple.

One thing I did want to pick up on - it would be no bad thing for your children (if the right age) to learn about money and be involved. It will teach them well for the future.

Good luck OP. Stick with the board

Newgirl

chevalier

Pls remember Debt-Free Wannabe's for support and help not judgement

This is the code for this part of the forum. I am absolutely astonished by the spite on this thread. Even when the OP has further explained her circumstances the spite and comments have not lessened. Gee guys and gals give it a break. If you can't offer the OP advice with no 'tone' then duck out of the thread.

OP I think an issue here is making your money work harder for you. Let's take xmas as an example.

I have 'many' nephews and nieces. When they were younger I set a limit of 20 pounds a person for their presents. BUT whilst that is what the present cost me, it was often WORTH much more.

This is because I
shopped in sales in January for things for the next xmas/birthday - I had a fair range of ages and both sexes to buy for, so if something went out of fashion with one it probably came into fashion with a younger one.
always looked online as well as in the shop. Wherever was cheapest got my money. I had no loyalty to any corner/local shop, I couldn't afford to be
always looked to try and find voucher to get money off. Hotdeals uk and the voucher section on here were my best friends
I kept a regular eye on the freebies board for things for presents.
Finally I was a member of several cash back sites. Eg Quidco and topcashback. Whichever one paid the most cash back I went through them.

Quite often they would have presents that were worth double or triple what I paid for them.

For my own children I allowed a bit more money, but still applied the same principles.

Now the relations are older I send them cheques, so now it is even simpler! But my bill for Xmas is about 450 pounds, for nearly a dozen people.

Could you do any of the above for xmas?
Is there anyone you could trim from the present giving, or offer to do token present so both you and the receiver save?

Good luck with getting stuff under control..

Oh by the way do you get respite care, ie residential? YOU need to destress and keep well too...
chev

hamilton20

Hi OP - just wanted to give my support to you. I must say I don't like the way some people have spoken to you on here - pretty shameful. It must be very difficult coping with an autistic child on your own. I cannot imagine. I would think it's a never ending 24 hour job with times when, even when you love your child dearly - you must be tearing your hair out - a lot harder/more wearing than working a 9-5! Two of my friends from university have autistic children and although I don't see them as much as I used to as they both now live quite far away, when I do see them what impresses upon me is the constant, non-relenting attention from a parent that an autistic child needs.

I think you can be forgiven for needing to take "time out" from it now and again and have some "me" time. I would think it is very sensible for every full time carer to have some me time/ a break from their responsibilies on occasion or you might just get totally ground down. You sound like a good mother.

What I am about to say may be a bit controversial for some people, but I myself believe it is a good thing if the amount given in DLA includes an amount of money that a carer can spend on taking some breaks from their responsibilities when those responsibilities are relentless - I feel then there is probably a much better chance that person will remain sane and a good carer. I'm sure that if a full time carer had some sort of breakdown then it would cost the state much more than they are paying in DLA for full time care for the dependant in some sort of home. I am sure the state is aware of this fact.

I also imagine in your situation with your autistic child and being on your own finding an understanding/totally flexible workplace would be near impossible (I don't like the way some people on here seem to resent you not "working" by their definition).

I think it might be a good strategy in your current situation if you could look into ways of taking those breaks, which I do think you need, but while you are struggling a bit with money, just doing things that (with the greatest of respect) cost a bit less ? Like if you go out in the daytime then sometimes taking sandwiches and a drink with you rather than buying when you are out? There are also lots of things that can be done away from the home for free or that don't cost much money. I think if you just watch your expenditure in some areas, which you have already (not always kindly) received pointers to, I am sure you will get your finances sorted.

Good luck to you OP x