Reality finally dawns!!

iancrt

!!!!!! is going on on this thread? get over yourselves!
Why should someone that has admitted not being in control of her money get different treatment just because her current source of income comes out of one of the best and fairest welfare systems in the world.
Contrary to headlines, its not that easy to get benefits in the first place and once you do they are constantly checked and re-checked. While as in anything there are some that take the !!!! - whether on benefits or not paying enough income tax - there are probably more of the latter!
I don't see £484 a week being a lot of money for a family, and for a family with special requirements IMOP we are probably seriously letting these kids down as a society.
If you were working and earning less than that with a family you are entitled to benefits to raise it to that.

Personally I do not begrudge my NI and tax - I am proud to pay my part into the system now I am in a position to do so. I haven't always been - I have seen both sides!
This forum is supposed to help people help themselves, it has helped me which I am eternally grateful for. It can help the OP.

OneLife_OneShot

I may have went a bit overboard with the reply but you didn't mention at the start you had a disable child that would have helped.

Now I am not doubting the child's disability but I like others have pointed out here have seen people including people I know claim every benefit under the sun for their "autistic children" and I use that phrase lightly because their is nothing wrong with them.

Its all just an excuse to some parents to live a live footed by hard working people and the sooner stricter tests are implemented and the children who really need help get it then the better.

The reason so many are shocked is that you don't have much debt you are just over spending from a great amount of money each month on things you really don't need.

lizzy23

suburbanwifey wrote: »

Autistic, the new illness so many (any idea how many are diagnosed with this new illness that was barely heard of 20 years ago??) people claim their kids have nowadays. A neighbour of mine, told me her kid had been diagnosed autistic, I was shocked, he seems so normal I said. She smiled and commented that he had a few funny little ways and she got a lot more money now. If you ask me, and I don't care if you don't like it, lots of people are diagnosed as mentally ill who aren't and autistic to claim higher benefits. The parents go to get the diagnosis, the parents get the money.

My opinion and I am entitled to it and I don't think there was anything unfair about my post. Lots would like to say what I have said but as so many on here defend those on 30K a year on benefits, we get told to shut up and No, I don't read the Daily Mail, I don't waste money on rubbish papers.

Maybe it just wasn't diagnosed,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, lots more kids ended up being labelled as bad uns and ended up in borstal or the like, it says at the top of this forum non judgemental, what gives you the right to slate anybodies circumstances, the op understands she is overspending and asked for help she didn't ask to be judged,

dylan2011

I have to say, that the majority of posts on here are aimed at the "general" view of benefits and the governments starnge way of hitting the families that need the help hardest and giving some a free ride. However, there are a couple of posts here that are downright disgusting and truly are judgemental. Autism is a horrible illness to deal with. It is truly something which will push any parent to their limits. Please OP, just ignore these certain ignorant souls, whom I am sure would quickly cry wolf should the situation be put upon themselves.

Onto helping with your budget and income. Have you looked at the "up your income" board. Every little helps. I currently do a few surveys - not loads, but earn on average £10 a week out of them for a couple of hours here and there at times that suit me. Also, Dooyoo reviews, again about £10 a week, for a few hours here and there writing about products I own. I know it;s only £20 a week, but for me, that makes a huge difference (ie. whether we can have xmas or not).

For holidays - look for butlins special offers - I think my sister paid around £200 a couple of years ago in the summer holidays for a break there. You could probably halve your current spend on that with a good bit of research. I understand that it is important for you to have this special time with your children.
Christmas, I will be brutally honest - cut back. You really dont NEED to spend that much. Teach your children true values now, before it is too late. I have a budget of £400 total maximum. This includes 2 children - £60 each all in - £40ish main present, £15ish stockings, £5ish new outfit for the day (check out second hand places for big presents, facebook things for sale etc. poundland for stocking fillers).
Partner and I have £10 each budget.
We then have -
My side - 4 brothers, 1 sis in law, 1 sister, 1 niece, mum, dad, step mum, grandad
His side - 2 brothers, 1 sis in law, mum, dad, niece, aunty, uncle
We buy for all - £5-£10 each.
Then xmas dinner, decorations, drinks etc.

Other savings - Look at the Old Style board - grocery shopping could be cut quite easily by quite a chunk. We feed 4 for "200-"250 a month easily. could cut further if needed.
Phone sky and threaten to leave - u might get a cheap deal.
Clothes - I buy my kids stuff on facebook things for sale. Have spent about £75 this year, but have also sold atleast that aswell. Sell whatever you can too. I only buy bare essentials for myself. £5 a month max on clothes.

I really think you can improve your budget greatly with a few simple changes. But you have to really want it first.

OneLife_OneShot

dylan2011 wrote: »

Autism is a horrible illness to deal with. It is truly something which will push any parent to their limits. Please OP, just ignore these certain ignorant souls, whom I am sure would quickly cry wolf should the situation be put upon themselves.

I agree but and yes my post may have been a bit judgemental but that was before the OP said she had a disabled child.

My ex had an autistic child who she continues to use for her own personal gain by not working and claiming everything. Not the child fault of course, he is a very smart ,bright child. I would say its borderline if he even is autistic at all. She even told me once he is very very slightly autistic.

My girlfriend is a support worker to an autistic adult who is 29 years of age, she helps him to his group once a week, helps him understand the concept of time and money etc and takes him wherever he chooses to go on their day together. Yet the funding for her job is set to be cut in the new year.

Tell me how its right to claim for all the benefits under the sun for a child who might not even be disabled yet someone who needs the help and friendship may no longer get it soon because of the government.

And this is not aimed at the OP this is just my view of how parents who have no work ethic are taking this country for a free ride and using their children to do it.

OP if your child has a disability then I wish you all the best in looking after him/her and I am sure you will do the best job you can.

dylan2011

I agree conisme, I think the way the country is run in so many aspects is completely wrong.
My partner and I both work hard (I have 2 children, and I have gone back to work when they are 4 weeks old each. However, I am self employed and was able to take them to work with me. I could not have had this luxury if I was having to pay childcare, as the cost of it is ridiculous and the help available is hardly worth having).
We have a total income of £370 a week, which has to pay for everything including £600 every 4 weeks rent, council tax at £130 a month etc. and we have to cut back EVERYWHERE. I know lots of people who get more money than this for sitting on their !!!!!! doing nothing.
Admittedly our income could be higher if my partner got a full time salary job, but he is currently temp/casual working whilst funding himself through an NVQ he has wanted to do for a long, long time.
It is disgusting that some people get away with it and seem to have everything handed to them on a plate, but there are also quite a few people on benefits who DO actually deserve the help, and I am happy to help them. The OP here does actually seem genuine. I think she just needs a sharp kick up the rear end about the reality of what is important in any childs life, whether that have a dissability or not.

OneLife_OneShot

Its even more sickening when you see someone who actually needs help and they can't get it like an older man I know who was made redundant . He has worked hard and paid tax all their life for over 40 years.

The job centre refused to help him until he got his redundancy ( he just wanted to sign on as he actually wants to work) yet gives houses to druggies and alcos, its unreal and annoys the life out of me.

This thread is annoying me now lol.

iancrt

dylan2011 wrote: »

she just needs a sharp kick up the rear end about the reality of what is important in any childs life, whether that have a dissability or not.

I think thats what she has asked for by posting. I certainly never posted anything when I was in a mess for fear of what people would say.

Back to the original post + further info we now have.

there is a reduction in outgoings about to happen:
£145 a month gone when driving test passed (if you fail think hard about what you are going to do)
£80 electric will drop - should be about £40 for 1 adult 2 kids but depends on actual use.
£24 TV licence down to £12

Thats £197. I would not go out for the next couple of months and reduce your holiday savings to pay any shortfall during this time. Once these bills sort themselves re-do your SOA (obviously with an increase to holiday savings) and have another look at it all.
Do include a budget to go out though once you are sorted, but perhaps look at doing it cheaper (mid week drinks vouchers, 2 for 1 meals etc). There is nothing wrong with doing so if that what you enjoy.

I also think your water bill looks too high for a £550 house (assuming its is rented). does depend on area though. Is that metered or RV?

LannieDuck

I think this one's relatively straight-forward - there's a lot you can do to cut back while you pay off the outstanding debts: no eating out, stop saving for a holiday etc. Check your TV/phone package and see if you can get cheaper.

Once you've paid the debts off, you need to redo your budget (with your reduced costs - driving lessons, electric, TV) and make sure you can break even each month.

dylan2011

iancrt wrote: »

I think thats what she has asked for by posting. I certainly never posted anything when I was in a mess for fear of what people would say.

Same here. Unless you meet certain persons "criteria" posts can sometimes be extremely personal. It is one thing to give constructive criticism of a persons lifestyle, even in a very direct manner, but it is completely different to give a personal attack, which unfortunately seems to have happened to the OP.
I hope you continue reading OP and get the help you truly need. Have a look through some suggestions of cutbacks made by myself and other posters, and see what you can achieve.
Old Style forum is good - it is full of peeps wanted to cut back but still enjoy a good life - just with a different "vision" of what makes fun.
You don't have to "give things up", just cut back and do things in different ways. You may find you enjoy your new "frugal" ways much more. I know I like nothing more than bargain hunting.