Reality finally dawns!!

yummybutgrumpymummy

I've never been good with money.. or choosing men that are good with money either!!

After being a single mum for 18 months it has finally dawned on me that I am in a bit of a pickle...

In 2006 I declared myself bankrupt after a previous partner ran up bills and credit cards in my name and after 3 years of trying to prove it wasn't me I gave up, accepted my fate and went to the courts. 7 yrs later I am not in as much debt... however 2 children and 1 failed relationship later I am worried. My ex partner who does not help financially and rarely did in the 10 yrs we were together will not accept that he participated in this current situation so I go it alone.

I've just done the budget brain and its hit me that I overspend let alone pay my debts!! so it begins... I want to try and become debt free without my children noticing things have changed (well maybe a little) and hopefully in 3yrs I will be debt free!

Thats my plan, by Xmas 2016 I WILL be debt free! I hope i have done the following bit correct lol!!

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Income from Employment (after tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Income from Self Employment (before tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
State Pension . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private Pension / Annuity Payout. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Benefits (Inc. Child Benefit/Tax Credits & Income Support). . . . . . . . . . . 2,059.92
Income From Savings & Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Gifts From Family / Friends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.50
TV licence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24.00
Internet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Home phone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00
Garden maintenance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Household maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Oil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Electricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00
Gas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54.64
Council tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Overdraft cost. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Bank account fee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Home insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 550.00
Plumbing/Boiler cover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage payment protection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303.00
Drinks for home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Motoring & Public Transport

Petrol/Diesel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Parking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Rail/Buses/Taxis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122.46
Breakdown cover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Driving lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143.00

Debt Repayments

Credit card repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Hire purchase repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Personal loan repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108.33
Car loan repayments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Savings & Investments

Pension payments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Buying shares . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cash ISAs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Lump sum saving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Regular saving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Family

Pet food. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School meals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pocket money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.83
Nappies/Baby extras . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Laundry/Dry cleaning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.50
Children's travel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Baby-sitting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25.00
Childcare/Playgroups. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pet insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Travel insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Guitar lesson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112.67
Swimming lessons. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.10

Entertainment

Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49.00
Family days out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cinema/Theatre trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Books/Music/Films/Computers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Big days out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Shopping for fun. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pet costs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Hobbies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
IT/Computing (antivirus, etc) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
DVD rental. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00

Clothes, Health & Beauty

Complimentary therapies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Optical bills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.00
Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24.00
Dentistry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Beauty treatments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Healthcare cash plans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Dental insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private medical insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Fitness/Sports/Gym. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Work clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
New children's clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
New clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00

Education & Courses

University tuition fees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School fees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Your courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00

Big One-Offs

Funeral expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Wedding expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Sofa/Kitchen/TV . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Birthdays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Winter holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Summer holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83.33

Odds & Sods

Newspapers and magazines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.50
Tax & NI Provisions (self-employed only). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Regular charity donations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Meals at work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Smokes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65.00


Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,059.92


Total monthly expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,252.86

19lottie82

you get over 2k a month in benefits?????:eek:

dancingfairy

yummybutgrumpymummy wrote: »

I've never been good with money.. or choosing men that are good with money either!!

After being a single mum for 18 months it has finally dawned on me that I am in a bit of a pickle...

In 2006 I declared myself bankrupt after a previous partner ran up bills and credit cards in my name and after 3 years of trying to prove it wasn't me I gave up, accepted my fate and went to the courts. 7 yrs later I am not in as much debt... however 2 children and 1 failed relationship later I am worried. My ex partner who does not help financially and rarely did in the 10 yrs we were together will not accept that he participated in this current situation so I go it alone.

I've just done the budget brain and its hit me that I overspend let alone pay my debts!! so it begins... I want to try and become debt free without my children noticing things have changed (well maybe a little) and hopefully in 3yrs I will be debt free!

Thats my plan, by Xmas 2016 I WILL be debt free! I hope i have done the following bit correct lol!!

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Income from Employment (after tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Income from Self Employment (before tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
State Pension . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private Pension / Annuity Payout. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Benefits (Inc. Child Benefit/Tax Credits & Income Support). . . . . . . . . . . 2,059.92
Income From Savings & Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Gifts From Family / Friends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.50
TV licence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24.00 after a while doesn't this go down to 12 a month?
Internet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Home phone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00
Electricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00
Gas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54.64
Council tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 550.00

Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303.00
Drinks for home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Rail/Buses/Taxis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122.46 I am guessing these are all essental journeys? can you car share? can you get a season ticket/discount tickets in advance or anything? a railcard?

Driving lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143.00 [COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]Don't have a problem with this however you can't afford to do this and your child to have guitar lesson and to pay for a course and to repay debts etc etc so some hard choices will need to be made.[/COLOR]

Debt Repayments

chase repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Personal loan repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108.33


Savings & Investments


Family


Pocket money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.83

Laundry/Dry cleaning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.50
Children's travel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Baby-sitting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25.00

Guitar lesson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112.67
Swimming lessons. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.10

Entertainment

Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49.00 this might have to go or be downgraded to a basic package


Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00 [COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]not sure you can afford this to be honest. [/COLOR]

Clothes, Health & Beauty

Complimentary therapies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Optical bills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.00
Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24.00

New children's clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
New clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00

Education & Courses

Your courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00

Big One-Offs


Summer holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83.33

Odds & Sods

Newspapers and magazines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.50

Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65.00 [COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]an easy saving here. Is it really worth 65 a month? I think you'll find it's probably not and you could make do with just on a friday or something. [/COLOR]


Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,059.92


Total monthly expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,252.86

I've been through and made several suggestions. You have quite a bit of income so have various choices. You need to decide which are priorities for your family - driving lessons/guitar lessons/meals out/sky/your course of study etc etc.
Best of Luck
df

suburbanwifey

£2,059.92 a month in benefits ?? !!!!!!

iancrt

19lottie82 wrote: »

you get over 2k a month in benefits?????:eek:

lol Do you buy the Daily Mail?

YBGM. Its likely that bits of your benefits are directly tied to your outgoings, such as housing benefit = rent?. Can you mark these up as its no good suggesting saving on your house cost if all this will do is reduce your income by the same amount.

I think you are overly worried here, If you are spending £200 a month more than you have coming in wheres the debt? Big overdraft? Family member? If you are just concerned over the potential to get into debt simple things as have been suggested will work.

The main thing that jumps out is the Driving lessons. Can you have less and just take longer? Are they critical? I don't see having and running a car saving you £200 a month when you only spend £122 on buses (consider that everything else in that section would have to be filled out when running a car)

bargainbetty

yummybutgrumpymummy wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile phones . . . . 12.50
TV licence. .. . . . 24.00 (should be £12-13 per month, check)
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . 5.00
Electricity . . . . 80.00 Can you reduce usage? Get the kids to switch things off etc?
Gas . . . . . . . 40.00
Water . . . . . . . 54.64 This seems high - meter?
Council tax . . . 20.00
Mortgage/Rent . . . . 550.00
Food and household shopping . . 303.00 Try cutting this - old style board will help with tips, should be able to cut £50-75 off without too much stress
Rail/Buses/Taxis. . . 122.46 Is this a travel card?
Driving lessons . . . 143.00 Why? you can't afford a car right now. Maybe pull back until you are less skint?

Debt Repayments
Personal loan repayments. 108.33 How much longer to pay?

Family
Pocket money. . . . 10.83
Laundry/Dry cleaning. . 7.50 What is this for?
Baby-sitting. . . 25.00 Can you not share with another local parent?
Guitar lesson .. 112.67 For who? This is a big chunk of your expenses.
Swimming lessons. . 19.10

Satellite/Digital TV. . 49.00
Drinking out. . 30.00 You can't afford this.
Eating out. 75.00 You can't afford this.

Clothes, Health & Beauty

Optical bills .. 19.00 Shop around (I know specs/lens aren't cheap)
Haircuts. . 24.00 Every month? Spread haircuts out a bit more, or go to the local beauty colleges.
New children's clothes.. 75.00 Every month? You can't afford this. Are you selling old stuff on ebay?
New clothes .. 20.00 As above?

Your courses. . 80.00 What is this? Will it help you find work, or make money?

Big One-Offs
Summer holiday. 75.00 You can't afford this at the moment.
Christmas .. 83.33 A grand for Christmas? You really can't afford this right now. Kids don't need that much.

Newspapers and magazines. 19.50 Read online.
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks .. 65.00 You can't afford this right now.

Total monthly income. . . 2,059.92


Total monthly expenses. . 2,252.86

As others have said, you need to decide what is important to your family. How old are your children? Are they old enough to understand that things don't grow on trees? You said you don't want things to be noticed, but the reality is that they need to understand the value of money and how it works. Explain to them gently that you can't have everything this year, and let them help you, i.e. with cooking their own snacks (cheaper and healthier than shop bought) or not clamouring for every new gadget/toy.

I wish you lots of luck, but the biggest change to make is your mindset - you can't change it all on the inside without it showing.

spudsofa

Hi.....I have been lurking for a long time but this has made me come out of my shell.

Guitar lessons ? Can you afford this luxury ?

Child care....you don't work so why ?

Sky TV ? £49p/m sky internet/tv package ?? I use freeview and free sat...cost £0.....go to a lower tariff

Holiday and Xmas total cost is £1900 for this year ! Do you really need to save this much up ?

Driving lessons ? It will NOT save you money. Running a car cost a lot more than the £122 you currently pay per month

TV licence £288 per year ?

You can easily be £200 per month in credit instead of debit if you think a little and cut down on some luxuries.

W

soontobemrsg

I agree with many of the comments other posters have put. You have many unnecessary luxuries within your SOA that actually means that you fall short every month, scrap many of them and you'll soon see a positive figure at the end of every month.

How old are your children?

You seem to be spending a huge amount on electricity - are you paying off arrears? If not you really need to consider switching supplier/tariff and turning things off around the home.

GenericUsername

Hi,

I too have been a long time lurker (sounds terrible) and have decided to get a little more involved, so I would just say that looking at your SOA (and being slap bang in the middle of a debt busting journey myself) you're going to have to sacrifice (some if not all of) the non-essentials. There are some good savings to be made:

Swimming Lessons
Guitar lessons
Drinking out
Eating out
Haircuts
Children's clothes
Clothes
Christmas
Newspapers and magazines
Coffee/Sandwiches / Snacks

Bargainbetty is spot on. I think if you can really focus on changing your mindset and pushing to reduce these outgoings you will make some serious inroads into becoming debt free. It's not easy but try to focus on your ultimate goal rather than the sacrifices. Good luck.

FBaby

No offense intended, but it sounds like you are expecting to live the life of someone earning a very good salary on benefit income. Few working people spend £125 a month going out to eat and drink (including baby sitter).

If you want to get out of debt, you will have accept that you can't carry on with that lifestyle and cut out the evenings out, holiday and expensive Christmases.

theoretica

Are the guitar lessons for you or a child? Can you get them cheaper through school (for the child) or cut down to fortnightly/ pay for them by busking (for you).