Reality finally dawns!!

Skinnylatte

You've had a tough time on this forum, but there's some great help too, so please hang around. I'm a big fan of Ebay, can you sell kids old clothes/toys etc on Ebay to fund Christmas and birthdays?

Vikipollard

yummybutgrumpymummy wrote: »

I've never been good with money.. or choosing men that are good with money either!!

After being a single mum for 18 months it has finally dawned on me that I am in a bit of a pickle...

In 2006 I declared myself bankrupt after a previous partner ran up bills and credit cards in my name and after 3 years of trying to prove it wasn't me I gave up, accepted my fate and went to the courts. 7 yrs later I am not in as much debt... however 2 children and 1 failed relationship later I am worried. My ex partner who does not help financially and rarely did in the 10 yrs we were together will not accept that he participated in this current situation so I go it alone.

Why does your ex partner not help financially? The CSA (or whatever they are called now) should be all over his !!!.

If it's genuinely because he's only in receipt of benefits he should still be paying £5 a month.

And if he isn't working, why can't he help with the care for your son? That might allow you to (a) go out for that one evening a month without paying £25 for the pleasure or (b) be in a position to work.

Not being judgemental here. Genuine questions.

spudsofa

Can we get back to the topic and give advice on saving money.
This isn't about benefits.

There are lots of ways to save money, it needs a change in mindset like a previous poster has said.

I have 2 children and a wife to support. We haven't been on a holiday for over 6 years. Best was a day trip to Alton Towers using BOGOF vouchers. Xmas.....we prob spend less than £400.

My income is less than the OP but we are not in debt.

Before I got married I was over 30k in debt but I paid all that off in 4 years by paying 1k monthly. My mindset changed from going out all the time to staying at home. I use the internet prevent myself from being bored. Generally anything that cost money I cut out. You don't need to buy clothes all the time. You don't need to eat out. Hell yeah, it will be hard but your cashflow is relativity easy to sort out compared to majority of people here.

Once you have changed, you will realise there will be a surplus leftover each month. You can use this to give you and your children treats. Regard this as a reward for being frugal.

W

NYM

yummybutgrumpymummy wrote: »

I've never been good with money.. or choosing men that are good with money either!!

After being a single mum for 18 months it has finally dawned on me that I am in a bit of a pickle...

In 2006 I declared myself bankrupt after a previous partner ran up bills and credit cards in my name and after 3 years of trying to prove it wasn't me I gave up, accepted my fate and went to the courts. 7 yrs later I am not in as much debt... however 2 children and 1 failed relationship later I am worried. My ex partner who does not help financially and rarely did in the 10 yrs we were together will not accept that he participated in this current situation so I go it alone.

I've just done the budget brain and its hit me that I overspend let alone pay my debts!! so it begins... I want to try and become debt free without my children noticing things have changed (well maybe a little) and hopefully in 3yrs I will be debt free!

Thats my plan, by Xmas 2016 I WILL be debt free! I hope i have done the following bit correct lol!!

How old are your children ?
Have you involved the CSA if their father refuses to financially support them ?

Some posters have mentioned ways in which you can reduce some of your outgoings.

You acknowledge you overspend and clearly want to curtail it, but to do so will undoubtedly impact on your current life style.

If you don't want your children to notice you've made cut-backs, then start with things that you spend on yourself.

Keep the guitar lessons....dump the magazine/newspapers
Keep the swimming lessons....dump the 'snacks/sandwiches/coffee
Keep part of 'new clothes' budget.....dump at least 50% (it's not necessary to spend £ 22 per week on new clothes)

yummybutgrumpymummy wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Monthly Income Details
Benefits (Inc. Child Benefit/Tax Credits & Income Support). . . . . . . . . . . £ 2,059.92
Monthly Expense Details
In Your Home
Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.50
TV licence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24.00
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00
Electricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00
Gas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54.64
Council tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 550.00
Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 303.00

Motoring & Public Transport
Rail/Buses/Taxis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122.46
Driving lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143.00
Debt Repayments
Personal loan repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108.33
Family
Pocket money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.83
Laundry/Dry cleaning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.50
Baby-sitting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25.00
Guitar lesson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112.67
Swimming lessons. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.10
Entertainment
Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49.00
Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00

Clothes, Health & Beauty
Optical bills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.00
Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24.00
New children's clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
New clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Education & Courses
Your courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00

Summer holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83.33
Odds & Sods
Newspapers and magazines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.50
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65.00
Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,059.92
Total monthly expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,252.86

What educational course are you on ?

Have another look at your expenditure and see where little differences can be made to reduce outgoings.

Puzzcat

Hi and welcome...

The minute I read your first post this morning I knew what was coming.
Red Rag to Bull springs to mind....

I cannot deny I had some similar feelings to others who have posted.

However you came back and explained more so the good people here can advise and help you. Don't give up on MSE, it is a fantastic place, so pull up a chair and a cuppa and get stuck in to the wonderful (most of the time..) forum...

love Puzz. x

chocoholic_chick

I am disgusted at some of the responses on here! She told THE TRUTH about her incomings and outgoings, would it have made you all feel better if she had have lied and said that she spent nothing on going out, or holidays etc? Because she's on benefits does that mean she has to sit in her house all the time and not have any kind of social life?

Yes we can all see there are plenty of areas she can cut back on, but do we need to all be up in arms and horrified about her current spends?

OP as others have pointed out there are areas you can make cut backs on and well done on keeping a spending diary for two weeks so you can see where you're moneys gone. I'm sure you've probably identified a few areas yourself in doing this where you perhaps spent more than you realised. If you're going out for meals have a look online for discount/voucher codes first. If you collect tesco clubcard points these can be exchanged online for various things, including restaurant vouchers and you can often get 4x the value.

Perhaps next years holiday could be sacrificed to help with your debt repayments? If you go over to the old style board as well theres plenty of recipes and ideas on there which should help get your grocery spends down too.

Good luck with your journey

ian1969uk

Definitely some obvious areas to cut back and allow you to live well within your income.

Some of the responses have been a bit harsh, but it is understandable that people working 40+ hours a week raise an eyebrow at a benefits income like that.

I work a 37 hour job plus another part time job and come out after tax etc with about the same income. My job is pretty well paid compared to most.

Anyone who thinks that people working full time for a lot less than the OP receives will not feel hard done by is living in a fantasy land.

Weird_Nev

Well, you don't have a bad income. I'm not going to comment on the source of it.

You need to realise that you have to SPEND LESS since you are reliant on benefits for your income. That's all there is to it. Keep a spending diary, work out where the money slips between your fingers, and budget for expenses. As hard as it may be, you are not entitled to holidays, clothes and meals out that you cannot afford.

Prioritise the essentials and minimise their cost. Eliminate spending on non essential items. Up your income if you can (without jeapardising your benefit income).

I hope your situation improves.

heartbreak_star

Stop eating out. Cut down your driving lessons.

HBS x

pennies_from_Heaven

iancrt wrote: »

!!!!!! is going on on this thread? get over yourselves!
Why should someone that has admitted not being in control of her money get different treatment just because her current source of income comes out of one of the best and fairest welfare systems in the world.
Contrary to headlines, its not that easy to get benefits in the first place and once you do they are constantly checked and re-checked. While as in anything there are some that take the !!!! - whether on benefits or not paying enough income tax - there are probably more of the latter!
I don't see £484 a week being a lot of money for a family, and for a family with special requirements IMOP we are probably seriously letting these kids down as a society.
If you were working and earning less than that with a family you are entitled to benefits to raise it to that.

Personally I do not begrudge my NI and tax - I am proud to pay my part into the system now I am in a position to do so. I haven't always been - I have seen both sides!
This forum is supposed to help people help themselves, it has helped me which I am eternally grateful for. It can help the OP.

Actually you are wrong, we earn less than that and do not receive any top up benefits, only child benefit which just about everyone gets if they have kids, they have lowered the earnings limit for tax credits.
Whilst I do not think the op deserves some of the comments on here as she is claiming what she is entitled to, I too am shocked at the amount she gets as we both work, don't go out and can't afford that much for Xmas etc!