Child Maintenence

arthur_dent_2

Ok I am a mother of two and am happily married to thier father. We do not have very much money at all and I am sure that if it was all worked out in terms of money then they would be being broought up on way less than the csa would reccommend. I had my children knowing that we were never going to be anything other than poor, by the argument put I should not have had them because I cannot afford them. Bringing a child up is less about money and much much more about love and attention.

Kimberley

poppyscorner wrote: »

Sorry but in my opinion you are talkin rubbish
Oh and one more thing like Katiebaby I fully intend to have another child.

Poppy

If he leaves you after you've had your third and meets and has children by someone else, would you still have the same views? I don't think i'm talking rubbish and it is your opinion the same as i'm entitled to mine:rolleyes:

poppyscorner

Kimberley wrote: »

Loads of mothers are struggling to get money via the CSA from absent fathers, what do you say to those mums whos ex's go on to have more kids?

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

So are you now changing your argument before this statement you have slagged off NRP's who pay maintainance for reducing it on the birth of another child that is a statement I disagree with you make it sound like we are taking food from first child/childrens mouths when that is in fact aload of rubbish and as Katiebaby said does it mean we should only ever have one child (regardless of who it is with) We have never said it is OK not to pay any maintainance just that it is reasonable for the pwc to expect a slight drop in payments when the NRP moves on and possibly has more children they can't expect to be single and held over a barrel by an ex for money for the rest of their life.
Of course some men are so scarred by the experience they had with the ex that they will never have another child and that to me is a disgrace everything in this country is stacked in the mothers favour it is so biased and it is terrible oh that poor mother her hubby left her she is entitled to everything they built TOGETHER the child they had TOGETHER automatically has become her child but HE has to pay through the nose for child and will only be allowed to see child if the mother feels like letting him.
Go to court will take you a couple of years to get there financially cripple you and by the time you get to see your kid they have forgotten who you are and call MUMMYS latest squeeze DAD is it fair I think not!!!!!

arthur_dent_2

If hubby walked out on me and went off with another bird, I would be very concerned that he remined in contact with the children and that they grew up to regard their little brother or sister as their own. Of course I would be bitter about being left but I would hope not to let this cloud my judgement. Circumstances and monetary situations change.

poppyscorner

Kimberley wrote: »

If he leaves you after you've had your third and meets and has children by someone else, would you still have the same views? I don't think i'm talking rubbish and it is your opinion the same as i'm entitled to mine:rolleyes:

Yes I would I work now to support my family and if he left tomorrow I would continue to do so I would expect that he shares in his parental responsibility and has our sons as often as he could I would never stand in his way and I would not ask him for a penny he could keep it and spend it on the boys and if he had kids with someone else then good luck to him I still know he would have our kids and give them the same love as he does now he is a great dad and that is all he ever wanted to be I am not bitter towards his ex and if he left tomorrow I wouldn't be bitter towards a new girlfriend as long as she was good to my boys (he wouldn't settle for any less) I would be happy.
Absent fathers should not be hauled over the coals all of the time my hubby would have his daughter a lot more than he does now but the ex won't allow it you see at present she has control their child is HER bargaining tool it is disgusting and too many women go on like that in the break down of a relationship kids don't care how much daddy pays mummy they just want to be loved
And THAT is my opinion I'm glad I shared it with you all

arthur_dent_2

Agree with the above. Mothers are all too often out to get what they can with very little regard for the child or the fathers rights.

poppyscorner

Another point I would like to make is if its so hard for the pwc to survive on the maintainance then let the NRP have the child live with them I wouldn't utter a word if my SD came to live with us infact I would gladly support her after all one more mouth won't make too much difference to me.
Would this ever happen ?not on your life the ex would lose the money she says is so useless to have or even worse she may have to pay it !!

poppyscorner

Arthur Dent we are in exactly the same boat as you we have not been or are ever likely to be rich and I don't spend what CSA say on my children either does it make us bad parents no my kids are clean well dressed and have food in their tummies they have all of the love in the world we might not have pots of money but we spend quality time with them to anyone who disagrees come and ask our son if he is happy and for that instance come and ask my step daughter too I kow exactly what they would tell you.

I am sure your kids would feel exactly the same.

Katie~baby

Kimberley wrote: »

So if you were financially in trouble and you were finding it hard to put bread on the table for your child, you would have the same view right?

Loads of mothers are struggling to get money via the CSA from absent fathers, what do you say to those mums whos ex's go on to have more kids?

If i was in financial trouble then i would do something to rectify it! Like work more hours. But my partner would NEVER let it get like that. Even if he didnt pay csa i know he would help as much as he possibly could!

Oh how dramitic! Asking me to justify myself to others who may be in completly different curcumstances to me!! Its not my problem that SOME fathers wont pay up!! Its also not my fault other daddys decide to have more children! And as for what i would say to these mothers, i'd say Is your child loved and cared for? Does your child enjoy visiting their daddy and all their new siblings.. How about mothers think about the child instead of how much money they can extract for children they CHOSE to have as well....

Kimberley

Keep your hairs on it's not the end of the world My opinion, you have yours, we don't all agree :rolleyes: