Child Maintenence

daisy_doughnut_2

wow it amazis me that when some one posts about reducing or trying to reduce CSA every one is quick to critisise

the op stated that it is a private arrangement his wage may be very little and his payment may allready be over 25% of his wages

he allowed the mother to take the child to spain when you have pr or not you can still kick up a stink but the op didnt probally thinking the child would be happier as would the mum

so why is it unreasonable to think that they may come to an amicable agreement where as she help to sustain contact by phone or letter as she has taken the son to another country
also
why is it that people start to boil up when the NRP has another child
its like saying well you best find someone who doesnt an never will want children

as for the 50 pounds a week well i think its a very reasonable ammount
its supposed to be half of what the child needs an well i could certainly bring my child up on 100 pound with change he also pays for the plane tickets which aint cheap
i dont get a penny of my childs father
the op came here for advice not to be made to feel wrong was he ment to stay single not risk any more children in a cheap 1 bed flat????

im betting that the CSA when taken in to account where his son lives an the expence of gettint to see him wouldnt give him an assment so high uless he is on a ver high wage

give him a break he is trying to do whats best he didnt come across as a "i dont want to pay for my son" type of person

Kimitatsu

The average cost of bringing up a child form 0-21 is apparently £23.50 per day, so I do think that £50 a week is pretty good given the other circumstances that he has left her with.

The OP's original post was questioning if the CSA could chase this as she has moved out of the UK - to which I think the answer is no but again you have to take legal advice. It may well be that she claims to live in this country (and if she does for more than a certain number of days in a year then she is entitled to claim UK citizenship) and so could enforce the CSA.

Have you checked out the CSA website? It has a calculator on there which will indicate how much you would be paying - it does not take into account the PWC income so however much she earns would be discounted.

If your son is 10 then he may find it difficult to call you - does he know your number? Can you make an arrangement to ring him at a specific time.? Whilst maintenance and access are not linked (and nor should they be) it would be nice for your son to know you are still there so that as he gets older he can keep up that relationship.

HTH

SSB

Hi

Although your child lives Spain, you are still liable to pay and your ex can still pursue you. There are European conventions and regulations rearding this, check out CAB website for further advie.

nej

Kimberley wrote: »

If you have another baby knowing you pay maintenance for a previous child and cannot afford it then why go for that baby? You hear stories of men having baby after baby after baby with different mothers and the same with women. People do not think of their children in these circumstances.

I think this is very short-sighted. Do you know the situation?

If my wife left me and I fell in love with someone else and remarried, I would possibly want to have another baby. Should the new wife remain childless? This is not fair on her.

As I said before, my wife's ex got married and had 2 kids with his new wife. He now doesn't pay anything towards his daughter (my step-daughter). You know what? We don't care. He is happy, we are happy. None of us are bitter or twisted. And money doesn't get in the way. All we ask is that he take her shopping once a year for some clothes, which he usually does. He doesn't have tons of money, and we are capable of providing for her, so there is no problem.

It's mothers who try and stitch their ex's up for every penny, regardless of whether they need it or not because "it's his child", with no thought to his life that really annoy me.

Lizalu

nej wrote: »

I think this is very short-sighted. Do you know the situation?

If my wife left me and I fell in love with someone else and remarried, I would possibly want to have another baby. Should the new wife remain childless? This is not fair on her.

It's mothers who try and stitch their ex's up for every penny, regardless of whether they need it or not because "it's his child", with no thought to his life that really annoy me.

Completely agree with you, and this is coming from a female

To the OP - You really do need to talk to someone more official but good luck. And I wish you and your new partner all the best with the baby!

purplepatch

Kimberley wrote: »

If he's supporting them thats great, what you were telling the OP is to go to the CSA to reduce his £200 a month payments which are already a misery sum to pay.

Well my husband pays £200 a month iro his son and it stretches us financially. It was agreed at a time when both me and him were working and was affordable. Now only he is working, and I'm looking after our 2 daughters, we struggle to find the £200 each month. Ex is remarried and financially supported, probably earning a similar household income to us. She doesn't work.

Your suggestion that £200 a month is miserly (assuming that's what you meant by 'misery') and also your subsequent comment that fathers should not go on to have other children is pretty insulting. Bearing in mind that both parents should be responsible for the child, my husband's £200 should be matched by the boy's mother - so £400 a month is easily enough to support a child. Even £200 is ample, I don't spend anything like that on either of my 2 and they don't want for anything.

loftus

The OP is obviously a responsible father - he is paying towards his son and didn't oppose the move to Spain when he could easily have made it difficult.
I also see no issues about people who have separated/divorced starting families with new partners. Any maintenance they pay should be adjusted to reflect their new responsibilities.
But this doesn't absolve them of responsibility for the child(ren) they had with their ex. Maintenance payments are contributions towards the bringing up of their child(ren) - how well off the former partner is or how well they did in any settlement isn't the issue.

Kimberley

purplepatch wrote: »

Well my husband pays £200 a month iro his son and it stretches us financially. It was agreed at a time when both me and him were working and was affordable. Now only he is working, and I'm looking after our 2 daughters, we struggle to find the £200 each month. Ex is remarried and financially supported, probably earning a similar household income to us. She doesn't work.

Your suggestion that £200 a month is miserly (assuming that's what you meant by 'misery') and also your subsequent comment that fathers should not go on to have other children is pretty insulting. Bearing in mind that both parents should be responsible for the child, my husband's £200 should be matched by the boy's mother - so £400 a month is easily enough to support a child. Even £200 is ample, I don't spend anything like that on either of my 2 and they don't want for anything.

If you are finding it hard to find the maintenance money for your child then yeah, fathers or mothers who pay maintenance shouldn't have more children until they are financially able to support the absent child and their new child, maybe thats how i should have said it in the first place.

Jet

If the child from the first relationship is with the pwc and is wealthy and the nrp is living on a shoe string, I don't see why he should be "punished".

I'm a pwc who gets no maintenance but I would be very happy with £100 per month as he would provide £100 and I would provide £100. £200 a month is more than enough to support a child.

It seems to me that a lot of NRP's get ripped off and not all circumstances are taken into account but then a lot of NRP's know how to play the system and swan around scott free thinking that their children are not financially their responsibity.

Like all things in life, I think a balance needs to be met but with the current CSA (and probably the new one), I doubt it will happen.

Katie~baby

I think to say that the absent father should not have any more children is very unfair. Its not that fathers dont want to support there children its the amount CSA state should be paid that most find unreasonable. We pay a reasonable sum yet we know for a fact the child never sees it so we are left also buying clothes and shoes (and masses amount of nit lotion!!! GGGRRRRR).
Fathers should not be told that they cannot have more children. Plenty of familes have children knowing that they cannot afford it.

To many mothers are iterested in how much the father pays, my parters ex happily told us she stopped us seeing the child because we didnt pay up when she wanted, shes was never worried the effect it had on the child.

Mothers need to realise that money is not the first concern. The first concern should be that the child is loved and cared for by both parents.