Friends boyfriend...awkward situation...WWYD?

aileth

I would tell her....

HOWEVER,

If she is so head over heels for him, chances are even if he said the worst, most awful things about her, she would interpret them in what you might see as bizarre ways, and then you would become public enemy no 1 as she is so besotted by him that he can do no wrong. I would leave it and avoid socialising with them two together.

FatVonD

It was a one-off and he clearly regretted it so he blocked you. I don't think you should tell your friend, she will be embarrassed and she still has to work with you.

I would however hold onto the messages in case he ever says that you came on to him so you can prove that wasn't the case.

double_mummy

FatVonD wrote: »

It was a one-off and he clearly regretted it so he blocked you.

there are lots of reasons he could have blocked her - so he could delete the messages and have no visible connection - covering his a$$ rather than regretting it he swung he missed now hes trying to make sure his OH doesnt find out

see lots of ways to see it

amus

I would be mortified if my boyfriend thought this was acceptable behaviour and would most certainly want to know.

I would be extremely annoyed if somebody I perceived as a friend kept something like this from me and would feel like a fool if she was letting me go on about having such a great boyfriend, all the while knowing he had sent suggestive messages to her.

FatVonD

double_mummy wrote: »

there are lots of reasons he could have blocked her - so he could delete the messages and have no visible connection - covering his a$$ rather than regretting it he swung he missed now hes trying to make sure his OH doesnt find out

see lots of ways to see it

I don't use facebook so am not familiar with it but I think the OP said she still has the messages?

Mojisola

FatVonD wrote: »

It was a one-off and he clearly regretted it so he blocked you. I don't think you should tell your friend, she will be embarrassed and she still has to work with you.

I would however hold onto the messages in case he ever says that you came on to him so you can prove that wasn't the case.

I agree with FatVon.

I would normally say to tell her - I'd want to know if my OH was up to something - but the work situation makes it very difficult.

I think I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that it was a one-off drunken mistake while keeping the messages just in case.

balletshoes

amus wrote: »

I would be mortified if my boyfriend thought this was acceptable behaviour and would most certainly want to know.

I would be extremely annoyed if somebody I perceived as a friend kept something like this from me and would feel like a fool if she was letting me go on about having such a great boyfriend, all the while knowing he had sent suggestive messages to her.

We dont know what he said though. and its facebook ~ people use fb in all sorts of ways, some say stuff on there just to be interacting, they may not mean what they said in the way the OP interpreted(this is the problem when reading text compared to talking to someone).

He,s not on fb with the OP anymore so i would just forget it.

Loz01

If it was me then I would want to know! But if you're worried about being seen as a gossip or a shoot the messenger type scenario then I would try and tell her in a gentle way - maybe as another poster said, say something like "oh x added me on Facebook but I think he was a bit tipsy as he was sending me some funny messages" - if she wants to see, then she knows. If she doesn't, leave it and carry on. Maybe he unfriended you if he's embarrassed and was drunk.

double_mummy

FatVonD wrote: »

I don't use facebook so am not familiar with it but I think the OP said she still has the messages?

yes she has them but he can delete them on his maybe if his gf has his password or he leaves it on regularly it may be part of his show that she can trust him by having his password

i dont think this would be the first time a guy like this would have done it

if he was drunk and had hit on you in person would you have told her? if you were sat with them and she popped off to the toilet and he started bad mouthing her would you not tell her

i think the fact you have evidence and its not just hearsay means she can make a thoughtful decision and cant accuse you of being malicious and making things up just give her the evidence and let her do with it what she will i would think you were much worse of a friend for not telling me

claire16c

If tell her at the end of a work day when no one else is around, don't do it in the morning when she's got to stay there all day.