Friends boyfriend...awkward situation...WWYD?

marisco_2

hieveryone wrote: »

It soon became apparent that he had possibly had a little bit to drink.

There was a couple of comments which were pretty disrespectful towards my friend, and then a couple of 'flirty' type comments. I made my excuses and left the conversation ASAP.

Personally I would have made it clear to him that I did not wish to read anything disrespectful about a person I considered to be a friend, nor to have him trying it on. I take it he wasn't too p!ssed to write coherently, in which case drink isn't an excuse. If I were in your position I would inform any friend of mine who was dating someone like that. What they decided to do with that information would be up to them.

hieveryone

Thanks to the above.

My original intention was to maybe send a message the day after saying pretty much what you wrote ^, but it seemed as though he had deleted/blocked me.

At the time I was just so shocked that I tried to change the subject/make excuses to go, but the comments kept appearing in the message box even though I wasn't replying.

Wilma33

Have you still got the messages? If when I mentioned it the friend asked for more details of what he said then I would show her the messages. She can make her own mind up then.

hieveryone

Yes, they just save automatically in the message history.

I just want to clarify that there is absolutely nothing in the messages that can be seen as me 'encouraging' this behaviour - I wrote back very simple, innocent messages - actually mentioning my friend a good few times almost to remind him that I am friends with her, but this didn't seem to have any effect.

When it got to the point that I was really quite annoyed at him, I made my excuses and left. He then proceeded to message me 5-6 times afterwards.

krlyr

Personally I would tell her. I had a friend (who wasn't a close, close friend, more a friend-of-a-friend) who told me about my ex trying to chat up his girlfriend at a party we were all at. He didn't give his opinion on the ex or anything, just the facts, but that combined with some other doubts I was having was enough for me.

I think give this girl the facts/show her the messages and don't give any opinion on him/the situation at all. If it were me, I would like to know, even if it did hurt.

Person_one

I'd tell her, in fact I'd show her and then she can make her own mind up.

Janey3

I'd tell her too. You would feel uncomfortable if she ever found out about the messages.

duchy

I'd delete the messages and forget about it as he has realized what a dumb thing he did )as he has now blocked you) . He was probably drunk and looked at the messages the next morning and thought OMG.

Had he not blocked you my reply might not be the same though !

double_mummy

print them off and give them to her then let her make her own choice

duchy

If the messages are ambiguous ..... eg as she's so besotted she would make excuses and convince herself you've got a nasty mind and he did nothing wrong...................it could make working together awkward. Obviously you know what they say and we don't so can't judge but don't expect her to thank you for it either way. The messenger usually gets shot one way or another.