woah... are those MY finances??

stewby

OH has changed his mind about Paris... and wants to get engaged in Scotland (probably in the house). That was the thing that had upset me. I wouldn't have cared except he suggested Paris, he wanted a hotel with a view of the eiffel tower. It was all his idea but he wanted me to plan it.
I am beginning to think he maybe expected me to pay for it. (I have paid for all the other holidays myself, including the one to Kos and he has never offered money for it).
This is one of the reasons I have encouraged him to join me in the savings pots. It is awful that I am beginning to feel this way and I feel really guilty about it but (including NZ where I went out to meet him) I have about £5,000 of debt on holidays alone. £7,000 if you include Kos. (I have £12,000 in a loan but that included home improvements when I first bought the house).
:embarasse

Before my LBM, I wouldn't have cared and would have spent more money and paid for Paris, but I really want to sort out my debts and am keen to start saving.
Besides... I don't want to pay for our holiday to get engaged!!
:mad:

Anyways... enough ranting. Sorry.
:eek:

Allergy tests showed a doubtful allergy to something found in rubber but because I wasn't itchy at that part. No allergies to anything else which is a good thing I think.


Seven pounds in two weeks if you are watching what you are eating and exercising sounds about right. Cause (from my experience) the first week, you kinda shock the system and lose a bit then it slows down. On SW, I lost 7lbs the first week and then had about 1-2lbs every week or so. So congratulations!!
:j

I have decided to try the 5:2 diet (using the myfitnesspal app). My dad is away to download it too as he keeps asking me about calories in stuff. Anyways... my dad has lost 9lbs this week and my mum has lost 5lbs so I am going to try the 5:2 diet and then start exercising properly. (I didn't exercise last week and I did eat badly on Wednesday). So starting again from tomorrow and planning to try it that way.


Are you planning on paying off your card by June fmess?? (I can't remember if you told me already. sorry). I look forward to watching you on your journey and cheering you on from the sidelines.


Hope everyone has a lovely evening.
Hugs.

Fmess

You should definitely not have to pay for your holiday to get engaged! I hope this was not your OHs original plan. However, my OH is exactly the same. The only holidays we have ever been on, I have paid for. He either says he doesn't want to spend his money on a holiday, or I pay and he says he'll save and then he doesn't, so I have started going on holiday with friends instead of him. He wastes all of his disposable income and never saves for anything, so I am trying to avoid paying out for things for him. I sometimes think I should just buy my own engagement ring, as he would be happy to be engaged but just doesn't save the money. He is starting to act a bit more responsible with his money, so fingers crossed, he may eventually pay for a holiday or ring. So feel free to rant!

Yes, I hope to pay off my card by June, which will just leave me with my loan. My friend is getting married this year and I need to save for the hen do too, so making my loan repayments, paying off the ccard and paying for the hen do, is going to be a real stretch.

Good luck on the 5:2 diet, let me know how it goes.

stewby

Don't worry... I paid for my ring as well. (however, he was going to get me yellow gold and a diamond which is just not my kinda thing. We have a very pretty platinum ring with a sapphire). So, I can't really complain as I did get to choose.


I am glad your OH is beginning to come round to your way of thinking. How long have you been together for??
I have always wanted to get married in 2018 on the date that we met (28/4... turns out to be a saturday. what a fluke). So the idea of getting engaged this year means that we would have been together for 4 years, get engaged then get married in 4 years. Nice and even for my ocd.


The really stupid thing is that I have always planned on having a massive wait before our wedding as I wanted to save up for it and not have it as a debt (and yet I have remained in debt for another three years so try working that one out).


I am glad that someone else is in the same position. I have no doubt that OH has savings. He has always been very careful with his money and I am pretty sure he gets paid more than me. I know that I told him to make sure he saves money for the bond and that he pays the bond monthly so that would be about £1,350 (if you include what he pays me) but that still leaves him with £650 a month. If I can afford to survive on £200, surely he can afford to live on £300. (and save £300 a month for the holiday). That would even cover his spending money!!
*rolling eyed smilie*

Anyways... again with the rants. I am so sorry.
:embarasse

Fmess

We are so similar and your ring sounds gorgeous. I want a platinum ring, with a garnet stone (my birth stone).

We have been together 7 years this year. Tbh I am not massively bothered about getting married and engaged, but it would be nice for him to save and buy me a ring, more as a gesture. I am convinced we'll be together forever, no-one else would put up with him

I like the 4 year gaps for the meeting, engagement and wedding. It plays to my ocd too, 4 is my number. Everything must be in 4s if my ocd is rife but it has been decreasing for the last few years

I agree your OH should be able to live on £300, from the lifestyle you describe, and it is good that he has savings. What is the bond? I've not come across a bond before.

Don't apologise, you can rant all day, that's what I'm here for

scubaangel

Rant away honey, its what the diaries are for, stops us doing it too often out loud (in my case usually while I'm out running, red faced, struggling to breathe and swearing under your breath does tend to mean other people look at you oddly).

Have you told him how much you were looking forward to the possibility of travelling after he suggested it?

stewby

Nah, to be honest, I couldn't sleep so decided to sleep on the sofa as I couldn't stop thinking about it. It is still playing on my mind now. I am quite upset by it, just because it was him who suggested it.

Tonight he suggested london.... I said that he had to do all the planning as I wasn't going to get involved this time. However, noseyness got in the way and I went on Tripadvisor. Made a casual comment to him about how expensive london hotels are... and he responded by telling me we could just stay outside london and commute everyday!!
:mad:

I can't help but feel a bit heartbroken. I have paid thousands on holidays for us and he can't pay for one holiday himself. I don't want to pay for it but I don't want to get engaged in our house. I won't it to be special. I feel so wrong but it is making me question our whole relationship.


Am I taking this too personally?? Am I expecting too much from him??

Sorry for the rant, I am feeling rubbish and wanted to vent somewhere.
Hugs.

stewby

So... after a depressing couple of days, I am now feeling much better.


Spoke to the nurse who is retiring in October and asked her about the job and stuff. Was very honest with her and explained that I was thinking about maybe applying for it. She was really nice with me which was great. So we will see what happens in October.


After a few days "off the wagon", I have weighed myself (gained some more weight) and am now back on the wagon with renewed enthusiasm.


So... going to go for the whle 5:2 thing after seeing how well dad and mum have done.

15:10 Start weight.
10:08 Planned end weight.

Today is a "two" day... and I have now eaten everything for today and total calories is: 566!!
:j

Hope you have all had a good weekend.
Hugs.

Fmess

Wow 566 calories! Are you starving?

My boss has just started a juice only diet and says she doesn't get hungry on it, even though she hasn't had a meal for 8 days!

I went to the gym twice over the weekend and had my treat meal of the week on Sunday (sausages and mash). Hoping to have lost another 2lbs by Friday, fingers crossed.

Glad you are feeling much better and that you are looking into job prospects, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Hugs

stewby

It's weird but I'm not really that starving fmess...

Although my maths sucks.
:doh:

That was the amount of calories I had left so I have decided today is not a "two" day after all and had a wee hot chocolate.


Hope everyone is doing well.
Hugs.

stewby

Welcome to January 14th 2014... my moment of clarity.


So, here's the thing... I have been working on my budgets and everything and working really hard at it but, in all honesty, I have still been using the credit card. Xmas is always bad for me as I don't really go out shopping much (apart from to supermarkets) so I do a lot of my shopping online. Anyways... this is my crunch time.

I have £4333.61 worth of debt on my credit card.
I will now be trying to get rid of it all by December 2014.
:eek:

Today has been important as we went shopping and I was very careful with what we bought today.
Not only that but despite reading about all the bargains people have been getting in Tescimos (DVDs and books), we went to Tescimos and didn't buy any of it!! I am feeling pretty good about that.


Anyways, it has taken me to page 25 to realise that it is time to become commited. I want that debt gone and like others, I want it gone now.

So, my goals are not changing. In fact, I am writing them out here again to remind myself just what I want to achieve in 2014.

1) clear debt by end 2014.
2) budget better!!
3) save £60 a month for a contingency fund.
4) take part in challenges to keep foccussed.
5) lose 72lbs in weight.
6) OH to get his dream flying job.
7) Plan a dream holiday to New York.
8) get a nice picture of me and OH to go on display.

Hope you guys are not too mad that I haven't been pulling my weight so much. It's wrong but I thought I could sleep-walk my way through this after managing to reduce my £400 monthly budget. I now understand that this is not the case.
Please forgive me if I sound like I was not taking this seriously, believe me that I was. I just didn't understand it properly.
Hugs.