Who provides the children's clothes at the non residential parents home?

iammumtoone

Judi wrote: »

I still don't think its worth arguing about.

Just looked at Asd* online. 1 set of pyjamas for an overnight stay (unless he wets the bed I cant see why he would need more than one for a weekend) £8.

Socks between £4-5 a set.

Boys boxers £4 a set.

Boys jeans. A pair of Asd* cheapies £5

Boys sweat top. Maybe 2 pairs at £7 each.

Honestly, i'd rather buy a set than fall out with an ex over something so petty.

I haven't been arguing about it with ex, when we split up I asked him to have some clothes at his, he said no, I haven't mentioned it to him since 'you pick your arguments' It just makes me feel better to have a moan about it What helps the most about threads like these is its make me see that, in fact I am doing nothing unusual it seems to be the norm, this was a fact I was unaware of, I assumed that as both parents have PR, PR means providing all your child's needs when they stay with you (NRP get reduced CM payments depending on how many nights they have the child, I assumed this reduction was to cover the cost of providing for the child during that time)

Yes I could buy an extra set but to be honest I could do without the expense. I live on a very low budget. Ex however owns more than one house outright, gets income from tenants, has more in the bank that the average person earns in 3 years, earns a very good wage, pays me no where near what he would have to if we went through CSA. So I really think he could provide these things if he wanted to.

starsandmoon

In my case with my ex my DD has a dressing gown, PJs, slippers and spare undies at her dads and a spare set of clothes. She takes clothes with her and comes back in whatever she left from the last visit which are washed. No problems or issues. If she is going swimming she takes her cossie as theres no point having clothing that she will grow out of lingering in the NRPs.

My BF lives in Runcorn and we stay at each others alternate weekends. She has PJs, dressing gown etc there too as saves carrying loads of stuff. We have little handluggage cases and we pop a couple of changes of clothes in. Got it down to a fine art now.

At mums my DD has PJs and a dressing gown there too for when she stays. Dont really leave clothes there as she doesnt stay as much.

System

Yes I could buy an extra set but to be honest I could do without the expense. I live on a very low budget. Ex however owns more than one house outright, gets income from tenants, has more in the bank that the average person earns in 3 years, earns a very good wage, pays me no where near what he would have to if we went through CSA. So I really think he could provide these things if he wanted to.

Well your ex is a tight fisted !!!!!!.

Toto

We pay maintenance for my step daughter but I absolutely love taking her shopping for clothes. She's just turning 13 and I find that an afternoon with just her and I, trying on clothes is really bonding, I love it. She takes her new clothes home with her and she brings whatever she wants to wear from home when she comes over.

System

Toto wrote: »

We pay maintenance for my step daughter but I absolutely love taking her shopping for clothes. She's just turning 13 and I find that an afternoon with just her and I, trying on clothes is really bonding, I love it. She takes her new clothes home with her and she brings whatever she wants to wear from home when she comes over.

you've obviously got a lovely relationship with your stepdaughter.:):):)

zoesmummy_2006

when my ex left I sent clothes with the kids when they'd go overnight, as I had all their stuff with us. He then got himself settled with a gf and place to live, and started buying them clothes.........we're talking our 4 year old son being dressed like a JLS wannabe And dont even get me started on the whole sizing issue-our son is a dinky 5, but my ex seemed to think it ok to dress him in shorts and tshirts for a 2-3 year old this summer, he wears 4-5 in most stuff, I was livid when I saw the clothes as they were sooo tight on him. Had words with the ex and he said he didnt have anything else to put him in, yet was dressed himself in brand new gear. The shorts and tshirt went in the bag for the charity shop, no way was i risking him dressing him in them again. The only outfit he apparently currently has for his is age 3-4 this is the guy who owes me £120 for school uniform still.

Rooibos

Like many my Ex pays below CSA rate. I keep quiet about it now after A LOT of hassle with CSA where he charmed them.

He also pays a reduction based on having our son two nights a week, but he doesn't have to buy him anything else "because he pays maintenance."

I think these men all meet in the pub and discuss how to wind us up! I've learned to not let it wind me up and be the bigger person. I make sure our son doesn't go without.

Anyway - on the subject of clothes - I buy them all for my 15 year old 6ft son who now wears men's size medium. They don't always come back, however one or two of Ex's T-shirts have looked familiar recently - Yes he's 6ft tall medium too... I bet he's wearing all my son's boxers too that have disappeared after 2 weeks with dad in the summer holidays!

HurdyGurdy

My daughter's ex partner has everything my granddaughter needs at his property. The only thing she goes with from home is shoes - and the clothes she is wearing when he picks her up, whether that is from home or nursery.

My daughter used to send everything for the baby at first, but they ended up getting into arguments when clothes came back damaged, or unwashed - or not at all. So it was decided that he would just keep a set of what she needed at his place.

Top_Girl

Judi wrote: »

I still don't think its worth arguing about.

Just looked at Asd* online. 1 set of pyjamas for an overnight stay (unless he wets the bed I cant see why he would need more than one for a weekend) £8.

Socks between £4-5 a set.

Boys boxers £4 a set.

Boys jeans. A pair of Asd* cheapies £5

Boys sweat top. Maybe 2 at £7 each.

Honestly, i'd rather buy a set than fall out with an ex over something so petty.

That works both ways though, surely?

I posted on the other thread about clothes that have gone missing and that was the tipping point of a long drawn out situation of my son going to his father's in smart clothing that fit him with a bag full of the same and coming back dressed as a neglected scarecrow that had had a growth spurt, bagless. At one point his father had half a dozen outfits I'd bought at his house, not including pyjamas, swimming gear, slippers etc. I don't have a lot of weekend clothing for my son as he is in school uniform and then tracksuit bottoms/shorts and t-shirts at night so I know what *should* be in his wardrobe and it was half bare.

I just wasn't prepared to throw good money after bad and I now send him in alternate cheap outfits and in a coat I got on a glitch from here for £8, the only thing I send him in that he would actually wear at my house everyday is his shoes. No spares, not any more.

Wilma33

I find it incredibly sad that any parent would make their child change their clothes just so they were wearing "the right parents" clothes The clothes belong to the child, not the parent. The child should be able to wear any of their clothes at either house.