Who provides the children's clothes at the non residential parents home?

minimoneysaver

I am surprised that these children don't have a set of PJs, slippers and dressing gowns at their 'other' home. My daughter goes to her grandparents about once a month (with me) and we both have a full set of nightwear, spare underwear, socks etc and toiletries there.

She also has some books, toys, DVDs and a couple of teddies there too. It makes it feel more homely for both of us and is much more convenient.

pinkshoes

I asked a pupil at school what happened to her school shoes and she said they'd split.

The poor girl was dreading asking her divorced parents for new ones as she said it would start a slanging match over who had to pay for them. She was planning on selling something to buy some herself.

It's a shame when adults who clearly loved each other at some point can't have a civil conversation about their own child.

fluffnutter

iammumtoone wrote: »

I don't see where the issue of the childs welfare comes into it, I do not talk about issues like this in front of him so how is it effecting his welfare?

It does annoy me a bit that his father pays me a fraction of what he should and doesn't even spend the extra on his son. Yes he feeds him but that is all he does do, he rarely takes him anywhere he has to pay for anything, doesn't buy him any toy or clothes (including nothing at birthdays and christmas), never taken him on holiday (but is planning to go away his self) But my sons knows none of this, he never will, I am hoping as he gets older his father will maybe spend a bit more and treat him a bit as I can't afford to so he misses out (its not as his father can't afford it, he certainly can). All my sons clothes come from charity shops (not that there is anything wrong in that) but it would be nice if he could go into a shop and pick out an item of clothing he wanted.

Why on earth do you think I'm talking about you? I was actually thinking about the thread you mentioned in your opening post but why start a thread asking for opinions then get your kacks in a tangle when someone voices theirs? Are you so self-absorbed that you think every passing comment is aimed at you?

I'll tell you something though: I bet your son knows full well how much your ex annoys you - or he will do once he's a bit older. Kids aren't stupid.

gunsandbanjos

iammumtoone wrote: »

When my ex moved out he took all the furniture he had purchased with him (fair enough) but as this included the furniture in my sons room (ex paid for it). He took that as well

Wow, are your ex and mine the same guy?
Mine wanted everything he had ever given me in the course of our 10 year relationship returned and took everything he ever bought out the flat, he even arranged for the fridge to be given to charity. He didn't want it but because he bought it he didn't want me (and our child) to have it.
I wouldn't have minded at all if he needed the stuff to kit out a new flat as obviously he was the one moving out, but he was purely doing it so I didn't have it.

And let's not forget the £10k or so he owes me:mad:

iammumtoone

fluffnutter wrote: »

Why on earth do you think I'm talking about you? I was actually thinking about the thread you mentioned in your opening post but why start a thread asking for opinions then get your kacks in a tangle when someone voices theirs? Are you so self-absorbed that you think every passing comment is aimed at you?

I'll tell you something though: I bet your son knows full well how much your ex annoys you - or he will do once he's a bit older. Kids aren't stupid.

I didn't think your post was aimed directly at just myself, but wanted to make the point that a child's welfare does not necessarily suffer due to the fact parents are separated. In an ideal world all separated parents would get on well, but that does not often happen, but I would guess nearly all (there are always exceptions) of those who don't get on do not air their differences/issues in front of the children.

I was not directly responding to you but to the issue of 'child welfare' if I was directly responding to you I would have quoted your post as you have done mine in your response to me.

olibrofiz

victory wrote: »

You just reminded me, years ago my neighbour whilst her husband was at work, hired a day van and got some people to help her take out all the furniture, clothes, kitchen items etc out of the house...
the husband returned from work to...absolutely nothing, not even a knife or fork or a small TV , nothing, I remember him running out the house screaming and when some neighbours said it had been his wife, he cried, she left him and took the lot, definetly not fair:eek:

??? I did this. Got a friend with a van to help me move out the F/F, W/M, bed, bedroom furniture, clothes, kitchen items .... I had actually bought and paid for them all before we got the house/togetjer. He paid for nothing. Can't see the problem? He'd run up so many debts, jointly, that I had to sell everything to get me out of the mess. I left the cooker tho, and crockery/knives & forks. He didn't cry, just drank himself into oblivion - oh, and wrote off the car I paid for, when he was hammered.... Don't pity the bloke you mention, nothings black and white.

I digress - over the years DD has gone to her dads on a regular basis, with a suitcase containing what she needed. Some clothes have come back, some haven't. As she's got older he's bought her some that either stays there or comes back. There have been periods when he's deducted what he's bought from the maintenance. IME just got to go with it really.

DD took things she wanted to take, if they didn't come back she did without them. I;ve never made a fuss about it, or said anything. She's worked things out on her own.

shoe*diva79

I don't send any clothes with my daughter other then what she is wearing when she visits her father. I used to until clothing came home ruined and in one case with mould on!!! I was livid. I cant afford to keep replacing clothes unfit to wear after one weekend with him.

She now goes wearing cheapie clothes and returns wearing them 2 days later. He went shopping for her clothes at his house.

SingleSue

I buy all the clothes for the boys, all the shoes, all the uniform etc.

Mind you, I don't have to worry about clothes going missing as he doesn't see them bar two hours a year (his choice!)

Tiglath

When my stepkids were young, both parents provided clothes - it wasn't an issue except right at the beginning when their Mum would send them in ragged too-small clothes and we'd have to buy more. She stopped doing that after a while, and it all worked out.

duchy

Another spin on seperated parents and clothes

My friend's grandchilden the moment they arrive at their father's are sent to to change into clothes HE has bought them ,,,,,,, just before they leave they are sent up to change back into "home" clothes so the clothes the Dad bought don't leave.

Their mother dresses them very well and this started as soon as they went to stay with him after the parents split -no history of clothes not coming back for there to be a reason to do it.

I find this seriously weird.