Who provides the children's clothes at the non residential parents home?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

When kids grow so quickly, it's silly to have loads of pretty much unworn clothes languishing at the NRP's home.

But DD2 has some clothes here, because I get her stuff that her Dad doesn't and she has to make her own way home by bus, so doesn't always want to carry it all. Nothing more than T shirts and a couple of jumpers, though. If there's anything else she 'needs', odds are that she'll raid my wardrobe for it.

Tenyearstogo

My ex pays maintenance and has our son two nights a fortnight.

I buy all our son's school uniform and casual clothes. The only exception to this is if he is out with his Step mum sees something she think he'd like and she would buy him that as a present rather than a need.

I was asked to send his smart clothes one weekend when they had been invited to a party. He didn't have any smart clothes at that time as he'd outgrown his last smart outfit and hadn't needed one since. I did explain that and they bought him something.

daisiegg

My husband's daughter brings her clothes with her and takes them away again. They might have been bought by her mum, by my husband, by me, or by herself (she is an older teenager now). If she is here for longer than a weekend I will try and wash as many of her clothes as possible so she isn't going back to her mum with a bag of dirty washing. She has never kept clothes here. We have toiletries here for her in her bathroom, a hair dryer for her, a laptop etc, so all she really needs to bring are clothes. But no, it has never occurred to anyone for her to keep clothes here, and I don't think she would want to. She has drawers and a wardrobe in her room that she could keep things in if she wanted to.

When we buy her clothes (which is frequently) we don't insist she keeps them at our house so why should her mum insist the clothes she buys get kept at home? It would be bizarre.

Frith

I have to make sure my sons go to their father's in "second best clothes" because he always keeps those clothes and sends them back in tat. (And by tat, I mean 4-5 years too small, dirty, ripped and, on one occasion, a diamante studded GIRL'S cardie!!) He must go to the charity shops once a year and just pull stuff from the shelves.

Whenever I have a clear out, I send a bag of stuff to him so at least I know they have t shirts that fit and worn but useable pyjamas.

He went through a couple of years of carrying them out to the car then refusing to let me have their shoes. Which was a pain on the occasions when I lost £35 school shoes. Luckily they are too big to carry now.

To my knowledge he has never bought them anything new (or nice) or has never bought a single bit of school uniform or equipment.

Victory - my ex husband hired a van and cleared our house (now my house!) completely when my sons and I were hiding from him in a women's refuge. He even took my clothes and really irritating things like all the pillows. And all sons clothes and toys.

Kaz2904

Frith, no offence but your ex sounds like a complete berk.

I would think that kids should take the clothes with them and bring them back with them again. Same as if they were going to a grandparents for an evening.
DD once had a friend playing over and they had brought a change of clothes. Unthinkingly, I went into DD's bedroom, gathered up all the uniform from the floor and washed it. Luckily the Mum understood when I handed it back later that evening and dry .

Funky_Bold_Ribena

We bought loads of clothes for DSD and they would all make their way to her mum's. It's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other...

Just_Plain_Jane

Clothes are just another issue over which my attention seeking, manipulating pr!ck of an ex likes to try to get at me for having the cheek to divorce him.

I used to provide the kids with clothes to take with them to his place, but when he got a new (jealous rottweiler type) girlfriend who joins him in trying to needle me, I noticed they were coming back unworn.

Apparently this is because she says I don't wash them properly/they're not the right size/they're worn out or in some other way substandard. She's a chav type who thinks dressing a child in clothes from a charity shop is tantamount to child abuse.

I should mention that he's never paid a penny maintenance, but feels justified in this as he buys her 'decent' clothes to wear at his house. If anything he's bought does slip through the net and arrive here, he bombards me with texts until I return the item. It's pathetic.

Humphrey10

I voted based on my experience as a child - my sister and I lived with our mum, and saw our dad weekly and stayed over fortnightly. I don't remember ever going shopping for clothes or being bought clothes by my dad - I don't think either me or my sister would have trusted his fashion advice!

It would seem very wasteful to leave clothes somewhere where they won't be worn often. It's much simpler and cheaper just to take a suitcase with the children to the non-resident parent and bring it back (with the same clothes in, dirty - a couple of days worth of clothes doesn't make a washing machine load) when the children come back.

My sister and I were both at least junior primary school age at this time though, it might be different if the children are younger and keep getting clothes dirty, spilling things, etc.

fluffnutter

I don't think the one precludes the other. If my husband and I ever split up, no doubt he'd have some clothes at 'his' for our kids, but that wouldn't mean I wouldn't drop the kids off with some of their clothes they have at 'mine'. Whatever.

The idea that there need to be two separate wardrobes or, worse, that the parent with residency sends the kid to dad's (or mum's) with spare clothes and then comes and moans about it on the internet just smacks of two people who are prioritising their own egos over their children's welfare.

iammumtoone

I don't see where the issue of the childs welfare comes into it, I do not talk about issues like this in front of him so how is it effecting his welfare?

It does annoy me a bit that his father pays me a fraction of what he should and doesn't even spend the extra on his son. Yes he feeds him but that is all he does do, he rarely takes him anywhere he has to pay for anything, doesn't buy him any toy or clothes (including nothing at birthdays and christmas), never taken him on holiday (but is planning to go away his self) But my sons knows none of this, he never will, I am hoping as he gets older his father will maybe spend a bit more and treat him a bit as I can't afford to so he misses out (its not as his father can't afford it, he certainly can). All my sons clothes come from charity shops (not that there is anything wrong in that) but it would be nice if he could go into a shop and pick out an item of clothing he wanted.