Who provides the children's clothes at the non residential parents home?

iammumtoone

duchy wrote: »

Another spin on seperated parents and clothes

My friend's grandchilden the moment they arrive at their father's are sent to to change into clothes HE has bought them ,,,,,,, just before they leave they are sent up to change back into "home" clothes so the clothes the Dad bought don't leave.

Their mother dresses them very well and this started as soon as they went to stay with him after the parents split -no history of clothes not coming back for there to be a reason to do it.

I find this seriously weird.

That raises a good point, that is not right for the child, if that is going to happen then however much it annoys the PWC then they should provide all the clothes for the sake of the child. I am not saying if this case the WPC wouldn't be prepared to do that its the NRP thats being unreasonable.

ttc39

My husbands children change as soon as they get to ours. And then return in the clothes they came in.

This wasn't always the case but we found they arrived in dirty poor fitting clothes and no matter what we bought it never came back - so sadly we had no option.

The boy is older now and he can be relied on now to bring back items if he really wants to take home but the sd is too young to be able to do that at moment, when she is , she will be allowed to take stuff back to her mums .

dibuzz

It's all quite sad really isnt it?
I always sent my kids with enough clothes for how ever long they were staying but was usually just overnight. I even had to send their toothbrushes then when he forgot to send them back I had to buy more which annoyed me as they were electric ones.
Sometimes things would go missing for weeks and nothing was ever washed.
He did moan once because he was taking them to a family party and expected me to buy them all party clothes which I refused to do. If it had been nearer Christmas it would have been ok but I wasn't buying 4 sets of clothes that would probably only be worn once.

System

iammumtoone wrote: »

When my ex moved out he took all the furniture he had purchased with him (fair enough) but as this included the furniture in my sons room (ex paid for it). He took that as well

he ought to be ashamed of himself!:mad:

I must admit if I had got a stepchild and it came to me in rags theres no way I would put up with that. I'd buy it a few sets of clothes he/she could wear when he/she is with me and the clothes they came in would be washed for them to wear when they go back to their Mother. No way would I send them back in what i'd bought. Unfortunately, I have standards even if the childs Mother hadn't.

anderson8

My stepson comes to us every second weekend, he has his own room with a set of drawers that have a good few sets of clothes.
I wouldn't expect his mum to put together a bag of clothes for him when he's here. Also he takes whatever we buy to his mums house if he's wearing it.
There's no his clothes when he's here or there, just his clothese full stop

duchy

iammumtoone wrote: »

That raises a good point, that is not right for the child, if that is going to happen then however much it annoys the PWC then they should provide all the clothes for the sake of the child. I am not saying if this case the WPC wouldn't be prepared to do that its the NRP thats being unreasonable.

You've missed the point the NRP refuses to allow the children to wear their "home" clothes when they are with him. Even if they are happy with what they are wearing when they arrive-he insists they change. It would not matter how many clothes the parent with care provided -they wouldn't be permitted to wear them.
Like I said-seriously weird.

duchy

anderson8 wrote: »

My stepson comes to us every second weekend, he has his own room with a set of drawers that have a good few sets of clothes.
I wouldn't expect his mum to put together a bag of clothes for him when he's here. Also he takes whatever we buy to his mums house if he's wearing it.
There's no his clothes when he's here or there, just his clothese full stop

This to me is the crux of the matter.
Too many parents appear to be using clothes as a weapon.
They are not the clothes bought by Mum or by Dad....they are clothes bought FOR the child -end of.

System

Too many parents appear to be using clothes as a weapon.

Well I don't understand why. I don't see why the resident parent cant buy them out of the maintenance they receive but even so.... what parent would begrudge buying a few bits and pieces for the times they come to stay? Its not really worth arguing about. To be honest, i'd love to go clothes shopping for a little one.

iammumtoone

Judi wrote: »

Well I don't understand why. I don't see why the resident parent cant buy them out of the maintenance they receive but even so.... what parent would begrudge buying a few bits and pieces for the times they come to stay? Its not really worth arguing about. To be honest, i'd love to go clothes shopping for a little one.

That is the problem both parents see it as an inconvenience, the PWC doesn't have the financial cost as they have clothes anyway, but do have the inconvenience of every week/two weeks having to sort and pack a suitcase. The NRP just sees it as an expensive. Ideally some sort of compromise would be good the NRP keeps a separate set of nightclothes/underwear/socks and one set of spare clothes for emergencys at theirs (saving the PWC some of the packaging) and the days clothes needed get sent every time. I wouldn't dream of asking ex to have coats / shoes etc at his,
these are expensive and a child certainly doesn't need two sets, but personally I can't see the issue in spending out on a few night bits, underwear and one cheap set of clothes as a spare if needed (I have to pack extra to what is needed for the weekend just in case he has a accident / gets a set dirty).

System

I still don't think its worth arguing about.

Just looked at Asd* online. 1 set of pyjamas for an overnight stay (unless he wets the bed I cant see why he would need more than one for a weekend) £8.

Socks between £4-5 a set.

Boys boxers £4 a set.

Boys jeans. A pair of Asd* cheapies £5

Boys sweat top. Maybe 2 at £7 each.

Honestly, i'd rather buy a set than fall out with an ex over something so petty.