Too soon to have a baby?

krlyr

Dunroamin wrote: »

Would you think it too soon to get married? If the answer is "yes" then it's way too soon to consider having a baby. If the answer is "no", why not be traditional and get married first?

Depends on your view on marriage. I intend to be with OH forever, but I'm not going to marry him (it's not as if I hate marriage but I'm so not fussed about it!). We don't want kids either, but if we did then that might not necessarily go hand-in-hand with marriage, dependant on your views.

con1888

krlyr wrote: »

Depends on your view on marriage. I intend to be with OH forever, but I'm not going to marry him (it's not as if I hate marriage but I'm so not fussed about it!). We don't want kids either, but if we did then that might not necessarily go hand-in-hand with marriage, dependant on your views.

^^^

Agree with this, OH and I aren't married, don't plan on it anytime soon but are happily settled, have a home,car, pets and now a baby on the way. I have mixed views on marraige, in principal I think it's nice but 'nice' isn't reason enough to me. I know people say you do it for love but I don't need a peice of paper and thousands of pounds to show my love.

Plus OH's surname I don't like

Person_one

Marriage is not just a piece of paper!

Its a really powerful legal document, nothing at all to do with love, and all to do with your rights and responsibilities towards each other.

You don't have to change your name either if you don't want to.

Netwizard

I'd say its too soon, and if you have to ask on the internet, its certainly too soon!

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Marriage is not just a piece of paper!

Its a really powerful legal document, nothing at all to do with love, and all to do with your rights and responsibilities towards each other.

You don't have to change your name either if you don't want to.

And neither do you have to spend thousands of pounds to get married!

stir_crazy

Netwizard wrote: »

I'd say its too soon, and if you have to ask on the internet, its certainly too soon!

^^^ This. If you can't weigh the pros and cons between you and have to ask the advice of strangers then you probably aren't ready for a child.

Guest101

Id say no, i got with my partner end of 2010, and we were expecting in March 2011. We're still together now, and despite little arguments (and some big ones) we're still going strong.

catkins

I speak as someone who got married 5 1/2 months after meeting OH and still going strong over 30 years later. We would never have had children that quick though. We discussed having children and decided not to but, if we had decided to have children we would have waited at least a couple of years.

Yes, it can work, but often it doesn't. I know quite a lot of couples who had a baby very soon after meeting and most of them are not together any more. Also look at how many celebrity couples get together and have a baby almost immediately and then split.

I know I don't speak as someone who has children but I have enough friends, relatives, work colleagues etc with children to know that they can put a strain on even the happiest of relationships. I think at the beginning of a relationship it's nice to take time to really get to know each other and have some fun

Errata

If you have to take advice from a random group of strangers you're most definitely not ready to be responsible for a baby.

aileth

Up to you. Depends what you want to do in life, whether you want to risk having a life-long commitment with someone who you barely know (lets be honest).

As Errata says, if you are having to ask the internet if you're ready for a baby, I'd be a bit worried.