Too soon to have a baby?

Dunroamin

Would you think it too soon to get married? If the answer is "yes" then it's way too soon to consider having a baby. If the answer is "no", why not be traditional and get married first?

ERICS_MUM

lostinrates wrote: »

How old are you? What are your respective employment status and career goals and life ambitions? How disparate are your views on finance, education, politics, moving, family, adventure, religion, and the ten things off that list that are most important to you? How long have you lived together? Have you survived a row were you both said sorry? Have you both had a big gift celebration seeing how well you know each other? .....

good advice. Personally I've always held that love "alone" really is not enough to sustain a long-term relationship and family. The things listed above take time to "work out" - what you agree on, disagree on, what you can live with, what would be a deal-breaker etc.

Having said that I imagine most people have married and/or had a family without really bottoming out their respective outlooks on life.

The other thing (and this really does sound odd) - do you know enough about his/his family's medical history, to reduce the possibility of the baby inheriting genetic issues ?

Apols if I'm "OTT", I tend to over-analyse !

22cuddles

I would say probably too soon to actually think about actually getting pregnant now but not necessarily too early to think about whether you could potentially have a baby at some point. I've only been with my OH for a similar amount of time and I have thought about whether we might go on to have children in the future. We're both in our 30s and although it's early days for us, I don't have the luxury of time that someone younger might have when thinking about potential future children. Having said that I wouldn't really be thinking about actually doing anything about it for another couple of years.

mum2one

double_mummy wrote: »

i was pregnant within a month of being with OH but we had been very close friends for 3 years before that and we seem to be going strong i think it is all about how well you know each other how comfortable you are with each other not how long you have been together

Pleased it worked out, I was similiar that was pregnant within the month, but we split up when I was 7 mths gone........

Kynthia

Some couples have had children quickly and been very happy but many don't. As you have a choice, wait until you've built a solid foundation to your relationship before you strain it. Many say that the first year of your baby's life is the most stressful for a couple.

quintwins

I was pregnant by the time me and oh hit the 7 month mark. That was nearly 8 years ago and we're still going strong. However we have discussed this and do feel we were very foolish and have been very lucky it worked out so well for us. However it can be done....oh and we're still in the honeymoon period, some couples never lose that, we drive our friends and family up the walls lol.

fawd1

Dunroamin wrote: »

Would you think it too soon to get married? If the answer is "yes" then it's way too soon to consider having a baby. If the answer is "no", why not be traditional and get married first?

Really really agree with this. The fact is that if you're not willing to marry them, don't even contemplate having a baby together. A marriage can be dissolved and if there are no children, you need never see each other again. However, once you have children, that's it, you will be in each others lives for ever. If forever sounds like a bit much at the moment, then you're not ready for children with each other.

inkie

Yes, too soon. You've not even been together the length of a full term pregnancy yet.

Brallaqueen

My sister got pregnant one month in to a relationship. They are still together (just, divorce proceedings were started but then she fell pregnant again so...) for the child/ren but its a crap relationship all round. Wouldn't recommend.

double_mummy

mum2one wrote: »

Pleased it worked out, I was similiar that was pregnant within the month, but we split up when I was 7 mths gone........

so sorry it didnt work out for you i think it is because we were so close for years before we became a couple