First date- who pay's?

stir_crazy

My first date with my now DH was in his local, we met for drinks. He bought me the first drink but then we took it turn about. For our second "date", he cooked me dinner because I had an hour's break from work.

heartbreak_star

Judi wrote: »

I wouldn't ask a man out on a date

Why not? Just curious

HBS x

stir_crazy

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Why not? Just curious

HBS x

I couldn't either

Just because I'm extrememly shy.

SailorSam

stir_crazy wrote: »

I couldn't either

Just because I'm extrememly shy.

But many men are just as shy, try and imagine what it's like for us.

heartbreak_star

stir_crazy wrote: »

I couldn't either

Just because I'm extrememly shy.

Aw bless you! Mind you, I'm sure fellas get shy too

HBS x

EDIT: Cross-posted!

Prothet_of_Doom

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

I personally would always offer to pay for half of the meal but if my date expected me to pay the whole lot, it would seriously put me off. However, if he offered to pay then I would accept. Does that make me a hypocrite?..

Yes. Total Hypocrite. :rotfl:

But then what is a woman to do in this post feminist, world ?

You can't have equality, and refuse to be equal.

You SHOULD both offer to pay the whole Bill, but both expect to have a "no no no I insist" conversation where you both agree to either pay half, or one to pay this time, but only if the other is telling them that they will pay next time.

If he's not offering to pay the whole bill, you should pay it, commenting that it's his turn next time.

He'll think he's in with a chance of a second date, and then you'll be able to see how generous / frivilous he is by where he wants to go when it's his turn.

SailorSam

Thinking about it, perhaps i should become less traditional and except the fact that it's 2013 and women have their own money. I'd still prefer that i paid for a first date when we may meet for a quick coffee, then she can pay for the next date when we go to a posh restaurant.
Is that more fair ?

BugglyB

For me if I didn't like him/wasn't planning on seeing him again I woudl insist on paying half.

If I did want to see him again I would offer to pay half but let him pay if he insisted, on the condition that I am allowed to buy any drinks we go on for later or buy the next meal we go out for. And then make sure I did.

Being 'wined and dined' is a pile of crap. Treating someone special is not about money.

Gavin83

Whoever does the asking should pay, or it should be split 50/50. If a woman asked me out on a date and then insisted I paid I'd be gobsmacked and very much doubt I'd bother seeing her again.

As for my dating ratio, it's probably about 50/50 as to me asking a woman out and a woman asking me out. I think it's a fairly equal society these days, I see nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date and I see it happening quite often.

I've also been in the situation of a woman fishing for a date but to be honest if she's that keen she can ask me herself, I can't be bothered playing games.

System

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Why not? Just curious

HBS x

I'm just terribly old fashioned. I'd rather the man make the first move.