Brother borrowed 20k without consent

Clive_Woody

NANANINANOONOO wrote: »

Saw lovely lady with dad yesterday who is now dealing with his case. I feel heartbroken & still cannot sleep but have some relief that this is out of our hands. I am fearful of what lays ahead & want so desperately for there to be a reasonable explanation for my brothers actions yet I know there can be nothing excuseable, I so want him to be that man I thought he was & love.

Like many on here I have known what it is like to struggle with debt albeit due to illness & unfortunate circumstances beyond our control, my husband & I have also struggled with unbearable tragedy & grief that will never leave us so I do know what its like to feel utter despair. My brother father & I are a close loving supportive family who have never ever fallen out so I cannot comprehend how/why this has happened no matter how desperate he may have felt.

Thank you for your words of support x

Money can tear families apart, it does things that make no sense to anybody and sadly you have seen this first hand.

I know it is easy for me to say but try not to feel angry or sad, treat every day as a gift and enjoy it. There are many things you can do without spending lots of money, I am sure your dad really appreciates the time you get to spend with him, be positive around him and you will both start feeling better.

You now have somebody else to help with this, let them take this burden on and you take a step back. Your health (and that of your dad) is worth more than any money.

Take care

NANANINANOONOO

Oh dear & still this uncertainty goes on...

On tuesday dad plucked up the courage to see someone from the Soc.Serv. safeguarding the elderly team & realised reporting to police was his only option so this was set in motion by them as an urgent report to the police. Since tuesday dad has been anxiously awaiting a call from the police or someone to arrange an interview to make a statement or something but nothing! Dont get me wrong I dont expect the police to jump into action as I doubt my fathers plight will be considered important in the scheme of things but it took a lot of courage for him to make the decision to report his son & he is carrying a lot of guilt about what may lie ahead for my brother albeit unjustified guilt in most peoples eyes. I dont know what the police call urgent but they have all the evidence we have gathered already which we handed to social services :0(

It is unlikely now that dad will hear anything until after Monday at the earliest and now on top of the distress of the evidence unfolding he is anxiously awaiting the police interview and the possible family fallout that will ensue. The police are supposed to be arranging all contact with my dad through me because dad is desperate that his 94 year old partner does not learn of this issue as she is already frail. Unfortunately in view of all the mistakes the bank have made like sending his new bank cards to my brother address etc., he fears the police will just turn up at his door!

This huge nightmare is neverending, I thought I would feel some relief after handing things over to authorities but instead the uncertainty drags on. My poor dad is getting progressivly worse and his mood is now understandably quite grumpy where he is so stressed, I know this is impacting on his home life with his partner which is unfair on her.

Sorry I can sleep & have been up since 4 again so just had to have a moan!

CKhalvashi

I think I replied earlier in the thread, but have just re-read, and I do understand you're going through a difficult time.

In our local police force (until the PCC's were elected), it would have been dealt with within 5 working days, however this isn't urgent for police, and will be dealt with in due course.

I can't offer any further advice, however please do come online, and we will try to help you. If you need help getting to sleep, try a cup of something hot (and drink while it's hot), then lie in bed with eyes closed. You should be able to drop off as you cool down. This is advice for your father, if he needs it, too.

It will get better I promise you!

CK

m3kx

I have no advice but I just wanted to send you and your dad my sympathy and support. You are doing such a wonderful job helping him, especially after the pain of his son going behind his back. I would imagine your dad must feel better knowing you are there for him.

I really hope things start to go your way soon, and that the police contact your dad! I can so understand him being on edge waiting for that important call, more so when he took such a big step to speak with them.

Take care xxxx

dancingfairy

Can you pre arrange a time/date with them? Alternatively would they take one if you and your dad went down the police station?
Other things that have occurred to me in terms of protecting your dad further in the future:
1) get hold of you dads credit report from all 3 agencies so you can see the true extent of the problem
2) consider putting a CIFAS marker on his credit file (ie a password) so that if any further credit is applied for further checks will be required and they will ask for the password( which your brother won't have).

Take Care
df

smitchy73

I've just found this thread, and I'm deeply shocked that a son would do something like this, regardless of his own financial problems, I know people bury their heads in the sand in regards to debts, I know I did, my parents, grandparents didn't have any money so I couldn't turn to the bank of mum and dad, so had to face it which I did.
I'm not sure the Police will do much, I hate to say it, although there could be acts of fraud if he opened bank accounts and forged his signature on the online bank accounts, but this could also prove to be hard to prove as well, as most people know if you have your accounts with a bank, it's easy to set up your online and telephone banking, and with having all the access details at hand your brother could easily pretend to be your dad either on the phone or on the internet.
I personally think that shaming your brother, with his wife/partner and their kids present and telling them all that this has to be dealt with, there will be mis-trust among everyone but if you have the facts then no one can argue with them, they might not like it, but it will be the facts, and the reason's for this would be to relay to the kids, (who most likely is the main reason your brother has accrued his debts, and or a shopaholic wife) they need to know that their comfortable existence is coming to an end and they need to repay some money to your dad, their grandpa, to try and let him build up some his savings again.
I do hope that this gets sorted, although I don't think anything will be the same again.

Gentoo365

Have you had any legal advice regarding whether or not the bank is in any way liable for assisting the (unlawful) transfer of the funds from the shares?

i.e. in regard to this bit:

Dad rang up about his shares and was told that the £20,000 he believed he still had was cashed in April 2011 & paid directly into his current account. On checking with his bank it seems this money in two lots of £10,000 were transferred into my brothers bank account soon after.

Long shot I know.

NANANINANOONOO

We have changed all dads current cards & passwords so all his accounts are secure from my brother albeit the accounts are empty anyway.

We have reams of backdated statements, copies of all correspondence and recordings of calls so plenty of evidence to get Police started but of course they will have far more access to where the money actually went once my brother transfered it to himself to prove it was not used in the interest of my father.

The idea of going through Soc Sev is because they work hand in hand with police to safeguard my father throughout everything as it moves forward. The interviews with Police and Soc.Serv. will take place at my house so my dad is under the least stress but I am unsure if this is what is causing delays. I feel if we had rung the police ourselves it still would have taken time to organise whilst it is passed through various police sections as they probably have specific departments/officers that deal with these cases.

As with most things the weekend was looming so I would imagine everyone pospones stuff until a fresh start Monday but sadly this is not helpful to my dad and his anxiety. He is really worrying that my brother may become depressed about his own situation especially as he will have lost the cash flow of my dads pension which he would have known was due last week & may have at least been planning to hold the wolf from the door for himself but now his cover is blown he may have no available monies.

It may seem strange my dad is showing so much concern about a person who has had no thought for anyone else but you hear of people topping themselves under money pressures & dad is fearfull he will be responsible for pushing his son into an impossible situation. Dad has just rang me because he heard on the news a man was last seen walking into the sea & is still missing which sadly is not helpful for dads current mindset

Liliyanna

Please ring the police now, tell them the problem and ask for a visit at your house. Most forces these days have a diary appointment system for none emergency matters and will be able to give you a time slot.

I have dealt with Soc Ser in my professional life many times, they are very good at what they do but it's my experience that anything that needs actioning urgently on a Friday will always be there still waiting on Monday. I think the hand over from the day team to the out of hours team is the weak link, I feel they have very different ideas of what is urgent hence the delay.

Ask the police to come to you address and deal with it there, then on Monday update the relevant Soc Ser team of the development and all should be ok. The police may have a delay due to it being the weekend and there are a lot of drink related issues ongoing but if you call early enough you should get seen before the serious drinkers are out of bed and causing trouble

Fingers crossed for you both

Lily x x

Caroline_a

I would escalate this. Some years ago we had problems locally with vandalism to cars. We would (eventually) get a PC round who obviously didn't want to be there as he had better things to do. It came to a head when all wing mirrors were smashed in one night along the street - mine were 'clever' ones so cost over £300 to replace each one. As it happens I got a flyer through the door the same week purporting to be from the Chief Constable about how his door was always open.

So I emailed him. Told him in quite a light-hearted way that I wasn't overly happy about the way this was being handled. I received a personal response immediately, followed by several visits by senior officers. Since then we have had our street regularly patrolled.

It's very important to you - they dont consider it important to them. Make them sit up and take notice - you should be able to find contact details for your local Chief Constable. Contact him, make him listen, and things will happen.