Brother borrowed 20k without consent

girlatplay

Hi Nana. I have also followed this thread from the beginning. I feel devastated for your father and also for you, finding out the brother that you have loved all of your life could do this to your dad. Your family unit has been completely destroyed and I feel so upset for you both. My Grandad (God rest his soul) was elderly and reasonably wealthy and I couldn't have imagined someone doing that to him. I haven't contributed before as I haven't had anything that I thought would help.

I just want to say that I think RuthnJasper's idea of the book is a good one. Once your dad has had some time and some support from his GP and possibly from charities that deal with and help/support the elderly, he might want to put it out there.

It is a very good idea to let your brother sweat. How dare he cause all that devastation and then have the nerve to indirectly ask for no more action to be taken. I am so angry and upset for your dad. I would blank the letter completely. Let him sweat forever more.

Massive hugs to you both.

RuthnJasper

Nana - I wonder if you still look at this thread? If so, please could you let us know how you and your Dad are doing? I often think of you and your situation and wonder if you are OK... Bless you sweetie. x

Mojisola

And just so you don't feel alone - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4934929
This son is even worse in that he has left his mother paying interest on a loan!

NANANINANOONOO

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Nana - I wonder if you still look at this thread? If so, please could you let us know how you and your Dad are doing? I often think of you and your situation and wonder if you are OK... Bless you sweetie. x

Thank you for enquiring after dad and myself. No change re my brother and his family who have still not made any contact or shown any interest in dads welfare which disgusts me. Dad is not good he is still very distressed and reliving this nightmare daily, it is hearbreaking to watch this honourable man reduced to feeling so worthless & full of self doubt bless him but his spirit is strong & he determinedly refuses to simply accept what has happened whilst thankfully not allowing it to toally consume him. We have been in contact with other victims and he has had lots of moral support from strangers, also despite having no funds we have now made contact with an excellent solicitor who is offering renewed hope. Dad has endured so many knockbacks so we are still unsure of the final outcome but...watch this space. xxx

RuthnJasper

NANANINANOONOO wrote: »

Thank you for enquiring after dad and myself. No change re my brother and his family who have still not made any contact or shown any interest in dads welfare which disgusts me. Dad is not good he is still very distressed and reliving this nightmare daily, it is hearbreaking to watch this honourable man reduced to feeling so worthless & full of self doubt bless him but his spirit is strong & he determinedly refuses to simply accept what has happened whilst thankfully not allowing it to toally consume him. We have been in contact with other victims and he has had lots of moral support from strangers, also despite having no funds we have now made contact with an excellent solicitor who is offering renewed hope. Dad has endured so many knockbacks so we are still unsure of the final outcome but...watch this space. xxx

Thank you for the update sweetie. Sorry it is not better news, but I am glad that you are your Dad are receiving support. Keep smiling Nana - even if it seems hard sometimes. Right is on your side, and that can count for a lot in the longer term.

Every blessing. xx

debrag

wow just wow! What some people do to their other family members.

A friends sister takes money out of their mothers bank account, the gran-daughter took £500 out once and they never use their own money for their own things, if they need anything "oh mum/grandma let me do your shopping today" - they get the good stuff for themselves but basic for the mother & brother, they even leave it in her fridge/freezer but the mother & brother can't touch it even if there isn't anything else in the house and they have no money for food. The sister is also the 'carer' & gets carers allowance, but goes round only when she wants something (even just a paper) or when there is someone from council checking up on her!

The sister basically has control of her money and they have to ask if they need any. The mother won't do anything even though she now knows what she's like as she knows she'll never see her otherwise.

Last month she had like £200 + her own money, I think to do some shopping but came back from an area she didn't need to go to to do the shopping with nothing for her mother and claimed she was mugged but only for the £200! She really does think everyone is stupid!

KRS291

What a hell of a situation! Obviously, you don't want to see your father going without because of someone else's greed even if it is family. It's clearly theft in essence, I would at least see if you can get your Dad to get the bank involved, they could indicate what could be done. If they have allowed someone other than the Account Holder (your Dad) to withdraw money in person, then they are at fault for not checking his ID, however if he did it all online of by telephone banking with his details, it is still fraud!

Did you father know that your brother was 'taking care' of his banking affairs? If not, you should go to the police. However, you need to make sure you father is on your side, it is after all his choice.

I know what I would do though!!!

terra_ferma

KRS291 wrote: »

Did you father know that your brother was 'taking care' of his banking affairs? If not, you should go to the police. However, you need to make sure you father is on your side, it is after all his choice.

Did you actually read any of the posts a part from the first one?
A lot happened between the OP's first and last post, so your reply comes a bit late...

NANANINANOONOO

This is a very long thread but those who have shared my journey from the start will know we have gone down every avenue imaginable. Above all else my fathers wishes & choices have always been paramount in any assistance & support I have given him and no action has been instigated without him being in total control. However we have learnt some very hard life lessons in that with the best will in the world sadly.... good does not necessarily overcome evil, right does not overcome wrong, truth does not always out no matter how black and white the facts and the law does not protect vulnerable people who place their complete trust in others. Victims of any crime have the biggest fight to prove any kind of wrong doing without a shadow of doubt while the criminal have nothing to lose but sit back and wait to see if they get away with their crime or the victim just gives up under the stress and seemingly endless frustrating knockbacks.

Other victims have encouraged my dad to not give up & I do hope this will have a favourable outcome although there can be no winners in this awful scenario. I really appreciate all the comments and support given on here both from those fully informed and others who have just gleened small parts of dads story. I will keep updating this thread from time to time whatever develops until a conclusion is finally reached. xxx

FireWyrm

This story makes my blood boil. If there was any justice in the world, your brothers' house and any assets would simply be seized and liquidated to pay the debt. If I was his wife, I would divorce the unpleasant so-and-so leaving him to marinate in a hell of his own making. A betrayal of monumental proportions to be sure. I dont really want to even contemplate the distress your father must be feeling, wondering how and where he went so wrong. Your brother is a despicable creature, but your father must have done something right to have at least one of his offspring stand by him so steadfastly.