Brother borrowed 20k without consent

Valli

NANANINANOONOO wrote: »

Thank you for this info...I had never heard of pro bono unit...have checked out the site and will tell dad, it def looks like something worth exploring further depending where he wants to go with things. x

Another option is that, if you are near a University with an attached law school they look for cases for (supervised) students to take on, as Pro Bono.

NANANINANOONOO

Please know I do read everyones responses & have been making a note of all the useful tips & links each of you have given along this journey even if I have not acknowledged all of them individually with a response. Everything has been a great help as well as the overwhelming support I have felt from everyone - I know it means a lot to dad too.

I will continue posting with any updates - thanks x

lemonpopsicle

We are all rooting for you and your dad, it's all so unjust. x

RuthnJasper

lemonpopsicle wrote: »

We are all rooting for you and your dad, it's all so unjust. x

Definitely agree with Lemonpop. It's incredible how strong and "together" you have been with this revolting issue - never descending into rants, profanity or dubious tactics. Much kudos to you Nana; you can sleep with your conscience clear - more than can be said for your parasitic brother...

We're with you 100% of the way and beyond. xxx

ruggedtoast

If I were you I would go to your MP. There isn't realistically another option for you, and it was always going to be next to impossible to prove that the internet accounts were misused.

No news paper is going to print slanderous stories about an individual before a case has gone to court.

This does highlight how vulnerable elderly people can be to bank fraud, and the banks need to make it clear to old people that if they aren't able to log into and monitor their own savings on the internet then an internet account is not suitable for them.

Giving all the passwords and log in details to someone else is, as this has shown, the worst of all worlds.

I wonder how your brother sleeps at night...

NANANINANOONOO

ruggedtoast wrote: »

This does highlight how vulnerable elderly people can be to bank fraud, and the banks need to make it clear to old people that if they aren't able to log into and monitor their own savings on the internet then an internet account is not suitable for them

.

This part is very significant and something dad has been very upset about. He feels there should be more checks on elderly people going online - maybe an alert on age when someone tries to set-up online banking requiring a face to face instruction to ensure the person is capable & fully aware of the pitfalls before they can register for it. I know there will still be elderly people who like my dad would not question their own trust in a loved one but if they are found to be incapable of doing online proceedures themselves they should not be allowed to register online. At least with other banking methods the bank ultimately have some ability & responsibility to monitor transactions & suspicious activity will be flagged up - online they have no responsibility to do this.

I have no techno or business knowledge so maybe that idea is unrealistic :0(

crazy_crow

I am sorry to read your latest updates. I feel so sad for you and your Dad.
It is such a shame that your nephews and nieces have not been in contact. I guess they have been fed a pack of lies by your brother.
I hope your Dad is ok and understands that he did nothing wrong.

NANANINANOONOO

crazy_crow wrote: »

I am sorry to read your latest updates. I feel so sad for you and your Dad.
It is such a shame that your nephews and nieces have not been in contact. I guess they have been fed a pack of lies by your brother.
I hope your Dad is ok and understands that he did nothing wrong.

It is so hard to put into words the hopeless feelings this evokes inside. The deed is done and nothing can change that but to realise my brothers family simply do not care about him has been unbearably sad. Whatever they may have been told, looking back it is very clear my nephews & niece have all benefited from my brothers actions even if they did not realise it at the time so whether they choose to believe their grandads money was taken or gifted, how can they abandon this man (with whom they have always had a very close relationship) without conscience.

This & the fact that the police can do nothing & there is nothing out there for victims of this type of crime has left me totally bewildered & feeling useless, it seems once a case is dropped that is the end of it...the victim is totally on their own. There is no back-up support or anything, not even an organisation that steps in when people are on there own, without me dad is left with no help whatsoever emotionally of otherwise. No wonder elderly people end up on the streets, I am truely not exaggerating...he is so lost inside my dad could so easily have been one of those people on the street had my brother been his only family.

Sadly this leads me to believe that even though the good honest people among our family & friends would be shocked to hear what has happened, life will go on for them & at 85 dads life will not be important to them (not that it should be as people have their own issues in life) but I am not sure he could bear further rejection so it may be that there can be no justice for any of this & no peace for my dad whose spirit is so crushed.

I just feel so unbearable sad, I go to sleep & wake daily with a heavy painful weight in my chest & my head churning with thoughts like a washing machine - I know dad must feel the same. I want so much to help my dad, if nothing else to find him some sort of closure but I have failed him at every turn :0(

Valli

You haven't failed him. He has been failed by the 'system'.

crazy_crow

Please, please don't think you have failed your Dad. There is no way that either of you could have anticipated this betrayal.

You have to wonder what the nephews and niece have been told. Perhaps now that the police action has been stopped they may get in touch. It is still early days.

I understand your hesitation about involving extended family. I could imagine that it would be difficult to get them to fully understand the situation and that they may want to hush the matter up.

I feel so frustrated on your behalf

I don't know if your Dad gets any consolation from the fact that so many of us on this thread have had similar things happen in their own families. My brother-in-law continues to 'manage' my mother-in-laws money even though she acknowledges that he helps himself to whatever is left over at the end of the month. We regularly have to top up her, supposedly, generous pension. It drives me crazy that this is allowed to continue by my husband and his sister. It would be so easy to stop but embarrassment and some sort of strange family loyalty take over. Perhaps you could just send everybody a link to this thread.

I also wanted to say that I am in awe of how well you write. You should write a book about this. It's such a moving story.

I hope you and your Dad know that there are lots of anonymous internet users out here that are wishing you both the very best for the future.