Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Granariesgirl

AlexLK wrote: »

LOL, can I have a sweetie too? :rotfl:

Alright, but only a home-made budget one (or more)!
:money::rotfl:

AlexLK

bess1234 wrote: »

Alex,

You are still talking about yourself as if you are a child. You are a grown man. Mrs K seems to like you when you act like a grown man. If you throw a tantrum for your very expensive sweeties again, accept you messed up, take responsibility and fix it. Don't spend days justifying the need to spend £200 on cr*p for yourself. You need to find 3 months part time nursery fees until the free hours start, because you are a responsible parent.

And go find your mislaid £700 in an old bank account. Only you dear:rotfl: I think there's a guide to old bank accounts somewhere on the main site.

Why can't you run your household budget like your business? Non emotional, objective ,factual?

Message to little green parrot. Thanks. . Reading your post about not thinking just doing, was a giant lightbulb in my head , that I had been talking myself out of excercise for weeks. So I jumped in the car and went swimming, then jumped on my bike to go to an excercise class ,which was full, so I was turned away, but the 5m cycle counts:rotfl: .and non of my fears came true, and I flipping loved it , and have twice as much energy for the rest of my day. Rock n roll.

Talking about myself as a child? The sweeties comment was a joke.

I have been looking into getting back the £700. At the time I didn't really see it as important but now £700 is £700 more than I had yesterday.

In regards to running the household budget like the business, it is because I see the business as something that needs to grow and that will (eventually) give me a future.

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

**hands Alex a sweetie**

Congrats on selling another pen ! I can just see your debt trembling in terror & dissolving like a jelly on a hotplate !!

LOL, and thank you .

Less than two hours until she is back ... why am I just thinking about going to bed and pretending I'm too ill to talk?

LannieDuck wrote: »

I think you need to show Mrs K how serious you are about changing your ways. I understand you can't take the shirt back because you've opened it now, but perhaps you should adopt a 'one-in-one-out' type of approach.

If you buy a new shirt, you have to ebay sufficient old clothes to cover the cost. Given your addiction to shopping, I'm sure you have loads of good quality things you never wear. Have a sort out of your wardrobe and pop the stuff you haven't worn for a year or more on ebay. Good quality branded menswear sells well.

I kind of understand this but re. the old clothes, which are obviously worth less than the new ones, eventually I'll have not enough to sell to cover the costs?

Mrs. K. also has lots of clothes, so does she need to do the same?

AlexLK

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Alright, but only a home-made budget one (or more)!
:money::rotfl:

Home made sweeties, oh yes please.

LannieDuck

AlexLK wrote: »

I kind of understand this but re. the old clothes, which are obviously worth less than the new ones, eventually I'll have not enough to sell to cover the costs?

Well yes, but you don't plan to carry on buying £100+ shirts while you're still in debt... do you?

AlexLK wrote: »

Mrs. K. also has lots of clothes, so does she need to do the same?

I'm not quite clear how far Mrs K is on board with selling her possessions to clear some of the debt. But if she has good clothes with quality labels that she never wears, she might as well get some money for them?

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

Well yes, but you don't plan to carry on buying £100+ shirts while you're still in debt... do you?

Um, must I answer that question?

Seriously, no I don't, I'll be making do with the clothes I have.

LannieDuck wrote: »

I'm not quite clear how far Mrs K is on board with selling her possessions to clear some of the debt. But if she has good clothes with quality labels that she never wears, she might as well get some money for them?

Mrs. K. was going to put some of her jewellery collection up for sale. Neither of us wear cheap clothes, neither did our son but we have decided that he out grows things so quickly that buying cheaper is not really a problem until he gets a bit older. I'm sure she has a lot of things she never wears.

AlexLK

Even though I did something idiotic yesterday, I can feel myself wanting to slip right now, though I won't. Facebook, don't you just hate it when you see people from school posting up photos of their shiny new home that they've built themselves when you live in a modest house or of that £70,000 Porsche when you know you are quite lucky to have your £4,000 Land Rover. All of it just makes me want to flip yet again, buy something I can't afford just to say "yes, I'm no worse than you".

Less than an hour until Mrs. K. returns and I feel sick, not got done what I wanted to and wondering if she's purely coming back to tell me I need to move out. Well and truly beginning to lose it now, even considering a soothing glass of wine (or the whole damn bottle).

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

Facebook, don't you just hate it when you see people from school posting up photos of their shiny new home that they've built themselves when you live in a modest house or of that £70,000 Porsche when you know you are quite lucky to have your £4,000 Land Rover.

No, because chances are they're tumbling into debt to afford them. Again, it's about what things do - that Porsche will get them from A to B exactly the same as your Land Rover, just faster and more expensively. What's the point in it? If someone needs to brag, it says more about them than anyone else.

I drive a beaten-up old Corsa, but it runs quite happily, is economical, and more importantly I OWN IT - why would I want to get a massive loan for a new car that'll do exactly the same thing?

May I ask a question? You say Mrs. K should be selling her stuff too. Does she have the valuable collections you do? Was her jewellery gifts? (I'd feel odd about selling gifts, in a way). You seem very bitter about having to sell your stuff, but you also seem a lot more materialistic than your wife.

Have another good talk to her and bring this up - not in a "I'm selling my stuff so you sell yours too" way, but in a "maybe if we both sold things we could reduce the debt faster" way. Offer to put her things on eBay while you're at home if she sorts them out for selling?

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS - thank you. I am aware I need to calm down. I have done some positive things today . Your post was really helpful, OK I don't know whether they are getting into debt or not but nevertheless it does make things a little easier to bare if I imagine they are.

So far as Mrs. K. goes, she has a lot of jewellery that was mainly bought for her by me. She doesn't really have a lot she bought herself and isn't into collecting. She does like her holidays though .

I am not so much bitter about selling as upset.

heartbreak_star

Problem is she can't sell a holiday haha!

Please try and continue to think of function over anything else - Porsche does same as any other car, just faster and pricier

Have a "good sort out" at some point - both of you. Sort through wardrobes, boxes, anything like that, and see if you can both come up with things to eBay.

If she were to sell the jewellery you gifted to her, would you be hurt? My OH would be.

Good work on today's positivity

HBS x

littlegreenparrot

Bess1234 - I'm so glad you went and did it! The more I think about that sort of stuff, the less likely I am to do anything about it. It can't be about whether I want to, think I have time, have to do something else, whatever. I just have to do it because that is what I do. Well done you :A

Alex
The issue around Mrs K's stuff is tricky. As someone who has been in a similar situation with my partner, I didn't/wouldn't.
If it has been run up without my knowledge, when I havn't benefited from it, I will not help repay. I will be supportive, make suggesstions, be encouraging, but no money. For me it is about taking responsibility for ones actions, and not being taken advantage of. I do not scrimp and save, have two jobs etc for it to be frittered away.
(I know others disagree, and thats fine. Some mental health issues involve periods of significant lack of self control. Someone has to have money left. I learnt a long time ago the only person who will always be there is oneself)