Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Mara_uk7

Morning Alex, Hope the lurgy hasnt hit you too hard today, If youre feeling rough, just take it easy, stay home,chill out ..... Youve been quite full on lately, so why not take the time out to re-evaluate what youre trying to do, Put your earnings into a savings account, watch them grow until you have enough for F&F offers, which, at the rate youre earning & selling, Shouldnt be a long time.
Just stop & think about it. Sometimes life just keeps pushing you forwards and its hard to just say stop, and make plans ..... or is that just me ?

LannieDuck

Hi Alex,

Meant to say last night - well done for not reaching for the wine. Good job

Also, why does your sig still only read £40 paid off? If you've sold two pens, shouldn't it be much higher than that? (Even if you just put the money into a 'debt account' to build up a F&F offer, you can still count it for your sig.) I think it'll really help you to see the fruits of your labour.

debtfreewannabe321

Morning Alex, I hope you manage to make up with Mrs K today. I agree go to a different doctor and get a second opinion. When I was a regular down at mine (also trying to get diagnosed and some help with depression) I went to 4 different dr's before finding one that I liked. She wasn't the one who offered me lots of drugs to make it go away but she was very kind and understanding and talked sense into me when I needed it the most. The one I had first visited was rude and obnoxious, i'm so glad I went back though and found a Dr I liked, I hope you manage to do the same.

I think everyone has already said what needed to be said on the impulse spends. They were big spends for 2 things. I'm sure you're too posh for charity shops but my husband is always in designer gear these days, and for less than a tenner an outfit (thanks to the charity shops!) Many a time have we picked up bargains in there with tags still on for a fraction of what they were originally purchased. I had trouble with impulse spending right before I had my LBM, my dh was in afghan, I had 2 babies and debt collectors on the phone daily. My crutch was going out and spending on a CC and forgetting my troubles for a while. The only way I managed to over come this was by not going into town, ever. Even now 2 and half years on I still avoid town unless I need something. It's a hard habit to break and no matter what any of us tell you, say to you only you can break the habit and you have to be hard on yourself for it to work. I think cold turkey is the best way forward here. I also think that your LB is only flickering at the moment. I think we all have the initial LBM which makes us come to places like MSE, determined and full of enthusiasm, then this very quickly fades as nothing really happens whilst you're setting up repayment plans, saving for f&f's working hard to pay debts etc. I think you need to keep yourself in check when it starts flickering again to keep it bright. So carry on you're doing a good (ish) job and it will get easier if you have the determination to see it through

Granariesgirl

AlexLK wrote: »

They always find something to have a "dig" about, whether it be my choice of attire for the evening or one of her mother's biggest problems is my background - she is very "working class and proud". I can almost guarantee the first thing she'll say to her daughter tomorrow is something along the lines of asking if she'd seen "the toffs" (my parents) at lunch whilst they all laugh in the background and her father moans about "the rich getting richer", "David Cameron" and the "fact" I've been "given everything on a plate".

I always found something along the lines of:
"Would you like some ketchup/ vinegar for it?"
they say "For what" to which you reply with a sweet smile:
"For the (huge) chip on your shoulder, of course!"
The fact that they fall into your trap by not being fast enough to understand the joke & have to ask usually shuts them up...

Once I just got the ketchup out & handed it to the person in question, which produced a surprised gobbling (we were at pudding stage) before I delivered the coup de grace. Thereafter their comments ceased! :rotfl:

AlexLK wrote: »

Her father must ask me every time I see them (if the whole family is there) if I was not good enough to get into Eton / Oxford or if my parents were unable to afford the fees.

"Look <insert Out-law's name>, SURELY you realise that I wasn't posh enough to get into Eton, so how about we drop that tired old joke, eh?"..."
I know it is difficult, but try & treat the whole thing as if it were a very boring, second rate comedy act - which it is...

You really have to pity people who have such low self-esteem that they can only find value in themselves by belittling others - especially as by slagging you off they are de facto insulting their daughter who chose to marry you, forsaking all others.
Perhaps a well thought out ready-made reminder of this might be something to work on & practice in front of a mirror before serving it, cold, when needed...:cool:

AlexLK wrote: »

I've got a couple of hours doing music theory with the "princess" niece before this dinner out ... Really, the niece is not so bad. However, I did spend about four hours making resources for this which irks me slightly, especially when the teacher is put into context (it's the teenager one).

Just remember the MONEY you're squeezing out of your BiL!

AlexLK wrote: »

I appear to be coming down with whatever son has got at the moment so perhaps not at my best at the moment.

I am in bed with the lurgy as I type & it's 'orrible! Hope you escape it.

AlexLK wrote: »

I don't want my son realising he is growing up with a troubled father, that is my motivator in sorting my health and money problems out for the moment.

Unfortunately he WILL realise something's not right, however you try to hide it - kids are REALLY observant... so what you have to do is show him that however big the obstacle(s), it (they) can be overcome.
That way you will teach him the invaluable lesson of: "Tis a lesson you should heed: Try, try, try again. If at first you don't succeed,Try, try, try again."
AND you'll make him prouder of his Dad!

As for the shirt thing... THINK of the wine you could have bought with that!!!:eek:
Next time you're tempted to fall off the wagon, ONLY buy if they give you a 25% discount: either the idea of haggling in a chic boutique will put you off buying or they'll agree & you'll sin-spend a bit less!
But I much prefer these ideas below!

Softlass wrote: »

a picture of Mrs and little K in your wallet that you are forced to look at before you handover and money. That little visual reminder might just be the tool you need to shut your wallet and step away from the spend.

7roland8 wrote: »

a card with the total of your debt on - to remind you how much you still have to pay off?

Keep plugging away at everything & you will get there - look forward & regard every mistake as a learning opportunity.
You CAN do it all & you ARE good enough!:T

Homework for today (should you choose to accept it): find three USEFUL & POSITIVE things you have learnt / absorbed since you started this thread.

AlexLK

In response:

Patanne: Brother-in-law has been round here this morning. It wasn't as horrendous as it usually is but he has told me that Mrs. K. is considering going. She seems quite serious in that they spoke of practical matters regarding whether or not she would be able to afford to take on the mortgage alone etc. should things "not work out to her satisfaction". I think this may be my last chance.

Mara: Morning (or Afternoon, now). Yes I'm not feeling very well. However, life has to go on. Managed to get some work done at home (so son didn't got to parents). Now I'm trying to deal with the debts and shifting what money I've made from selling things away from an account I can easily access. I will add to my paid off figure when done as this may help to keep up some motivation. Whilst we are talking of good news pen man's wife has gave him "permission" to buy the other one, so that's 4 sold.

Lannie: See above, I'm going to change the figure once I make sure I cannot easily get hold of the money.

DFW: Thank you for such an encouraging post, sorry my reply is woeful. However, I'm glad I'm not the only one re. the spending. Yes, I'm going back to eye-candy doctor at some point next week. If you'd seen what was in charity shops round here you'd know , this is Derbyshire which is full of pensioners who keep EVERYTHING for many, many years!

Granaries: You did make me smile re. the in/outlaws!

I really do hope my son won't grow up to be ashamed of me as he is my absolute world at this moment.

I was always a bit of a swat at school so here goes H/W for today (3 positive things learnt / absorbed):

I. Some things that are free / very inexpensive can be fun.

II. Son enjoys going for a walk / swimming more than getting new shiny toys.

III. I actually have a pretty decent marriage when I manage to "behave myself".

Granariesgirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I was always a bit of a swat at school so here goes H/W for today (3 positive things learnt / absorbed):

I. Some things that are free / very inexpensive can be fun.

II. Son enjoys going for a walk / swimming more than getting new shiny toys.

III. I actually have a pretty decent marriage when I manage to "behave myself".

:beer:
Yay! Give that man a gold star!

AlexLK

LOL, can I have a sweetie too? :rotfl:

bess1234_2

Alex,

You are still talking about yourself as if you are a child. You are a grown man. Mrs K seems to like you when you act like a grown man. If you throw a tantrum for your very expensive sweeties again, accept you messed up, take responsibility and fix it. Don't spend days justifying the need to spend £200 on cr*p for yourself. You need to find 3 months part time nursery fees until the free hours start, because you are a responsible parent.

And go find your mislaid £700 in an old bank account. Only you dear:rotfl: I think there's a guide to old bank accounts somewhere on the main site.

Why can't you run your household budget like your business? Non emotional, objective ,factual?

Message to little green parrot. Thanks. . Reading your post about not thinking just doing, was a giant lightbulb in my head , that I had been talking myself out of excercise for weeks. So I jumped in the car and went swimming, then jumped on my bike to go to an excercise class ,which was full, so I was turned away, but the 5m cycle counts:rotfl: .and non of my fears came true, and I flipping loved it , and have twice as much energy for the rest of my day. Rock n roll.

Mara_uk7

**hands Alex a sweetie**

Congrats on selling another pen ! I can just see your debt trembling in terror & dissolving like a jelly on a hotplate !!

LannieDuck

I think you need to show Mrs K how serious you are about changing your ways. I understand you can't take the shirt back because you've opened it now, but perhaps you should adopt a 'one-in-one-out' type of approach.

If you buy a new shirt, you have to ebay sufficient old clothes to cover the cost. Given your addiction to shopping, I'm sure you have loads of good quality things you never wear. Have a sort out of your wardrobe and pop the stuff you haven't worn for a year or more on ebay. Good quality branded menswear sells well.