Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

bess1234_2

£165 for a shirt and a wallet is self indulgence. Indeed you are tripping yourself up now. You only need to pay £40 and £305? You need to pay off £30,000. Go back and read your thread, take the shirt back, and get back to feeling 'better than you have done for years '. It's all your choice and your future. You could just take your sons trust fund to get yourself a new set of clothes .

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

I think you need to be realistic. It's quite obvious to me that you'll struggle not having any free spending money on a monthly basis. I think you might find the whole process easier if you and Mrs K each had, e.g. £50 or £100 per month, that you could spend on what you like.

... but then you'd have to be ruthless with not allowing yourself to go over the monthly limit.

I find having so little to spend on myself nigh on impossible. Even this month I am up to almost £200 and it's not even the end of the month. To be honest, I'm not sure I was realistic in my original SOA when I said I spent about £200 per month on myself, I'm fairly certain as I'm now trying to live frugally it was more.

AlexLK

bess1234 wrote: »

£165 for a shirt and a wallet is self indulgence. Indeed you are tripping yourself up now. You only need to pay £40 and £305? You need to pay off £30,000. Go back and read your thread, take the shirt back, and get back to feeling 'better than you have done for years '. It's all your choice and your future. You could just take your sons trust fund to get yourself a new set of clothes .

"Take my son's trust fund to buy myself new clothes", just what sort of person do you think I am? Of course I wouldn't do something like that.

Yes, I was being self indulgent, "self indulgent" seems to be the story of my life.

7roland8

AlexLK wrote: »

.

Spent £165 on a shirt and a new wallet. OK it's not a fortune but Mrs. K. is not going to be pleased especially as our clothing budget for this month was £0.

If she was anything like me she would be appalled.

Don't even know why we are bothering to respond really when you spend more on an unnecessary shirt than we do on food and petrol for a fortnight.
Also son just starting job and he has to kit himself out with £10 shirts etc.

But we are still making all our credit card payments - even though it takes all of my DLA payments plus we are selling stuff on ebay.

A treat for yourself would be something for a £1 or two - you are just throwing money away and it makes me annoyed even to be reading it now.

littlegreenparrot

Take the shirt back. Should be easy if its in the packing and you have the receipt. Just say it was a pressie for someone and you picked up the wrong size.

I understand the buying buzz, I'm sure it's a lovely shirt, but is it worth having something extra to fret over?
(Your not the only one, apparently my disappointment is the only thing often stopping DH buying stuff.)

Don't go in the shops, (don't know what you miss then) Set a very strict monthly budget, be brighter about finding bargains and needs vs wants

Choose something that works for you, write it down, and stick to it.

Think about how you view your money. Is it just yours? Or the households? Or the banks you owe to? Might be worth splitting it into pots to make that easier to think about.
Very little of mine is mine to do what I want with.

7roland8

AlexLK wrote: »

"Take my son's trust fund to buy myself new clothes", just what sort of person do you think I am? Of course I wouldn't do something like that.

Yes, I was being self indulgent, "self indulgent" seems to be the story of my life.

Actually if you paid your debts off with the money you have (son's fund) then thats exactly what you HAVE done - frittered it away.

You are throwing away more money than we even get a month - and seem to still feel you have an entitlement to spend what you wish - well good luck - but your debt will continue to rise not reduce.

bess1234_2

Ok I'm calmer now. Was last night the night you drank a lot ? Because you are indeed full of self pity and excuses today. Have an early night and hide the shirt. And tomorrow you have to sell £165 of your belongings to pay for it. Then tell mrs k you are dealing with your mistake. Because it takes normal people a lot of effort to get that much cash to spend on themselves. And you are on a normal income. And one day you ll figure that out .

Or you come up with a plan

wegle

Alex,

It's time to be realistic, you have these crutches that you rely on to make you feel better. Alcohol, shopping, new projects, all these things create a buzz which floods seratonin through your brain, which as a depressed person you are lacking. Unfortunately they are only short term solutions and the buzz soon wears off, meaning you have to repeat the behaviour to get the buzz back. You need to explain ta to your doctor, they can prescribe you medication that will balance your seratonin levels and help reduce your dependency.

You say it's not like you're some kind of alcoholic, but in the same sentence contemplating lying about your alcohol consumption? I think that's a pretty big red flag there.

Pele here want to be supportive but the fact is you are in so much of a better position than many and it then it comes across that you want us to feel sorry for you because you still want to be able to spend £165 on a new shirt and wallet!!!!!! My wedding dress coat less than that!

Time to take stock Alex, you've lost your enthusiasm for debt busting as its not giving you the buzz it did when you first started. You need to take responsibility here and address the root causes of your problems. Everyone here is incredibly helpful but they will only devote their help to those who are willing to help themselves.

I'm sorry that all the above is pretty harsh, but I this bit of tough love and a reality check is called for.

LannieDuck

Wrt your medical appt, I know Drs can be really hit and miss with how seriously they take depression. Some are brill. Could you try a different doctor at the same practice?

AlexLK

Thank you for all your responses. I do really want to do this. Disappointed with myself. Currently trying to fight the urge to drink myself into a stupor as I realise I have been an idiot and that this needs to stop else I wind up divorced and penniless.