Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

mum2one

As you said your in the honeymoon period, thats the time where everything is all new, and to an extent the changes you have made are amazing, what you have achieved over two weeks is more than people achieve over a year,

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What I would say is look at putting some way of the money extra paid off in your sig, as you know I have a long time to go, so I break mine to yearly targets, easier to do it in chunks.. everyone has their own style.

--goes back as knitting DD a pair of minion gloves-- the things we do for love!! xx

boo2410

Alex, Alex Alex, you have done fantastically well in such a short space of time. Read your thread back to yourself, you have been so enthusiastic about it all, and your diary is a joy to read. Remember, everything you are doing is for the good of your family, and when you burst out of the other side debt free think how fantastic you will feel.

It's only natural that you are worried about tomorrow,and if a little drink has helped you chill then don't beat yourself up over it.

Good luck for tomorrow, just be truthful, there are no right and wrong answers, they are there to help you, not trip you up or trick you. Explain how you are feeling (or show them this thread) and then you can start moving forward.

AlexLK

Mara: :rotfl: I may have ...

maddiemay: Well, I've not spent any money on the internet last night ad did go to bed very early.

mum2one: I would love to pay off some more. However, due to my situation I want to do F&F settlements as soon as I have the money to do so. Mrs. K. and I agreed last night, yes she did talk to me ... that the money to pay off debts will be going in a separate account so neither of us spend it.

LOL on the Minion gloves, pictures please once finished.

boo: Not having a great day so far, in fact the appointment today has dug up some pretty painful memories of the past. However, I don't want to give up that easily . Doesn't really help that out of the past four days I've only had one decent night's sleep.

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you FC .

Will definitely have a go at the budget wine tasting challenge. I do not live near an Asda, the nearest one is about 20 miles away (I think). However, I go by there if I go to Nottingham for anything.

Mrs. K. say she "didn't want things to return to how they were", neither do I. However, I just feel myself beginning to slip, thinking a little bit of what one enjoys is not so bad....

Just shop online in bulk. OK, it won't look great in your spending list in the end of day diary but you divvy it up by the weeks.
So 18 x Bottles of nice budget wine on 3 4 £12 = £72 divvied by 2 bottles per week = 9 weeks supply

If you do an Asda online shop, put 'smart-price' into the search bar and some of their SP products are fine (not the processed food ones though) like bubble bath (just decant it into little ones shower gel bottle), loo roll, wash up liquid, tissues and so on.

Hope today goes well........remember the more you do the more you can do :cool:

bess1234_2

So 14 life changing days, one that was back to the old days. Which feels like how you want life to be?

You wouldn't have noticed yesterday a few weeks ago , because it was your normal. Yet now it feels negative and destructive. That's how far you've come.

Of course you need to put your f and f savings away!doh! Somewhere where you can't get them easily and they will earn interest. And you could add your saving total to your sig to see your getting there. What's your first f and f target?

Now if you hadn't drank last night it would be perfectly understandable to drink tonight, having faced your demons and asked for help , (another major life change) but now not sure... Maybe you need to try excercise, diversion tactics and other stuff. And if you went to the flipping pen shop, you need to return it! That will hurt .

In fact you have changed your life round in two weeks. A few hours last night does not take that away. Dust yourself off and get back on your horse.

bess1234_2

And your building a happy marriage for the last two weeks.

And it's a bit of a co incidence that your business is coming alive as you do.

A symptom of depression and anxiety is believing you can't do it so what's the point of trying, and having every thought wrapped up in guilt and shame , which is exhausting, and pointless. And not quite realising that your parents would accept a small beef roast because you had a birthday to go to. Or even a light lunch :rotfl: but probably not from what you ve said. It's not a selfish nature, it's part of your depression .

The facts of the last two weeks speak a different story from how your head sees it. You've done amazing . And your son is getting the joy of swimming with daddy

littlegreenparrot

Hi Alex,
Hope today has been a good one

A few points, that I hope will help.

*Recognise your progress so far, I'm a bit all or nothing as well, but in reality things take time. One bad day does not equal total failure (something I try to remember when watching what I eat!)
* We are creatures of habit. We all have established behaviour patterns, yours seems to be long hard day = wine (mine is chocolate - all of it!). You need to find something else, start running (start with 20 mins, feels achievable and enough to tire you out) endorphins + help you sleep maybe. Have a bath, watch a film, go snuggle It needs to be something that will distract you and replace the wine. Eventually brain rewires with new associations and this replaces the previous habit (takes 6 weeks apparently)
*Tricky one this, but stop thinking. I have got up before 6am 3x a week since January to go swim. The decision is made, I get up and just do. If I lie there thinking about the ifs/buts it doesn't happen! Think things through, make a decision, and try to just do.

Hope this helps
lgp

debtfreewannabe321

Alex buy yourself a wine making kit (or ask for one for xmas ) and get out and start foraging some berries and make some alcohol if it's MSE then no one can moan surely !

AlexLK

Thank you all . Today has so far felt a bit of a waste of time, the doctor didn't tell me anything new and I found him rather patronising.

I might as well admit it - I've spent money today too (a substantial amount more than yesterday), honestly I should be banned from going anywhere near a city centre (not on a pen though, at least ). Mrs. K. will be home from work fairly soon and well, I get the feeling I'm in for a bit of a "telling off".

In response:
fc: thank you, we will have to look into online shopping. I've never done it before, always tried to resist it but so many on here seem to be recommending it.

bess: thank you for such an encouraging post, I am well aware I have been an idiot today as well. However, certainly no drinking tonight. Yes, we do need to start putting the F&F savings AWAY, I'm beginning to feel like we have far more money than we actually do at the moment. First target is just under £8,000; I actually feel sick just writing that yet only a couple of days ago I was facing it and trying to see it as a challenge, hoping that facing up to and paying off the debts would start a whole new chapter.

I really have been trying with the business these last two weeks, fortunately I am still feeling positive about that.

littlegreenparrot: Thank you. Really do feel I've come a long way just to throw everything down the drain. For the last few days I have gone from doing quite a bit of walking to using the car all the time again. Simply feel like if I am going to put my effort into work, I haven't got time to put all the effort I have been doing into money saving, if that makes sense? Beginning to find it one big struggle now.

DFW: Sounds like far too much effort for me. However, I do have a friend who is very into wine making (not seen him for a number of years though).

Mara_uk7

"a telling off " ? She is not your parent, she is your equal, She may well be very disappointed that you are not taking the debt paying seriously, She should not have to tell you off, You are an adult too, Not some spoiled child who has to have something new since the doc didnt say the words you wanted to hear .

Its time to man up Alex, Its your debt too, and yes, in the future, when the enevitable happens to your parents, you will undoubtedly be a very well off man and you will not have to scrimp and save.

But in the meantime, you have to learn to stand on your own two feet and abide by the consequences of your actions. And stop relying on your poor parents to act as unpaid child minders, make some other arrangements for your son.

Im sorry if this sounds harsh, but youre getting good advice from folks around here, and thinking its amusing to go to town and blow the cash you just made. Its frustrating to see a decent guy getting it wrong.

Rant over