Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

fc123

7roland8 wrote: »

Well simple things please simple minds - it just shows they have nothing better to talk about - so you are honoured to take up so much of their time!!

Absolutely.....an Ignore situation.

What does Mrs K think about it? Does she back you up, does she get embarrassed by it?

Orange_Ena

AlexLK wrote: »

(pleased to be going to see a specialist on Tuesday as I was feeling suicidal).

Oh Alex, sorry to hear you've had a rough morning.

I'm not sure if you read much but years ago I read a great book called the Five People you Meet in Heaven. I can't remember that much about it now but when I finished reading it I remember thinking that if I ever saw someone about to jump off a bridge, I would say "wait, read this book". Each of us in this world has an effect on someone else, sometimes good, sometimes bad and whether we know it or not. I found it really moving and thought provoking.

I think I might order a copy for myself now and re-read it.

As for the in-laws, well, they sound really quite pathetic. Like bullies. I think the best was to deal with bullies is to just laugh or smile at them. I wasn't bullied at school but 2 girls from my school did start calling me names while I was on my paper round once. I just started laughing at them and cycled away. I showed them that they hadn't got to me so they gave up. It did upset me but I wasn't about to show those two moo cows that!

Stay strong and don't let them get to you. They clearly have nothing else going on in their lives if they are poking their nose in yours!

7roland8

Great minds Orange Ena - funnily enough I've just read Mitch Albom's The Five People you Meet in Heaven again this week - a great book - and yes, it does show how we are all interconnected.

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Oh my, is your main house also being renovated too? Dinner was absolutely delicious but both Mrs. K. and I have ate far too much. :rotfl:

".

Yes...this is the family home we bought in 1996 and we had great ideas and A Vision on how we wanted it to be.........then living and real life got in the way......and lack of funds and raising 2 kids bla bla bla.

She has always been an ugly house and architecturally, the 1968 Styleee has never come back into vogue .
However, she has always had a great location and that hasn't changed.

She was tenanted for a few years whilst we lived in Brighton and when we came back, everything seemed to need doing from new windows to new kitchen, new flooring, the list was endless.

...and it started from there as I was playing around with an Ikea CAD programme online and just couldn't fit the kitchen I wanted into the space. So we designed an extension, changed the front as much as planning would allow and it started last October. She had a horrid sunlounge tagged onto the back which, back in 96, we said ''ooooh that has to go''. Now it has.

We have had all sorts of problems from sinking floors, dodgy foundations, collapsing drains.......no heating or hot water during the snow this year, no heating at the moment either.

It will be lovely when done, we saved really hard for 3 years to do the work and, though it had taken 17 years before we could start, it will be worth it. I am thankful that we were able to do it in the end.


...just a bit of diversion in your thread to help you stop thinking about tomo....:)

fc123

7roland8 wrote: »

Great minds Orange Ena - funnily enough I've just read Mitch Albom's The Five People you Meet in Heaven again this week - a great book - and yes, it does show how we are all interconnected.

Goping to look out for that too...thanks for the recomendation.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Oh dear....this is a hard one.

Let's start with the 1st one 'Innapropriate attire'.......so what would rile her about what you choose to wear? Seems very 'shallow' to dig at someone over what they choose to wear.

Shame you haven't got a Mao suit. That would shut them up.

To refer to someones parents with a 'tag' is also pretty rude too. Whether it's using the word 'toffs' or 'scrotes' .....comes off the same page and both are a kind of snobbery. I can't think of a polite retort to that comment but you could say 'I would prefer you didn't refer to my parents in that way' and leave it at that? Mind you, that could start a row.

Politics..that ones easy to stay out of. Just say you don't have any political allegiances and let them get on with it. Never argue about politics with friends and family.


..and what has been 'given to you on a plate'? I thought you said your parents didn't help you with a deposit for a house.

I am a bit stuck to be honest as I was hoping to have a flash of inspiration and give you some 'witty retorts' that would shut them up....and I am failing miserably.

Yes, it is very difficult. None of this started until after I had my "nervous breakdown", in fact before I married Mrs. K. and during the first couple of years of our marriage they were always very polite.

They have been very rude to my parents in person so I doubt they'd stop on my account. I remember on one occasion (the last my parents saw them) Mrs. K.'s mother remarked that my parents are "old enough to be my grandparents" and that "they need not worry about ever having great-grandchildren". Later they always cover up their remarks as "jokes".

No my parents didn't help us with a deposit for a house. However, my in-laws are aware of the reason being because I'd wasted so much of my parents money in the past. At the time, they (my parents) were rather angry about how I had wasted a very substantial amount of money they had given me at 18 (it was meant to be for a future house but I had the time of my life for five or so years instead ).

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Well simple things please simple minds - it just shows they have nothing better to talk about - so you are honoured to take up so much of their time!!

LOL, indeed. I had to smile at this reply.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Absolutely.....an Ignore situation.

What does Mrs K think about it? Does she back you up, does she get embarrassed by it?

Mrs. K. is half embarrassed and half sticks up for them, saying that I should know her family has a "dry sense of humour".

Orange_Ena

Meant to add - I work for the NHS as a clinician and sometimes I have patients that are a bit rude or patronising or I get the vibes that they dislike me. If I'm in the mood, I start going overboard with the compliments and friendliness, "oh that's a nice jacket" or "wow, you really don't look your age". Inside I'm laughing cause they're on the back foot and then just have to shut their cakeholes

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Yes, it is very difficult. None of this started until after I had my "nervous breakdown", in fact before I married Mrs. K. and during the first couple of years of our marriage they were always very polite.

They have been very rude to my parents in person so I doubt they'd stop on my account. I remember on one occasion (the last my parents saw them) Mrs. K.'s mother remarked that my parents are "old enough to be my grandparents" and that "they need not worry about ever having great-grandchildren". Later they always cover up their remarks as "jokes".

No my parents didn't help us with a deposit for a house. However, my in-laws are aware of the reason being because I'd wasted so much of my parents money in the past. At the time, they (my parents) were rather angry about how I had wasted a very substantial amount of money they had given me at 18 (it was meant to be for a future house but I had the time of my life for five or so years instead ).

Very few 18 YO would be 'sensible' if given a large sum of money. I know they should be but if we had had a large sum, say 100k, and given it to our son at 18 he would have blown the lot. In fact, if I had been gifted 100k @ age 18, I would have had a ball

My old Dad intends to bypass all his children in his will and give direct to the grandchildren who range in age now from 6 - 27. He is well off and a healthy 82.
It's not our place to disagree with him but we know that receiving a large sum in ones late teens isn't going to be spent as wisely as if it was received in the older years.

Maybe it's time to reduce contact as much as possible and leave it to birthdays and Xmas until you feel stronger in yourself.