Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

mum2one

I guess the thought of tomorrow has been playing on our mind, thats understandable, and sorry this morning was a bad one, but I see a positive from it, is that you realised what was happening, and from the sounds of it, I hope you had a better afternoon.

At least seeing someone on Tuesday, even if its to touch base, more indepth - it is in place, - do you have an Out of office hours number if you need any support,

Take a deep breath, and get through tomorrow even if it means your wine has to be put up to tomorrow and your tounge gets bitten xx

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

I guess the thought of tomorrow has been playing on our mind, thats understandable, and sorry this morning was a bad one, but I see a positive from it, is that you realised what was happening, and from the sounds of it, I hope you had a better afternoon.

At least seeing someone on Tuesday, even if its to touch base, more indepth - it is in place, - do you have an Out of office hours number if you need any support,

Take a deep breath, and get through tomorrow even if it means your wine has to be put up to tomorrow and your tounge gets bitten xx

Thank you and very much so, I had very little sleep last night, especially after recent dealings with Mrs. K.'s side of the family. This afternoon was much better, thank you.

Yes, I do but I am weary of speaking with too many professionals about my problems for reasons I would rather not speak publically about.

Can't see me walking away from this "event" particularly coherent.:o

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Saturday 14th September, 2013.
Day 13.

Dear Diary,



Back to this morning, I am truly dreading seeing Mrs. K.'s family tomorrow evening for I know they will all greet us sweetly, let themselves look like the perfect little family before we all sit down to our meal and they will proceed to quietly tear me down and all because, if I'm honest with myself, they see me as an easy target. Useless, clueless and reckless Alexander who has spoiled his chances of ever being worthy of being seen as a human being within their clan and all because he fails miserably to put up and shut up.



Eventually, I faced the inevitable and put some more of my beloved and unique possessions up for sale, oh and this evening my wife and I gluttonously feasted on a home made Chinese feast accompanied by a deliciously crisp glass of white with more to enjoy tomorrow.

Summary:
I declare a No Spend Day, well something had to be positive, eh?

Yours faithfully,
Alex.

Wow, homemade Chinese.......it's the one thing I am going to learn to cook next. It is on hold right now as we still are livng with a 'camping kitchen' for the moment.....but by Xmas, we should have a new 'luxe' one and I will master some Chinese recipes.


OK, this whole In Law situation is a hard one to tread but....maybe start with just one little thing and the clue is in bold.

Try to make yourself less of an 'easy target'. I don't mean to come back with a ruder comment than the ones they throw at yourself.....but I wonder if we could come up with a few soundbites that you could trot out in repsonse to a 'typical' nasty remark? There are enough articulate posters on this thread to come up with something.

What would be an 'opener' that would begin a 'dig?

7roland8

Regarding responses to rude in laws - often the easiest way to deflect rude and ignorant comments is just to agree and change the subject - once you fail to respond their fun is gone.

Alex - sorry you are still feeling bad about putting your items up for sale. I know when my sons were small I would have been too wrapped up with them to even bother about such things. Try and imagine a flood or fire - and they were destroyed - would it really matter?

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Wow, homemade Chinese.......it's the one thing I am going to learn to cook next. It is on hold right now as we still are livng with a 'camping kitchen' for the moment.....but by Xmas, we should have a new 'luxe' one and I will master some Chinese recipes.


OK, this whole In Law situation is a hard one to tread but....maybe start with just one little thing and the clue is in bold.

Try to make yourself less of an 'easy target'. I don't mean to come back with a ruder comment than the ones they throw at yourself.....but I wonder if we could come up with a few soundbites that you could trot out in repsonse to a 'typical' nasty remark? There are enough articulate posters on this thread to come up with something.

What would be an 'opener' that would begin a 'dig?

Oh my, is your main house also being renovated too? Dinner was absolutely delicious but both Mrs. K. and I have ate far too much. :rotfl:

I try not to speak to them at all these days. When this all started I was far too ill to say anything back to them, then I have to admit I hid behind our son - if they said anything he always needed attention for some reason I'd made up. Now, I'm fine if dealing with one of them but the whole lot of them together, I find myself agreeing with them to keep the peace. So far as they are concerned I have ruined their daughter's life so I do understand where they are coming from. However, by the same token, Mrs. K. has chosen to stay with me.

They always find something to have a "dig" about, whether it be my choice of attire for the evening or one of her mother's biggest problems is my background - she is very "working class and proud". I can almost guarantee the first thing she'll say to her daughter tomorrow is something along the lines of asking if she'd seen "the toffs" (my parents) at lunch whilst they all laugh in the background and her father moans about "the rich getting richer", "David Cameron" and the "fact" I've been "given everything on a plate".

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Regarding responses to rude in laws - often the easiest way to deflect rude and ignorant comments is just to agree and change the subject - once you fail to respond their fun is gone.

Alex - sorry you are still feeling bad about putting your items up for sale. I know when my sons were small I would have been too wrapped up with them to even bother about such things. Try and imagine a flood or fire - and they were destroyed - would it really matter?

- I do agree. However, I don't change any subject because I don't speak to them.

Of course my son comes first over anything like pens or watches or any of the other nice things I own. I am aware none of it really matters and that I am much more fortunate than many others living in this world. Sorry about the whinging.

7roland8

AlexLK wrote: »

They always find something to have a "dig" about, whether it be my choice of attire for the evening or one of her mother's biggest problems is my background - she is very "working class and proud". I can almost guarantee the first thing she'll say to her daughter tomorrow is something along the lines of asking if she'd seen "the toffs" (my parents) at lunch whilst they all laugh in the background and her father moans about "the rich getting richer", "David Cameron" and the "fact" I've been "given everything on a plate".

That does sound horrendous Alex - but just think - 24 hours and it will all be over - and you have got through visits before so will again.

Use it as a fact-finding exercise to tell us all about afterwards - then you can be more the observer than a participant.

Good luck.

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

That does sound horrendous Alex - but just think - 24 hours and it will all be over - and you have got through visits before so will again.

Use it as a fact-finding exercise to tell us all about afterwards - then you can be more the observer than a participant.

Good luck.

Is it and thank you. However, there have been odd occasions when what they say has been more amusing than anything. Her father must ask me every time I see them (if the whole family is there) if I was not good enough to get into Eton / Oxford or if my parents were unable to afford the fees. :mad::rotfl: He gave up on the Oxford university one when my wife pointed out one of her friends from school (who lived on a council estate) got into Oxford university.

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Oh my, is your main house also being renovated too? Dinner was absolutely delicious but both Mrs. K. and I have ate far too much. :rotfl:

I try not to speak to them at all these days. When this all started I was far too ill to say anything back to them, then I have to admit I hid behind our son - if they said anything he always needed attention for some reason I'd made up. Now, I'm fine if dealing with one of them but the whole lot of them together, I find myself agreeing with them to keep the peace. So far as they are concerned I have ruined their daughter's life so I do understand where they are coming from. However, by the same token, Mrs. K. has chosen to stay with me.

They always find something to have a "dig" about, whether it be my choice of attire for the evening or one of her mother's biggest problems is my background - she is very "working class and proud". I can almost guarantee the first thing she'll say to her daughter tomorrow is something along the lines of asking if she'd seen "the toffs" (my parents) at lunch whilst they all laugh in the background and her father moans about "the rich getting richer", "David Cameron" and the "fact" I've been "given everything on a plate".

Oh dear....this is a hard one.

Let's start with the 1st one 'Innapropriate attire'.......so what would rile her about what you choose to wear? Seems very 'shallow' to dig at someone over what they choose to wear.

Shame you haven't got a Mao suit. That would shut them up.

To refer to someones parents with a 'tag' is also pretty rude too. Whether it's using the word 'toffs' or 'scrotes' .....comes off the same page and both are a kind of snobbery. I can't think of a polite retort to that comment but you could say 'I would prefer you didn't refer to my parents in that way' and leave it at that? Mind you, that could start a row.

Politics..that ones easy to stay out of. Just say you don't have any political allegiances and let them get on with it. Never argue about politics with friends and family.


..and what has been 'given to you on a plate'? I thought you said your parents didn't help you with a deposit for a house.

I am a bit stuck to be honest as I was hoping to have a flash of inspiration and give you some 'witty retorts' that would shut them up....and I am failing miserably.

7roland8

Well simple things please simple minds - it just shows they have nothing better to talk about - so you are honoured to take up so much of their time!!