Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

patanne wrote: »

I don't know whether this works the same for young children as it does for high/grammar schools. Watching children coming out of school seems to be a good guide as to the school. Locally we have 1 high school that does not have a good reputation and 2 that do. The ones coming out of the bad one have a much higher % coming out looking at the ground, alone/not talking to anyone.

The ones from the - 4th school - fee paying school look like they forgot how to dress themselves, push other people off the pavement and expect the traffic to stop for them even though the lights are against them (bankers in the making!). I should stress that I do not blame them for this but their parents who make their little darlings feel like they are entitled to behave badly with no comeback. And yes I know they don't all behave that way.

I can't say I've noticed anything bad about how pupils present themselves at either school.

My wife and I have had a bit of a falling out about schooling today as apparently I'm "more interested" in my parents opinion than hers. If that were the case I would have never even filled the form out to reserve him a place at the village school.

patanne wrote: »

Do you think that it is possible that the more areas you can control (as with your spreadsheets) the more IN CONTROL you will feel and then things that you can't control will not bother you as much?

I'm not sure about that, for the past couple of days I've been anything but positive even though I've carried on. Not really sure how others manage to be positive or happy with their situations.

My whole life is out of my control, I've come to terms with that.

chevalier wrote: »

Ref the local clubs thing. Do you have a local beavers pack? This is the young equivalent of cubs. They start from around 5 I think, so you would need to probably be putting him on a waiting list for your local group as they are generally very popular. They do games, and arty things as well. And the child can work towards badges too. My two are in the scouts here and they do alot of fun things. It also means they meet children who are not in their local school also.

I like the suggestion above about sending him to the village school and then maybe arrange a taster day when he is older. At 4 and a bit he will probably be nervous about whatever school he goes to (going from being the big fish in the nursery pond to little fish in the school pond). If it is a small village school even better. The class sizes will be small enough that he won't be lost in the shuffle.
My kids when we were in England went to a small village school. There were about 8 kids in my younger boys class, and 6 in my older ones year 2 class. They absolutely loved it because they had lots of time with a teacher, and could also explore topics at their own pace.

When does Little K start school? In September or at Easter? If you want to know whether he would be the only new starter ask at the nursery, there are bound to be other parents with kids due to start this school, so then that will be one less thing to worry about.
chev

Hi Chev,

I think my son would enjoy Beavers though it is not something I have looked into and presumed he'd just be able to join whenever was convenient, certainly hadn't imagined a waiting list. :eek:

Your points about the village school are very true, I think he would like it there and have chance to work on things he is interested in.

He's not due to start school until September and as he goes to nursery in our closest large town, there are not other parents with children due to start the same village school.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

My wife and I have had a bit of a falling out about schooling today as apparently I'm "more interested" in my parents opinion than hers. If that were the case I would have never even filled the form out to reserve him a place at the village school.

My whole life is out of my control, I've come to terms with that.

For once I can see Mrs K's point of view. Your parents sent you to a private school so you're leaning towards that for Little K so therefore 'more interested' in copying what they did rather than having a genuine discussion with MrsK about the best way forward/options for your son. From what I've read your parents sent you to a private school as they saw it as doing the best for you with the money they'd made and giving you something they didn't have themselves. I can understand that but MrsK can see that she came out well from state education so in dismissing it you're dismissing her achievement to an extent.


You can be in control of your life if you want to. You don't need to accept it being out of control. You've made huge strides in controlling the finances and with that comes choices. You're choosing a school for LittleK for (to begin with) the next three years. I believe he'd learn a lot from going to the village school and then if he wasn't making satisfactory progress you could think again. A side effect of that is that you save money and that gives you more control of your life and more choices for the future. It's a 'no brainer' for me.

heartbreak_star

^^ this

HBS x

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

For once I can see Mrs K's point of view. Your parents sent you to a private school so you're leaning towards that for Little K so therefore 'more interested' in copying what they did rather than having a genuine discussion with MrsK about the best way forward/options for your son. From what I've read your parents sent you to a private school as they saw it as doing the best for you with the money they'd made and giving you something they didn't have themselves. I can understand that but MrsK can see that she came out well from state education so in dismissing it you're dismissing her achievement to an extent.

You can be in control of your life if you want to. You don't need to accept it being out of control. You've made huge strides in controlling the finances and with that comes choices. You're choosing a school for LittleK for (to begin with) the next three years. I believe he'd learn a lot from going to the village school and then if he wasn't making satisfactory progress you could think again. A side effect of that is that you save money and that gives you more control of your life and more choices for the future. It's a 'no brainer' for me.

I suppose you're right that my wife sees herself as doing well from humble beginnings and me failing miserably despite my rather expensive education.

At the moment I am very seriously considering sending him to the village school until he is 7 and then he will go to prep school. No desire to have him state educated right the way through for various reasons, including starting senior school at 11, not wanting the latest "bright" government idea to affect my son's education and a general lack of enthusiasm for non "core" subjects.

The money has nothing to do with it for me, yet does for my wife. Mind, I can't say she's always got my son's best interests at heart.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

I suppose you're right that my wife sees herself as doing well from humble beginnings and me failing miserably despite my rather expensive education.

At the moment I am very seriously considering sending him to the village school until he is 7 and then he will go to prep school. No desire to have him state educated right the way through for various reasons, including starting senior school at 11, not wanting the latest "bright" government idea to affect my son's education and a general lack of enthusiasm for non "core" subjects.

The money has nothing to do with it for me, yet does for my wife. Mind, I can't say she's always got my son's best interests at heart.

I know your wife doesn't come from the most er......'cultured' of families but I'd hardly call being state educated humble beginnings. 83% of the children in Britain are educated in the state sector!! Even 'call me Dave' sends his children to state schools!


I find your 'money has nothing to do with it' comment difficult to understand. If you look at your immediate family (and I'm talking just about you, MrsK and LittleK), it would be a huge financial commitment for you to educate him privately unless you find a way of earning lots more money and/or live very frugally. That would include a big chunk of MrsK's earnings and maybe she's reluctant to spend on something she doesn't see as a priority.


The alternative is for your parents to pay for his education which might not bother you (and I'm sure it's something they'd love to do for their grandson) but MrsK might not like that sort of indebtedness as she seems to pay her way from her own resources (even if it is with a CC and I think at times she's rather selfish and reckless ).


Are these similar arguments to MrsK's?

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I know your wife doesn't come from the most er......'cultured' of families but I'd hardly call being state educated humble beginnings. 83% of the children in Britain are educated in the state sector!! Even 'call me Dave' sends his children to state schools!

If you'd seen my in laws shabby semi, you'd likely agree.

As for "call me Dave", I very much doubt his children would attend schools if he weren't PM. Should he resign after the election, I would be surprised if he kept his children in state education.

maman wrote: »

I find your 'money has nothing to do with it' comment difficult to understand. If you look at your immediate family (and I'm talking just about you, MrsK and LittleK), it would be a huge financial commitment for you to educate him privately unless you find a way of earning lots more money and/or live very frugally. That would include a big chunk of MrsK's earnings and maybe she's reluctant to spend on something she doesn't see as a priority.

The alternative is for your parents to pay for his education which might not bother you (and I'm sure it's something they'd love to do for their grandson) but MrsK might not like that sort of indebtedness as she seems to pay her way from her own resources (even if it is with a CC and I think at times she's rather selfish and reckless ).


Are these similar arguments to MrsK's?

I see my immediate family as my wife, son and parents. As for the financial commitment, it wouldn't be an issue because my parents would be paying for his education in return for a greater involvement in their business interests from me. That's not exactly living from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

As for my wife's arguments, yes you are very right. She seems to also think I should want to stay here with a large mortgage to "pay our own way" when it would make greater financial sense for us to live with my parents and would actually help them out somewhat too. Eventually, I know I'm going to have to make the choice between them.

AlexLK

Monday 2nd February, 2015.

Dear Diary,

Today has been a great day for business and I finally am becoming a little more motivated in that respect. Records are being kept up to date and I'm amazed just how much easier that has made my work life. Currently hoping February will be a good month for the savings / making money and trying to keep positive about such things despite being behind target.

For the past few weeks I have been considering moving my diary to mortgage free in an attempt to start paying that rather large debt I'd like to not think about down but each time I start writing an introductory post I cannot help but wonder if I'd be letting the side down - they are all very financially competent over there. :rotfl:

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

mum2one

Just a thought why not change the title of the diary to reflect the new debt free life, and bounce the mortgage wanbee from here.

Glad things have sorted out, and everything going ok.

xx

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

they are all very financially competent over there. :rotfl:

Em, I can point you towards some who have 'lapses' .

Stay here if you're happy - you're still on a journey to a debt free life . There are plenty people on the MFW board [STRIKE]that we can't get rid off[/STRIKE] who have paid off their mortgages but don't want to move their diary elsewhere (there are some seriously competent boards out there you know :eek:). No-one is going to kick you off here.

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

If you'd seen my in laws shabby semi, you'd likely agree.

As for "call me Dave", I very much doubt his children would attend schools if he weren't PM. Should he resign after the election, I would be surprised if he kept his children in state education.



I see my immediate family as my wife, son and parents. As for the financial commitment, it wouldn't be an issue because my parents would be paying for his education in return for a greater involvement in their business interests from me. That's not exactly living from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

As for my wife's arguments, yes you are very right. She seems to also think I should want to stay here with a large mortgage to "pay our own way" when it would make greater financial sense for us to live with my parents and would actually help them out somewhat too. Eventually, I know I'm going to have to make the choice between them.

Please take this in the nicest possible manner, I'm looking at this objectively - as a situation - and have no wish to insult your parents

You married, therefore your responsibility is now to Mrs K and Little K. You need to cut the apron strings and I think part of Mrs K's exasperation with you sometimes is your inability to do this completely. If you include your parents in your "immediate family", you have to include hers too.

On that note, please don't move in with your parents. I've tried to stand in her shoes a bit on this, and feel that your parents would probably belittle and insult her without even realising they're doing it...and then you end up arguing, divorced and your parents have "won".

Think about how you'd feel if you were asked to move in with your in-laws (also, "shabby semi"? You massive snob!!). You've already said they're not keen on her, and you've just got your marriage back on track so why purposefully derail it again?

I rarely agree with Mrs K, but I am now. This is ringing massive alarm bells.

On the positive side, am SO glad to hear the business is getting more organised and back on track Good record-keeping is an absolute must, running the cheer squad made me realise that.

HBS x