Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I see a badge!

And so it might not get perfect marks. *shrug* it'll get GOOD marks, and you're being a husband and father and working alongside studying this time, as you so rightly point out. You're setting a great example for Little K by doing this

HBS x

Thank you, HBS.


Not sure about setting a great example, unfortunately. I try my best though am concerned one day when he's older he'll find out about my problems and as a consequence want nothing more to do with me.

maman wrote: »

That's great news about the badge Alex.:T I was amused by mse Badger. You've certainly been badgered on this thread and taken it all in good part. You're a star!!


I think both you and MrsK are setting LittleK an excellent example. For him to see daddy doing 'work' reinforces lifelong learning and MrsK setting up her own workstation gives all the right messages.

Thank you, maman.


My son has always been around my work as I've been self employed since before he was born. He loves "helping" with my work. :rotfl: Mrs. K. is now set up and I hope she can keep to her word, she has also overpaid her credit card bill without me asking her to. She admits last year she went "off the rails" a bit and says she wants us to start sharing our money again.

patanne

I really am going to have to learn how to quote. Firstly congrats on the "badge". Well deserved.

You will just have to take our word for it that he will never go the route of "not wanting anything to do with you". You have made him into a well grounded child, who before he reaches the age where he may not want to have anything to do with someone, will have realised that EVERYONE including himself have issues with something. This is not something you should be wasting time worrying about - it isn't going to happen! So there!

As he gets older he will realise that what you do IS work and that he has been allowed to share in that. My very young (at the time) DS learned his ABC by sorting my filing. He didn't realise at the time that I was earning money and his helping was saving me time, but he thoroughly enjoyed helping & did, when a couple of years older, realise that we were actually working. He's certainly never held it against me, any more than miniK will hold it, or anything else, against you.

cazmanian_minx

Alex, it sounds like you and Mrs K are getting on much better this year, long may it last

AlexLK

patanne wrote: »

I really am going to have to learn how to quote. Firstly congrats on the "badge". Well deserved.

You will just have to take our word for it that he will never go the route of "not wanting anything to do with you". You have made him into a well grounded child, who before he reaches the age where he may not want to have anything to do with someone, will have realised that EVERYONE including himself have issues with something. This is not something you should be wasting time worrying about - it isn't going to happen! So there!

As he gets older he will realise that what you do IS work and that he has been allowed to share in that. My very young (at the time) DS learned his ABC by sorting my filing. He didn't realise at the time that I was earning money and his helping was saving me time, but he thoroughly enjoyed helping & did, when a couple of years older, realise that we were actually working. He's certainly never held it against me, any more than miniK will hold it, or anything else, against you.

Hi patanne,


Thank you.


Quoting: Click on the "quote" button, this will send you to another screen with the text you have quoted in a text box. Underneath the quoted text (so after the code [/QUOTE]) you may type your reply. Hope that makes sense.


I don't really want my son knowing about my "issues" for various reasons, one being that I don't really want him thinking that it's OK to end up like me. However, thank you I really hope this is the case.


As for learning the alphabet by filing, that's a rather good idea. My son thinks work is "fun", :rotfl:.

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

Alex, it sounds like you and Mrs K are getting on much better this year, long may it last

We are, thank you.

3wisemonks

I've been reading your diary since yesterday. I'll be honest I got to pg 35 and skipped to 200 really I couldn't take the ups and downs its been emotional!

I wanted to say really well done, you've really cracked on with busting your debts and succeeded :beer:

I know the dark place you find yourself in only to well. The sleep issue compounds it I know but try not to focus on what the docs won't give you for this and work to find a solution. I find in bed at night is when the dark thoughts come, to banish them I either listen to music something calming and focus my mind total on it. What instruments are used, visualising them being played etc and I will drift off it took time for this to work but it did. Maybe something like this could help you.

I have days still when I have dark thoughts, I avoid alcohol for the most part and I'm learning my triggers but I try and remind myself of anything positive I've achieved like paying our debts or build a savings pot etc.
I bat those negative thoughts away and daydream of something nice if unrealistic like winning the lottery (I don't even play the lottery) but its silly and fun for a few seconds failing that I eat dark chocolate and pop some vitamin d pills and go for a walk I was at my lowest for around 4 years as a child and then around 5 as an adult but I've pulled myself back each time alone as I was to scared to admit anything to anyone. You can do it be kind to yourself.

Keep trying to recognise you are not a failure what's in the past is just that and whatever it is you feel is so awful you are more than making up for it by showering your son with love every single day.

AlexLK

3wisemonks: Thank you.


I really struggle with finding positivity, never mind remaining positive. The sleep issues did get better for a little while, I also found listening to music helped me to drift off but now it's no better. Unfortunately, I seem to be in a habit of letting myself become consumed by my thoughts once ready to go to sleep, sometimes that leads to panic attacks meaning I don't associate bed time with rest or relaxation. Generally I've some rather bad sleep habits: no established routine, drinking a glass of water just before sleep which inevitably leads to waking up, going back to bed after taking my son to nursery and I'm sure there's many more that aren't good. Yet whilst I struggle to sleep at night I also struggle to get up and face the day come morning time, will only do so if I need to be somewhere.


Things got far too bad for me not to admit anything and now it seems to take over my life. I understand what tends to trigger panic attacks but the depression seems to be almost continuous. An odd afternoon I'll feel better but it's so infrequent I can remember exactly when these times are.


I don't suppose I've done any one particular awful thing, just lots of little things. They are in my past but haunt me every single day.

FlacosFloozie

Congratulations Alex! You've done it :j:beer:
and even better it looks like you're inspirng Mrs K! So proud of you. When times are dark remember you have acheived something you never thought you could.

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

Things got far too bad for me not to admit anything and now it seems to take over my life. I understand what tends to trigger panic attacks but the depression seems to be almost continuous. An odd afternoon I'll feel better but it's so infrequent I can remember exactly when these times are.


I don't suppose I've done any one particular awful thing, just lots of little things. They are in my past but haunt me every single day.

*coach glare* DOCTOR!! Don't worry about "bothering" them! Go back, please!!

You can do nothing about the past. You can only act in the present and look to the future.

HBS x

AlexLK

FlacosFloozie / HBS: Thank you, I've been rather busy this weekend and today. I do need to sort out the sleep problems though still not sure how.

gallygirl

Alex I suffer from very poor sleep - though not as bad as you - and know how debilitating it can be.

Have you looked at your bedroom at all? One of the rules of sleep hygiene is about having an uncluttered bedroom and I'm sort of guessing your room has 'stuff' in it . Try giving it an overhaul - remove everything except the furniture and one or two special pieces that belong there. Put all clothes away before going to bed. Remove phones (you can always leave a phone on the landing if you worry about your parents having to ring, you're not going to sleep through it ). Don't have any alarms or radios that give out any light. Don't take your computer to bed with you (TV is another no-no but I know that doesn't apply). Make the bedroom a calm and restful place, not full of 'clutter'.

I know it sounds crazy but it really does help me, when my sleep gets bad again I often find it's because 'stuff' has crept back in. If I've left coat hangers on the side - is my brain remembering I need to do some ironing? Left a scarf out - I'm soooooo untidy I really could do with washing that, and maybe some others while I'm at it. Random item - should I ebay that or give it to a charity shop? Which charity shop? I'm in the office tomorrow, I could give it to the one next door, or walk down to the hospice shop. What's the weather forecast like though because it's a bit of a trail? Remember to wear warm coat. Hole punch (no, I don't know either!) - I REALLY need to sort out that paperwork. And make some phone calls. Because I have a lot of stuff to sort out before I move to the Middle East. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH I'M MOVING TO THE MIDDLE EAST!!!!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!!! WHY HAVE I GIVEN UP MY JOB - AM I CRAZY??????????? Etc, etc .

Basically make your room an oasis of calm and peace. And boring so your brain gets bored and you fall asleep . I know you'll say you have plenty to worry about in your mind anyway, but don't give it any extra ammunition. Give it a try - at least you'll get a tidy room out of it .