Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

VJsmum

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you for your kind words.

If she cared how much I was worth financially, I cannot see why she'd be with me now?

A bloke who is set to inherit millions ( that on divorce she could get half of) and who lets her do what the hell she likes, including shagging around?

I think I do...

All the best for Christmas Alex, I would love Santa to bring you some self esteem

heartbreak_star

VJsmum wrote: »

A bloke who is set to inherit millions ( that on divorce she could get half of) and who lets her do what the hell she likes, including shagging around?

I think I do...

All the best for Christmas Alex, I would love Santa to bring you some self esteem

Hate to say but I agree that this is right.

Also hope Santa brings you a parcel of self-esteem

HBS x

cazmanian_minx

Alex, my mother divorced her first husband in a time when it was still very much Not Done, particularly within the social circles she moved in. She lost most of her friends as a result, people would cross the street rather than be seen walking with her. She was on her own, very short of money, in a tiny flat with a small son, but she did it because she didn't want my brother growing up thinking that was what a marriage should be like.

But my brother is a happy, successful adult who has been very happily settled with his other half for about 25 years now and what she did gave me the courage to leave what was becoming an increasingly emotionally abusive first marriage when I was 30. Fast-forward 30 years and imagine Little K's wife is treating him as Mrs K is treating you and he's asking you for advice. What would you tell him?

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I've no idea what you've done in the past that was so horrid but it was in the past. You've grown up now and moved on.

Although I'm conscious of this::wall:Why can you not see that your wife's behaviour is incredibly irresponsible and she leads a charmed life???

Some friends of mine went to Crieff Hydro for a multi generation holiday a few years back and it seemed to work. Not sure if anyone has recent experience of it. Or why not go to your parents' apartment then you could each do your won thing but meet up together some of the time?

Only four more sleeps before the big day.:xmassmile

I have a lot of trouble letting the past go.

I can see her behaviour is irresponsible but there's nothing I can do about that.

Just looked up the Crieff Hydro, it looks fantastic although it's a long way to go. My mother would love the off roading but I'm not sure driving all that way in two Land Rovers would make for a relaxing time and I can just see father refusing to let her try quad biking. :rotfl: Would certainly make use of a lot of the activities there, maybe Centre Parcs is worth another look. We have discussed going to Spain which would be the cheapest option and the most likely. I've not been there in years, it's not good enough for Mrs. K., I think it could be a refreshing change.

Three more sleeps now.

patanne wrote: »

From what I have seen, most children do not care much where they are, just so long as the people they are with make them feel comfortable/secure. Your parents apartment with (or even without them) would seem to be a comfortable place to be. You would seem to be the perfect person for him to be with. So book the flights today. One of these days you will understand what we can see. Give him what your parents now realise they should have given you. They have forgiven you for your perceived errors you know and realise that a large amount of the blame was theirs. Allow them to forgive you cos they can never say it.

Thank you.

I think my son would like Spain, especially in April when it's not too hot. I always make time for my son, sometimes at the detriment of business which is something my parents never did.

gallygirl wrote: »

By my standards I am well off, but if you knew what size pot I'm planning to retire on you'd have a fit! I'm currently saving 60% of my net pay (not including the rental income which is saved separately).

As for financial hardship - sorry Alex but don't make me laugh! The only financial hardship you've got is because you ran up debts through overspending and refuse to sell 'stuff' to pay for them. That's very different to lying awake at night wondering how you're going to pay bills and keep a roof over your head which is a reality for many on here. How much would repairs to your roof and boiler cost? What % of your pens and watches does that represent?(You don't have to answer that on here but please do stop for a minute and think about it). Regardless of what you think you are in a very comfortable position - or at least you would be if you would realise some of your assets and devote more time to your business. No sympathy here I'm afraid when the solution is in your own hands

Sorry, gallygirl. I didn't realise you'd had a difficult time of things in the past.

You're right about my financial hardship, I'm fairly asset rich though before posting on here I would not have counted certain things as assets. The business is rather cash rich, this past year I've been working much harder than previously and that has drastically improved the business finances. I choose to reinvest money earned as I don't really trust myself not to buy "toys".

There was a time that my parents were paying my mortgage and household bills, so I do know what it's like to have no money.

AlexLK

VJsmum wrote: »

A bloke who is set to inherit millions ( that on divorce she could get half of) and who lets her do what the hell she likes, including shagging around?

I think I do...

All the best for Christmas Alex, I would love Santa to bring you some self esteem

She'd be waiting a long time if that was her aim, my mother's family have a long history of living for a long time. She is also aware that I would not approve of her "shagging around".

I'm looking forward to Christmas and hope you have a nice one too.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Hate to say but I agree that this is right.

Also hope Santa brings you a parcel of self-esteem

HBS x

Have a nice Christmas, HBS.

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

Alex, my mother divorced her first husband in a time when it was still very much Not Done, particularly within the social circles she moved in. She lost most of her friends as a result, people would cross the street rather than be seen walking with her. She was on her own, very short of money, in a tiny flat with a small son, but she did it because she didn't want my brother growing up thinking that was what a marriage should be like.

But my brother is a happy, successful adult who has been very happily settled with his other half for about 25 years now and what she did gave me the courage to leave what was becoming an increasingly emotionally abusive first marriage when I was 30. Fast-forward 30 years and imagine Little K's wife is treating him as Mrs K is treating you and he's asking you for advice. What would you tell him?

That's a very thought provoking post. My wife is not a bad person and we do not have an abusive relationship. I hope that I manage to teach my son not to be afraid of being alone, as a father I would be disappointed to hear my son was compromising his happiness to hang onto somebody else. However, that statement comes with the caveat he had some happiness that could be potentially taken in the first place.

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

Have a nice Christmas, HBS.

You too - hope Little K has an awesome time as well. Take care of yourself and lots of good wishes

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS: Thank you once again.

This year we are very much under budget for Christmas with nothing to do until the 25th. Reading about other people overspending in other diaries reminds me of years previous. Strangely, I used to hate Christmas yet always spent far too much, this year we've spent very little and I'm looking forward to it.

Before admitting we needed to cut down our spending last year, I always felt under pressure to provide the most expensive gifts. My family are also aware I have stopped eating some foods for health reasons and I'm strangely relieved to be under no pressure to eat and drink. I know a part of the reason I'm looking forward to it is the age my son is and the fact he's very excited but I'm also pleased not to feel under any pressure.

Mara_uk7

Happy Christmas Alex, you deserve it

AlexLK

Thanks, Mara. I hope you have a happy Christmas too.

Last night I had a sleepless night wondering if the issues in my marriage are entirely my fault and vowed to myself I would speak to her this morning. However, morning came and I couldn't find the courage to speak. Don't want life to be like this forever but hope to forget reality for a few days starting on Thursday.

mum2one

Hope you all have a merry christmas xx