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Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.
Comments
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]heartbreak_star wrote: »And we don't think too highly of you. You don't think highly enough of yourself
HBS x
Well said HBS!!:TI somewhat agree with your comment about lifestyle. However, my wife didn't exactly have an easy time before graduating and I do understand some of the reasons for her behaviour. Nobody is perfect, not that it makes her any easier to live with.
Your loyalty is admirable and I don't know the details, but I'm assuming she was just a hard up student from a hard up family. There's a lot of it about!
Using a years old excuse for current behaviour is as ridiculous as you still beating yourself up for things you did years ago IMO. A far more grown up approach is to ensure that you don't get into that situation again not spend like money's going out of fashion on things you don't need or want.
If I were you I'd get planning a 'boys' break for April with LittleK. How much would a couple of flights cost? 0 -
Alex, what's the state of your relationship with your parents at the moment? Given that I seem to remember your wife doesn't get on with them terribly well, could you and your parents take LittleK somewhere for a mini-break in the UK while she's away? Maybe CenterParcs, which I understand has gone very Boden these days, or a Mark Warner place. Make some nice grandparent memories for him 0
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Apologies for not responding sooner, things are busy.
Had a nice day at my son's nursery Christmas party despite not being well. Us parents were each given a Christmas card that had been designed by our children, my son's has made it's way onto my piano at home. Also very proud of him for playing his violin in public for the first time today, though it seems all his little friends want a go now; one four year old pupil is quite enough for me!Alex. Make the most of spending time with your son. Book a few days away while your wife is away.
Life goes so quickly that your son will be in school and at uni before you know it. Spend quality time with him, forge that close relationship. What you will do with him now will only help when he himself becomes an adult.
Think back to your own childhood, what did you really miss from your parents and then concentrate on not making the same mistakes.
JIL: Thank you.
I spend as much time with my son as possible doing lots of different activities. Don't really want to think about him starting school, you are right about life going quickly, currently I wish he could stay aged 4 forever.
A few days away would be really nice. I suppose feeling guilty about going away without my wife is holding me back from booking something.heartbreak_star wrote: »Mine's not great but Natwest gave me a "basic" business account (a Foundation Account I think they call it) for the squad. Might be worth enquiring about?
And we don't think too highly of you. You don't think highly enough of yourself
HBS x
HBS: Thank you once again.
I'll see what happens with the account. Currently, I only wish to move my business account due to the fees of day to day banking. Still not booked an appointment though.]
Well said HBS!!:T
Your loyalty is admirable and I don't know the details, but I'm assuming she was just a hard up student from a hard up family. There's a lot of it about!
Using a years old excuse for current behaviour is as ridiculous as you still beating yourself up for things you did years ago IMO. A far more grown up approach is to ensure that you don't get into that situation again not spend like money's going out of fashion on things you don't need or want.
If I were you I'd get planning a 'boys' break for April with LittleK. How much would a couple of flights cost?
Maman: You're right about my wife's past. She did have the added problem of having to work part time whilst at uni and that somewhat affecting her studies. She also had to pick a subject based upon it's career prospects. Things were not easy for her.
She believes that because she works hard she deserves to be able to treat herself. Unfortunately, she seems unable to see that her lifestyle is unsustainable and sees no reason to live within our means or think about paying our mortgage off as we will at some point in the future inherit a large amount of money and assets.
If wouldn't cost a lot of money to take my son away for a few days but I don't want to cause arguments.2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000 -
cazmanian_minx wrote: »Alex, what's the state of your relationship with your parents at the moment? Given that I seem to remember your wife doesn't get on with them terribly well, could you and your parents take LittleK somewhere for a mini-break in the UK while she's away? Maybe CenterParcs, which I understand has gone very Boden these days, or a Mark Warner place. Make some nice grandparent memories for him
cazmanian: Things are rather good between my parents and I. The relationship between my in-laws and I is much more strained than the relationship between my wife and my parents. However, I don't suppose she likes them much.
The idea of going away with my parents seemed a little odd at first, not been on holiday with them since I was 17, but I think both they and my son would really enjoy that. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll have a word. 2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000 -
Maman: You're right about my wife's past. She did have the added problem of having to work part time whilst at uni and that somewhat affecting her studies. She also had to pick a subject based upon it's career prospects. Things were not easy for her.
She believes that because she works hard she deserves to be able to treat herself. Unfortunately, she seems unable to see that her lifestyle is unsustainable and sees no reason to live within our means or think about paying our mortgage off as we will at some point in the future inherit a large amount of money and assets.
If wouldn't cost a lot of money to take my son away for a few days but I don't want to cause arguments.
Oh Alex, what you describe is not a hard life it's normality for masses and masses of students. And as for choosing a course on career prospects, what do you imagine doctors and teachers do (to name a very few) that's perfectly normal too. It's only the likes of Waity Katy that can swan around doing Fine Arts and mess about in a dress shop while she waits for her prince to come! Which, on reflection, is what MrsK did I suppose.:Dcazmanian: Things are rather good between my parents and I.
The idea of going away with my parents seemed a little odd at first, not been on holiday with them since I was 17, but I think both they and my son would really enjoy that. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll have a word.
I think you should go for it and if it coincides with when MrsK is away then there's no reason to feel guilty. And if your parents offer to pay some/all of the costs then don't start feeling guilty about that either. I've done that for my DDs and it gives me the greatest pleasure far more so than spending my money on myself.
Many congratulations to LittleK on his first, public performance. Did he play a carol?:)0 -
Alex, I really don't know why you see yourself as a failure you sound like you are being a really great parent and sometimes that is the most important and most rewarding job in the world.
Carry on like you are now and the closeness will be forged for life.0 -
I also agree the break with your parents, I know for me, I have a break with DD, then over the summer holidays we have the family break, even you see parents during the week, its a more 1 to 1 bond when your away.
xxx rip dad... we had our ups and downs but we’re always be family xx0 -
I worked full time while doing an OU degree part-time (including two courses one year which was the equivalent of a full year at uni :eek:).Oh Alex, what you describe is not a hard life it's normality for masses and masses of students.
Can I have a pen please Alex
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Seriously, stop making excuses for her. You deserve better
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort Mortgage Balance = £0
"Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"0 -
I worked full time while doing an OU degree part-time (including two courses one year which was the equivalent of a full year at uni :eek:).
Can I have a pen please Alex.
Seriously, stop making excuses for her. You deserve better
At the risk of sounding like these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
Although I did my first degree as a fancy free 18 year old, I went on to do a second and my Masters while working full time, running a home and bringing up two children!
This could become a competition!!:rotfl:0 -
Although I did my first degree as a fancy free 18 year old, I went on to do a second and my Masters while working full time, running a home and bringing up two children!
Running a home as a single parent - two children, one dog and two pet mice :rotfl:.A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort Mortgage Balance = £0
"Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"0
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