Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Hi Brizzle,

Been there, done that and likely the rest, nor am I proud of it either. Do you tend to just go out once in the week now?

As for wanting to get debt free and most importantly STAY debt free, I sincerely do. However, Mrs. K. holds all the cards (both literally and metaphorically these days), I have very little say because my income does not cover half the bills. So, I fail to see how I can improve the situation?

I hope you have a good weekend. As for me, sadly I cannot wait until Monday.

brizzledfw

Hi Alex, not even that really. It's become a treat rather than the norm if you see what I mean.

I think you do need to keep a spending diary..even if it's just a partial picture.p co Mrs K ain't playing. Log everything you hear about, are present for and then at least you can control that.

Pen and paper will do or else you could try a a phone app. Really recommend it. It's the keystone of budgeting.

AlexLK

I understand.

With regards to the spending diary, I do think it would help if my wife was interested but as things are, I cannot see how it would do anything other than stress me out and cause (even more) animosity and resentment.

AlexLK

Well, Mrs. K. and I have had "words" about our money situation and the fact it seems she is doing everything within her control to destroy what I have managed to do. It didn't go down well and she's gone out. If we didn't have a child together, I'd be seriously considering a few weeks apart, even though I've nowhere to go.

The hardest thing is she said when I started this diary should I get us into a financial mess again, she'd be filing for a divorce. I have tried to sort things out and it's looking like I'll end up alone and poor anyway with an added conscience.

brizzledfw

Sorry to hear this. Hope nothing is irretrievable.

Thinking of you mate

debtfreewannabe321

AlexLK wrote: »

debtfreewannabe321: My comment regarding fuel was not meant to offend anybody. Nor do I see how it was negative or "snobbish"? We do use our cars a lot but both Mrs. K. and I use them for work, then we have family commitments and shopping trips as well. When the weather is nice, I walk to the post office or into the village which has little other than a post office and pub.

As for me having "far more than most", do I, really? I think not. My income likely only just about meets that of somebody working in a full time minimum wage job and I do not get any financial assistance from anywhere else, leaving me with absolutely nothing to spend on myself.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, I have read so many diaries and circumstances on here and I just feel that you do have more than most, even if you can't see it [yet]. You have family, a roof over your head (with hopefully no threat of losing it? Sorry your diary moves very quickly and I catch up where i can), you have an income, you have more than one car (I've read many a diary where they've had to sell second cars and even their main cars to get by) and although you are struggling still, you are coping. I'm debt free now but I still have very little to spend on myself still. I just see it as a fact of life at the moment with 3 kids to feed, a dog and the fact we want to move. I don't overly dwell on it and feel sorry for myself over everything. If I did i'd be back on the anti-depressants in a shot! I just feel you need to look at things from a more positive point of view and ignore the negatives.

P.s After the dramas I have had with my neighbours from hell, I am aiming to live in a village with little more than a post office and a pub again you should feel thankful you aren't in my house (or any of the thousands like it), honestly! Peace out!

AlexLK

Brizzle: Thank you. I don't know what's going on with her as of late in all honesty.

debtfreewannabe321: Thank you. No, there is no threat of losing the house (well not unless Mrs. K. does decide enough is enough but that's a different matter entirely). My wife has taken over the finances and spends an awful lot on herself, I suppose there are times I either despair as I'm trying to turn things around or times when the green eyed monster takes over somewhat.

I have real trouble seeing things from a positive point of view and see certain aspects of my life that I will never be able to repair (I doubt my parents would ever trust me with money ever again, to name one).

P.S. One thing I am truly thankful about is where I live. Do not envy your neighbours from hell one little bit.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I have very little say because my income does not cover half the bills. So, I fail to see how I can improve the situation?

Well, have a read through this and see:

• If you devote more time to the business does it not reap rewards? How do you market yourself? Whatever happened to the website - did it get up and running? If not, why not?
• You said you've lost a few music pupils recently which is understandable at this time of year. Have you done anything to find new pupils? If not, why not?
• What about furniture restoration and selling what you have already? What happened to the music stand you bought - I think you were going to sell your original one? Have you? If not, why not?
• What about the item you bought before Christmas - was it a footstool? Did you sell it on, or recover and give to parents as a gift? If not, why not?
  
• Didn't you buy a pen after a counselling session but felt better about the purchase as you could sell it at a profit? Have you? If not, why not?
• Have lost track of cars - I've a feeling there's an additional car still lurking (not your old classic, but another?) Have you sold it? If not, why not?
• Finally, back to the watches and pens...... Have you sold all the ones you were planning on selling? If not, why not?

For all you haven't actioned - start by picking one. You've said you're good at projects so treat it as one - a proper project with critical paths and everything to get to where you want. Then execute it. Then on to the next one. I think you're a bit like me - 'oh, new, shiny, fun' - new projects are great, so sorting out an SOA, making a budget and executing it and keeping a spending diary was fun - but as soon as it became business as usual you got bored. So make everything a new, shiny project and take pride in delivering it :T.

AliBee16

Alex, it sounds as if things are not good at home at the moment, and this cant be easy for you. I will not say anything bad about Mrs K, out of respect for you, but do feel that she can be slightly immature sometimes. She doesnt even appreciate that she can just 'walk out' whenever she likes, as she has you to look after Master K.
Regarding the money - it can be done. I went from a < £150k income to a £10,000 income overnight, due to separation. Writing everything down initially is a good idea as you need to know where it is going, and then you just reduce every aspect of expenditure to its absolute minimum. The MSE forum has been very valuable to me as it has information on how to reduce bills, food, etc. It's not easy - I would love to go shopping for nothing again, but I have two adult children still living with me that I still have to look after.
You should try to apply your business brain to planning - that is key. Reduce your journeys to essential, learn to cook so you can menu plan, so you can make one food journey a week, or delivery if cheaper. I spend less than £40 week for 3 adults on food.

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

Well, have a read through this and see:

Thank you, for your post. There is lots there I hadn't thought about.

gallygirl wrote: »

• If you devote more time to the business does it not reap rewards? How do you market yourself? Whatever happened to the website - did it get up and running? If not, why not?

With regards to the business, I send out information and brochures to stores that could be interested in stocking my products. I haven't got around to the website yet, if I'm honest it's mainly down to me making excuses.

gallygirl wrote: »

[*]You said you've lost a few music pupils recently which is understandable at this time of year. Have you done anything to find new pupils? If not, why not?

My wife found me the music pupils in the first instance, then a couple were by word of mouth. I haven't done anything to find new ones but ought to. As for why I haven't done anything to be honest I hadn't really thought about it.

gallygirl wrote: »

[*]What about furniture restoration and selling what you have already? What happened to the music stand you bought - I think you were going to sell your original one? Have you? If not, why not?

Not really got around to this as of yet. I've started to build a model railway for my son and that is taking up the free time that I could have devoted to doing this. The music stand has gone though.

gallygirl wrote: »

[*]What about the item you bought before Christmas - was it a footstool? Did you sell it on, or recover and give to parents as a gift? If not, why not?

I recovered it and gave it to my parents for Christmas. They were happy and it ended up being a cheap gift, win, win there.

gallygirl wrote: »

[*]Didn't you buy a pen after a counselling session but felt better about the purchase as you could sell it at a profit? Have you? If not, why not?

Not sold and I'd kind of forgotten all about it until today.

gallygirl wrote: »

[*]Have lost track of cars - I've a feeling there's an additional car still lurking (not your old classic, but another?) Have you sold it? If not, why not?

It's gone, sold on for a profit. Quite a modest one but a profit nonetheless. The money went towards the deposit Mrs. K. is saving up for her new car.

gallygirl wrote: »

[*]Finally, back to the watches and pens...... Have you sold all the ones you were planning on selling? If not, why not?

I've not sold all the ones I was planning to sell but have sold some of them. Others have been listed but I've not managed to find a buyer for at the price I think these items are worth.

gallygirl wrote: »

For all you haven't actioned - start by picking one. You've said you're good at projects so treat it as one - a proper project with critical paths and everything to get to where you want. Then execute it. Then on to the next one. I think you're a bit like me - 'oh, new, shiny, fun' - new projects are great, so sorting out an SOA, making a budget and executing it and keeping a spending diary was fun - but as soon as it became business as usual you got bored. So make everything a new, shiny project and take pride in delivering it :T.

You seem to know more about my aims than I do at the moment! Reckon I need a PA.

Yes, I do unfortunately have a long list of things I have started and never finished because I get bored very easily.

AliBee16 wrote: »

Alex, it sounds as if things are not good at home at the moment, and this cant be easy for you. I will not say anything bad about Mrs K, out of respect for you, but do feel that she can be slightly immature sometimes. She doesnt even appreciate that she can just 'walk out' whenever she likes, as she has you to look after Master K.
Regarding the money - it can be done. I went from a < £150k income to a £10,000 income overnight, due to separation. Writing everything down initially is a good idea as you need to know where it is going, and then you just reduce every aspect of expenditure to its absolute minimum. The MSE forum has been very valuable to me as it has information on how to reduce bills, food, etc. It's not easy - I would love to go shopping for nothing again, but I have two adult children still living with me that I still have to look after.
You should try to apply your business brain to planning - that is key. Reduce your journeys to essential, learn to cook so you can menu plan, so you can make one food journey a week, or delivery if cheaper. I spend less than £40 week for 3 adults on food.

Ali: Thank you. Things are not good at all, just as bad today as yesterday.

I find planning ahead difficult, especially when it is for things I do not really wish to do. However, I do acknowledge the food situation needs to change, hopefully when Mrs. K. comes on board we can start planning ahead and sorting this whole sorry mess out. On a more positive note, it would be great to know what kind of things you eat for £40 per week for three adults.