Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

I'll be fine and hopefully she will come round given time. Forgot to ask from your previous post have you had a son or daughter?

cottage_retreatist

Alex, I don't tend to post anymore but I just had to say - your comments up above are devastating to read - does Mrs K ever read your diary anymore? Because if I was her your comments would/should show me how selfish all her actions have been.

I know you don't want to hear bad words against her, which is fine, but a marriage is a partnership. Just remember that - and I wonder - if you two were in a business together - would one of you have bought the other one out by now?

AlexLK

Mrs. K. doesn't read the diary any longer and hasn't in a while as she believes we do not need to live in a frugal manner anymore. As she keeps reminding me, she earns the money so should be able to spend it.

She has many times mentioned parting ways with me before going to her brother's for a couple of days or told me she wants a divorce if I didn't do this or that. I, on the other hand, couldn't face being alone.

cottage_retreatist

alex - this is one of those moment when I just want to give you a hug - and to say - force yourself before you go to bed tonight think of something you are thankful for - think of a handful of things you are thankful for. Because I think it will be beneficial.

And leave this diary open if you have to - I get the feeling you don't speak your mind to her like you do to us but she needs to know what you're thinking and if this is the only way - - - my man doesn't like paying off debts but he understand why and more importantly that its not forever. Remember why you are doing this - for little K - and he should be the priority for both of you.
x

7roland8

Sorry to hear of the bad situation Alex.

If it were me I would definitely clear MY debts - what Mrs K runs up - leave her worry about - just make sure the cards are not in your name.

Also - I know you said you got rid of the stuff that does not mean anything t you - but I hardly think that what you are holding onto is bringing you much joy now anyway - its more a millstone round your neck.

pebbles88

AlexLK wrote: »

Mrs. K. doesn't read the diary any longer and hasn't in a while as she believes we do not need to live in a frugal manner anymore. As she keeps reminding me, she earns the money so should be able to spend it.

She has many times mentioned parting ways with me before going to her brother's for a couple of days or told me she wants a divorce if I didn't do this or that. I, on the other hand, couldn't face being alone.

I'm sorry Alex, I know you won't like this, but she's behaving like a spoilt brat. She is more bothered by what colleagues/friends/etc think about her not literally throwing money away (the hard times comment) than what her behaviour is actually causing her husband to feel.

You don't do what she wants.... She threatens to leave.... Or go for divorce.....

I can't believe I'm saying this, but bar her wages...... What non financial goodness does she add to yours & little k's lives? As in not things she can buy or provide, but things that shows that she cares?

The thought of being alone is scary, but often, the thought is scarier than the reality, you never know how strong you are until you have to be.

Xx

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I, on the other hand, couldn't face being alone.

Sounds to me like you already are very alone Alex, apart from little K

AlexLK

cottage_retreatist wrote: »

alex - this is one of those moment when I just want to give you a hug - and to say - force yourself before you go to bed tonight think of something you are thankful for - think of a handful of things you are thankful for. Because I think it will be beneficial.

And leave this diary open if you have to - I get the feeling you don't speak your mind to her like you do to us but she needs to know what you're thinking and if this is the only way - - - my man doesn't like paying off debts but he understand why and more importantly that its not forever. Remember why you are doing this - for little K - and he should be the priority for both of you.
x

Sorry I cannot come up with a coherent post but thank you and I have plenty to be thankful for.

7roland8 wrote: »

Sorry to hear of the bad situation Alex.

If it were me I would definitely clear MY debts - what Mrs K runs up - leave her worry about - just make sure the cards are not in your name.

Also - I know you said you got rid of the stuff that does not mean anything t you - but I hardly think that what you are holding onto is bringing you much joy now anyway - its more a millstone round your neck.

Thanks, roland. The cards won't be in my name because I cannot get any type of credit (is it bad that is one of the things I'm actually thankful for? :rotfl: ).

I do want to clear the debts but there seems little point in doing so at the moment, if they are only going to be built up again as in all honesty if things went sour for her I couldn't just leave her to worry about it.

Well, not all of it meant nothing to me, some of the things I got rid of early on meant an awful lot to me but back then Mrs. K. was on board and I could see an end to our constant struggle with our finances. I never thought I'd be the person in this type of situation, then again I suppose none of us did.

pebbles88 wrote: »

I'm sorry Alex, I know you won't like this, but she's behaving like a spoilt brat. She is more bothered by what colleagues/friends/etc think about her not literally throwing money away (the hard times comment) than what her behaviour is actually causing her husband to feel.

You don't do what she wants.... She threatens to leave.... Or go for divorce.....

I can't believe I'm saying this, but bar her wages...... What non financial goodness does she add to yours & little k's lives? As in not things she can buy or provide, but things that shows that she cares?

The thought of being alien is scary, but often, the thought is scarier than the reality, you never know how strong you are until you have to be.

Xx

Hi pebbles,

Thank you for your post.

Whilst I agree she is going through a "spoilt brat" phase (nothing new for her!), she has also become much closer to our son this year so far. Though we have somewhat of a tempestuous relationship, when things are good between us they really are very, very good.

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

Sounds to me like you already are very alone Alex, apart from little K

I suppose I am. However, it's nobody else's fault other than my own.

LannieDuck

AlexLK wrote: »

I'll be fine and hopefully she will come round given time. Forgot to ask from your previous post have you had a son or daughter?

A second little girl. She's lovely and is spending almost all of her time eating and sleeping