Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

bess1234_2

You could get your explorers kit out again, and then toast marshmallows over the camp fire.

I kind of hope mrs k is punishing you too, because the alternative is she really believes that taking your debt money to buy the project car before Xmas (did it sell, did you get the profit back) followed by a foreign mini break, followed by a BMW, none of which is involving her family, is normal, then at least you can stop blaming yourself for everything. Maybe after she's helped you all these years, the next phase of your marriage you will be helping her.

But unless she's eying up your inheritance( which I don't really think is true) you two have been through some pretty tough times together. Did she have post natal depression? I only ask because you often say she struggles to just feel the open joy of little k . It's more guarded, but you also say he is tHe most important thing. what point were you in your dark times when he was born? How were the early years for her.

Gosh you always get me thinking. But I always thought your emotions controlled your money, and you are doing fabulous. Life changing. Awesome

PinotGrigio41

cocalls wrote: »

hello Alex-hang in there you're doing a fab job still.

It sounds like Mrs K is punishing you for your past 'mistakes' maybe she didn't feel she could do it before as she didnt feel you were strong enough to take the punishment.So maybe that's a positive? If you see what i mean?
I second going camping with little K even if its in yours (or if not big enough your parents) back garden i loved doing that as a kid.

I third the camping trip !!

e have even been known to put the tent up indoors one year when the weather was so bad a planned trip couldn't go ahead and we bbq'd in the back garden in the rain all weekend !! The neighbours thought we were crazy, but now, many years later the girls still talk about it !! xx Maybe you and little K could do that when Mrs K is away. I Cant remember how old little K is sorry !

mum2one

can I 4th the camping trip.... xx

AlexLK

cocalls wrote: »

hello Alex-hang in there you're doing a fab job still.

It sounds like Mrs K is punishing you for your past 'mistakes' maybe she didn't feel she could do it before as she didnt feel you were strong enough to take the punishment.So maybe that's a positive? If you see what i mean?
I second going camping with little K even if its in yours (or if not big enough your parents) back garden i loved doing that as a kid.

Thank you, cocalls.

I cannot say I currently think I'm doing a great job finance wise, in fact I feel as if I'm currently failing miserably. Whilst I'm not spending on myself but our general household expenses are getting out of control again. I am considering doing another SOA if Mrs. K. will agree to her income becoming the day to day fund and mine being seen as more a "bonus" (to both of us). However, somehow I doubt she'll like that suggestion.

The debts I am currently dealing with are the last of many and the ones which I buried my head in the sand about because I was so ashamed of everything which had happened. We had to give our (previous) cars back to the finance companies at the end of the term, there were other credit cards, loans and other debt. Admittedly, I was "bailed out" of that little lot.

Onto brighter ideas, I'd love to take my son camping, even if it is in our garden!

7roland8 wrote: »

Yes we had tend for boys in garden years ago.

Also all the Famous Five stories on audio on Youtube if you want to get in the mood!

Some of the more happy memories from my childhood too were spent camping in the garden with friends (I was quite a bit older than my son though).

Thank you for the youtube tip, I never think to look on there for things but it is amazing what can be found.

bess1234 wrote: »

You could get your explorers kit out again, and then toast marshmallows over the camp fire.

I kind of hope mrs k is punishing you too, because the alternative is she really believes that taking your debt money to buy the project car before Xmas (did it sell, did you get the profit back) followed by a foreign mini break, followed by a BMW, none of which is involving her family, is normal, then at least you can stop blaming yourself for everything. Maybe after she's helped you all these years, the next phase of your marriage you will be helping her.

But unless she's eying up your inheritance( which I don't really think is true) you two have been through some pretty tough times together. Did she have post natal depression? I only ask because you often say she struggles to just feel the open joy of little k . It's more guarded, but you also say he is tHe most important thing. what point were you in your dark times when he was born? How were the early years for her.

Gosh you always get me thinking. But I always thought your emotions controlled your money, and you are doing fabulous. Life changing. Awesome

The explorers kit gets lots of use, I can assure you that! However, always looking for new ideas.

The project car sold and we made a nice profit on it. I'm not sure she is trying to "punish" me as such but is as a consequence of her actions. My wife likes the finer things in life; always has, likely always will.

She assures me that she's never suffered from any type of depression but she found motherhood particularly difficult in the early stages. I was in a really bad place at the time of our son's birth and well into his first year, couldn't face going out of the house for most of the time. He is indeed the most important thing in the world to me, I hope he will not drift away as he gets older but that he does wise up realising that I am really not an example to follow.

I certainly hope I am beginning to change things for the better.

AlexLK

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

I third the camping trip !!

e have even been known to put the tent up indoors one year when the weather was so bad a planned trip couldn't go ahead and we bbq'd in the back garden in the rain all weekend !! The neighbours thought we were crazy, but now, many years later the girls still talk about it !! xx Maybe you and little K could do that when Mrs K is away. I Cant remember how old little K is sorry !

That sounds fantastic. We had our first BBQ of the year on Sunday and I'm hoping this weather stays. My son is 3 (and almost four months) old.

mum2one wrote: »

can I 4th the camping trip.... xx

You most certainly can!

brizzledfw

Stay focused Alex..you're doing great.

Camping is a great way to spend time with kids..in the garden, on a site, freedom camping even...we have done loads and it's (still) some of our happiest family times.

Have a good day

oceanspirit

Alex, you have come a long, long way since you set out on your debt free journey and it's only natural that you are feeling a little bit down whilst the momentum has slowed.

The positives of your current situation:

you have paid off nearly two thirds of your debts in just 4 months
the remaining debt is a smaller, more manageable amount
there is income from your music teaching
there is potential within your business for earning money
you have successfully bought a car and sold it for a profit
you have successfully sold items on ebay
your wife is dealing with the day to day finances of running your family's home which frees you up to focus on increasing your income and decreasing your debt
spending time with your son (which is free!) makes you and he happy

The antidote for despair is action.

So what can you do with the abovementioned successful earners to increase your income over the next few months in order to make a contribution to household expenses and also chip away at your debt day by day? Even if it's only a £1 payment, you will see it slowly diminish and that in turn will improve your mood.

So Alex, back into the driving seat with you! We're right there with you.

AlexLK

brizzled: Thank you and I'm rather looking forward to a camping trip sometime soon, even if it's a local exploring the countryside type of break.

oceanspirit: The antidote for despair is indeed action. However, I'm afraid to say I have become all too philosophical during the last few days and we all know that the aim of such a pursuit is the eventual acquisition of knowing everything about nothing.

I'm one of those people who has to force themselves to "do", lest I fall into the trap of merely thinking. Mrs. K. is a "doer", yet is bereft of a thinking intellect. She likes things that fit into a formula, adding up neatly to reach a undisputed answer. A solution. I do not search for concrete solutions, preferring to find a greater understanding that cannot be quantified into some simple one size fits all formula. Thus making the particular pursuit of debt clearing and perhaps even eventual wealth (whatever that is) a difficult one for somebody such as I.

AlexLK

Tuesday 11th March, 2014.

Dear Diary,

In neglecting you, I am in turn neglecting my very purpose of keeping you: my daily financial summaries have gone for I cannot face the figures once again. That little embarrassing fact that the family guilty of spending more than they earn is the very person staring back at you at each morning in that old wooden framed mirror.

The only different this time being that you are no longer the decision maker, that last little assurance of innate superiority afforded to you has been taken. Now, you are powerless with the lessons you have learned from the mistakes mocking you from afar and yet still you document the projected progress you have not managed to deliver.

Summary:
-£LOTS.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Mrs. K. is
bereft of a thinking intellect.

I'd certainly agree with that! I understand why you feel the need to support MrsK but I don't think I've read a single poster (never mind lurkers) on here that would agree with her actions. Going off on an indulgent holiday is so....indulgent!


OK so she wants an expensive holiday to escape from her problems. Let her go but treat it (inwardly maybe) with the contempt it deserves. Take the high moral ground show that you have your priorities right and arrange a fun time for you and LittleK. I'm fourthing or fifthing camping but make it into a bit of a fun trip. Maybe the coast which is a bit different from where you live. I'd even sanction a bit of additional spending for it.;)


Sorry Alex but I'm getting so :mad: at the way you seem to accept/explain all MrsK's outrageous, selfish behaviour as acceptable. It's not.


Rant over:o but when are you going to stop telling us and yourself that you've done wrong in the past (which I don't necessarily understand or agree with) and must accept it for ever after.