Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Friday 7th March, 2014.

Dear Diary,

First of all I wish to apologise for neglecting you and failing to respond to everybody's posts. I have read them and will respond tomorrow with my only excuse being I have been terribly busy with both my work and family commitments.

Unfortunately, this has meant that debt busting as well as MSE has had to take the metaphorical "back seat" in my life, one that is on my mind and agenda to address. Yes, it feels as if financially I am getting nowhere fast and much of me wishes to go back to the days where my wife and I shared all of our money, without any "hers" or "mine". Mrs. K. doesn't want this at the moment even though I seem to have turned a corner so far as financial responsibility is concerned.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

Magsnoodle

Bless you Alex.

Keep plugging away. That last entry sounded a little despondent. You are doing brilliantly and it is for all of you: just on your own at the moment....

Hope things are ok...

Sending hugs down the wires (((((HUGS))))

AlexLK

Despondent is probably the right word in all honesty. Had another unexpectedly busy day and through reflecting upon our finances have realised we are once again failing to live within our means. On the plus side, I haven't spent anything purely on myself since last year.

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

Despondent is probably the right word in all honesty. Had another unexpectedly busy day and through reflecting upon our finances have realised we are once again failing to live within our means. On the plus side, I haven't spent anything purely on myself since last year.

thats brilliant that you have not spent anything on extras.... but the problem lies with this "flipping" car choice of Mrs K.. I can understand that you want to put the money back into the business from buying the car - but u need to deal with this as a couple and that means dealing with money as a couple. Mrs K wants this 39k car - then she needs to fund it herself not out of the housekeeping etc, sorry to sound harsh, there is a lot of thingd I'd love, yes were having a holiday of a lifetime - but thats been funded from Tesco vouchers, help from family, and a damm lot of ebaying and car-booting, still short of the cost and need to pay my mum that back, but it was back-braking getting up for 6am unloading car - but we had to do it.

I think Mrs K, needs a reality check with finances, your a couple not a pair of housemates contributing x,y z to the household.

Sorry but its tough love, x

AlexLK

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

It's great to see how your attitude is developing (and improving) towards managing your money.

Regarding Little K mixing with 15 year olds in a state secondary, that is a worry you can take off the list. In 10 years experience working in secondary schools I have hardly ever seen Year 7 mixing with year 10 (that would be 11 and 15 year olds).

They certainly have no interest in each other socially, and extra curricular activities are arranged on a year group basis. Any mixing of year groups is likely to only be with the year above.

I remember being at school at the same time as my younger brother, and we certainly had nothing to do with each other, it's not cool

Thank you.

Unfortunately, we are not doing particularly well at the moment and not managing to live within our means. I don't seem to be managing to earn much at all despite trying for the moment.

CloseLobster wrote: »

Alex, you are enjoying working in a school teaching music, and are concerned about where Little K does his education, so why not join the dots - and train to be a qualified teacher? You will be able to enjoy the school holidays with your son, you'll have a professional career and if you work in the private sector - might be able to get a discount on the fees.

Thank you. Whilst not a choice for me to make for now, it may well be on the cards in 5 or so years time.

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

Hi Alex, how are you doing ?

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before re the school subject so I apologise if I have.

We sent DD1 to Independent school at 3 1/2 , she loved it, cost us a small fortune. Then DD2 came along and we were concerned as to how we would pay for her as well. To cut a long story short we then moved house. I could have kept DD1 at the Independent school with a fairly long journey each day but decided to look at the state schools of which there were five locally. I took her with me and between us made the decision that we would take her out of the independent school and pop her into the State one. We have intermittently paid for tuition admittedly for Maths which isn't her strongest subject. We still have friends who stayed at the original fee paying school of the same age as her. They are all sitting their GCSEs this summer. DD1 is on target to achieve similar grades, is just as happy and her future is looking as rosie as theirs. I have been asked many a time if I have any regrets removing her from Private Education and I can honestly say I haven't. We have had the odd problem but no more or less than friends with children in Private Schools. Infact there are bigger drug and drink problems there where the children are far more privileged and money isn't an option and dished out willy nilly to the children. That worries me far more than their grades if Im honest.

As far as Classics go, at my DD's school it can be studied in year 11 and then at A level. I would seriously consider thinking about the state schools, maybe go for a look around and ask some questions.Take Little K with you and see how he reacts. Thats always very telling in my opinion no matter how little they are. If they appear comfortable in their surroundings it says alot about the school I feel. Then maybe consider some extra tuition should the need arise. As far as mixing with older pupils as has been said before its not that likely. DD1 in Year 11 now mixes a little with the years above and below as does DD2 who is currently in year 8 , but certainly no older than that and they don't attend the same parties, social events outside of school.

I do think the whole education area is food for thought for you. I can understand why you want the little one privately educated but its not always the best choice and I would weigh up all options available to you personally.

Take Care Alex xx

Hi Pinot!

I am not doing so great in all honesty. How are you? I hope things are looking somewhat better for you.

Thank you for your insight, I had not (or do not recall) hearing this before and it does give me some food for thought. Still, I must admit I am struggling to see past what I want to happen and what would be financially better for us.

In all honesty, I never thought I'd be that person who makes do with what they have, hoping things won't get any worse.

AlexLK

pebbles88 wrote: »

Work is a difficult place for pretty much everyone nowadays... Companies wanting to save money, so staff being expected to take on additional work .. Etc etc yada yada...

:eek:
but!!! most of us wouldn't decide we needed a very expensive break to be able to cope with it. :eek:

Nor could most of us afford it anyway, I make do with curling up with my lovely Oh, watching an incredibly silly film to make me laugh, and then something lovely like spending time with oh's son playing board games Or going for a nice walk with great company.

I'm sorry if I've not said that the best way I could. It's just you've worked very hard, & had to face a lot of things that haven't been nice during the last few months, & it seems she is trying to demoralise you or just doesn't care about how things are going for you all as a family.

Don't get me wrong, 'things' are great at the time, but at the end of the day... They mean very little compared to your family.

I think whatever you choose for little K will be fine, as it's obvious you will always invest time into helping him learn & understand as much as he can. You might not always feel it, but we can all see how good a father you are.

(((Hugs)))

Hi pebbles and thank you,

Mrs. K. just needs a bit of time away on her own for a few days as a few things that are going on at work are really beginning to get to her and she has had enough of us "being good" so far as the finances are concerned.

I know "things" mean very little compared to our families (may have not realised this until recently).

mum2one wrote: »

thats brilliant that you have not spent anything on extras.... but the problem lies with this "flipping" car choice of Mrs K.. I can understand that you want to put the money back into the business from buying the car - but u need to deal with this as a couple and that means dealing with money as a couple. Mrs K wants this 39k car - then she needs to fund it herself not out of the housekeeping etc, sorry to sound harsh, there is a lot of thingd I'd love, yes were having a holiday of a lifetime - but thats been funded from Tesco vouchers, help from family, and a damm lot of ebaying and car-booting, still short of the cost and need to pay my mum that back, but it was back-braking getting up for 6am unloading car - but we had to do it.

I think Mrs K, needs a reality check with finances, your a couple not a pair of housemates contributing x,y z to the household.

Sorry but its tough love, x

mum2one,

Thank you for your response. Mrs. K. puts nothing above the wellbeing of our son; she maybe treating this as an opportunity to show me I can do without but money does not come out of the housekeeping (by that I presume you are talking about our monthly bills) to fund her car deposit.

7roland8

This may sound harsh but just because Mrs K has work problems is no reason to run away on a holiday and leave your child and husband.

Are you and little K going to get to take a break on your own too - book somewhere for the two of you for before the Easter hols!! How about camping - he'd love that!!

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

This may sound harsh but just because Mrs K has work problems is no reason to run away on a holiday and leave your child and husband.

Are you and little K going to get to take a break on your own too - book somewhere for the two of you for before the Easter hols!! How about camping - he'd love that!!

I understand where you are coming from and have perhaps had thoughts along the same lines over the past few days. However, she sees no problem with it.

He would indeed love to go camping. I'd definitely like to take him one day as I hope his interest in the natural world stays for many years to come.

cocalls

hello Alex-hang in there you're doing a fab job still.

It sounds like Mrs K is punishing you for your past 'mistakes' maybe she didn't feel she could do it before as she didnt feel you were strong enough to take the punishment.So maybe that's a positive? If you see what i mean?
I second going camping with little K even if its in yours (or if not big enough your parents) back garden i loved doing that as a kid.

7roland8

Yes we had tend for boys in garden years ago.

Also all the Famous Five stories on audio on Youtube if you want to get in the mood!