Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

heartbreak_star

Agreed...justifying it "because she had to put up with you"? I'm sure she's benefitted from your past reckless spending too...

HBS x

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I'd certainly agree with that! I understand why you feel the need to support MrsK but I don't think I've read a single poster (never mind lurkers) on here that would agree with her actions. Going off on an indulgent holiday is so....indulgent!

OK so she wants an expensive holiday to escape from her problems. Let her go but treat it (inwardly maybe) with the contempt it deserves. Take the high moral ground show that you have your priorities right and arrange a fun time for you and LittleK. I'm fourthing or fifthing camping but make it into a bit of a fun trip. Maybe the coast which is a bit different from where you live. I'd even sanction a bit of additional spending for it.;)

Sorry Alex but I'm getting so :mad: at the way you seem to accept/explain all MrsK's outrageous, selfish behaviour as acceptable. It's not.

Rant over:o but when are you going to stop telling us and yourself that you've done wrong in the past (which I don't necessarily understand or agree with) and must accept it for ever after.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Agreed...justifying it "because she had to put up with you"? I'm sure she's benefitted from your past reckless spending too...

HBS x

Thank you both for your support. Unfortunately, I was a thoroughly unpleasant excuse for a human being both when my wife met me and married me. She deserves much more than I could even give her for "putting up with me".

That said, with our situation at the moment I'm not exactly pleased with the amount my wife is spending and of her holiday plans. Only today did she announce that she might be interested in joining her brother and his family on another holiday this summer and taking our son, yet in the same breath disagreeing to a week by the coast because she "has no desire to holiday here".

Magsnoodle

Hey Mr K,

I'm not going to respond directly to the last post about the holiday thing as I think there will be others that will give their thoughts on that. The only question I have is this? Do you and Mrs K spend any time together on your own without little K? Even going for a walk through the woods?

I hear what you say about being a horrid human being but you know you have obviously changed or are trying to and the worst thing is you are beating yourself over and over again with that stick!!!!! This is a waste of a negative emotion that will eat at your heart and not allow you space to continue to grow and develop as you now are. You need to look carefully at what oceanspirit wrote about the positives you have going for you. She(sorry?) obviously took time to read through a lot of your posts to gather that together. What about cutting it out and putting it somewhere you can refer back to on a regular basis or when you need to as a constant reminder of the immense hike you have begun and how much you have conquered?

YOU ARE DOING BLOOMIN BRILLIANTLY!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!


(((((((((MASSIVE HUGS)))))))))))

AlexLK

Magsnoodle: Mrs. K. and I very rarely spend any time to ourselves. However, I am unsure the relevance of this?

Whilst I am trying to make amends, it is very hard to come to terms with the past for various reasons even though I am striving to move forwards with sorting my finances out.

pebbles88

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you both for your support. Unfortunately, I was a thoroughly unpleasant excuse for a human being both when my wife met me and married me. She deserves much more than I could even give her for "putting up with me".

That said, with our situation at the moment I'm not exactly pleased with the amount my wife is spending and of her holiday plans. Only today did she announce that she might be interested in joining her brother and his family on another holiday this summer and taking our son, yet in the same breath disagreeing to a week by the coast because she "has no desire to holiday here".

Alex, please stop thinking that she deserves things for putting up with you. Mrs K chose to marry you, she wanted to marry you. that love brought a much loved little boy into the world. Marriage isn't something you put up with just for the financial rewards.

The best reward is having a family to cherish, spending time & doing things together. Perhaps enjoying a cup of tea in bed on a Sunday morning reading the papers , making a lovely breakfast together, perhaps pancakes with little k, then a lovely walk all wrapped up snuggly & warm -could be anywhere, go to the park to feed the ducks, wander along a woodland trail & challenge little k to who can spot the most birds or flowers kind of thing.

Simple, cost free things - that can sometimes create the most amazing memories to treasure..... & a fab picture opportunity that could be made into a canvas to hang in your home to make you all smile every time you see it.

As for the holiday comments.... I'm flabbergasted. May I ask one thing....when mrs k mentioned about the hols & taking little k, were you invited also?

Magsnoodle wrote: »

Hey Mr K,

I'm not going to respond directly to the last post about the holiday thing as I think there will be others that will give their thoughts on that. The only question I have is this? Do you and Mrs K spend any time together on your own without little K? Even going for a walk through the woods?

I hear what you say about being a horrid human being but you know you have obviously changed or are trying to and the worst thing is you are beating yourself over and over again with that stick!!!!! This is a waste of a negative emotion that will eat at your heart and not allow you space to continue to grow and develop as you now are. You need to look carefully at what oceanspirit wrote about the positives you have going for you. She(sorry?) obviously took time to read through a lot of your posts to gather that together. What about cutting it out and putting it somewhere you can refer back to on a regular basis or when you need to as a constant reminder of the immense hike you have begun and how much you have conquered?

YOU ARE DOING BLOOMIN BRILLIANTLY!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!


(((((((((MASSIVE HUGS)))))))))))

Wish I could thank this more than once! You really have come so far Alex, we're all proud as punch of you :D

AlexLK wrote: »

Magsnoodle: Mrs. K. and I very rarely spend any time to ourselves. However, I am unsure the relevance of this?.

I think magsnoodle mentioned it as apart from your shared love of classic cars, there hasn't been any talk of things that you & mrs k do as a couple. That relationship is just as important as your relationship as parents with little k, both need time & nurturing to be able to flourish iyswim?

AlexLK

Saturday 15th March, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Financially things seem to be going from bad to worse; we are once again spending money like there's no tomorrow, only there is and we cannot seem to help ourselves. The "wants" are resting all too heavily on both the minds of Mrs. K. and myself.

Unfortunately, I have also had a few people discontinuing music lessons due to their own financial problems and my business doesn't seem to be looking particularly rosy at the moment, either. All this means our income is pretty much back to square one as we can only really live on Mrs. K.'s wages and I cannot help but wonder how much longer this is going to go on for as in all honesty, whilst I am full of ideas, my motivation to see anything through is sliding; just as the payments on the cards are to be going back to being interest bearing.

Summary:
I dare not report, "real" MSE'ers would be disgusted.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

mum2one

hey you've had a lot going on and if push came to shove you could manage short term on Mrs K wages, she would need to pull her head out of the I want, I can have, coe back to earth and start being a proper family sorry to be blunt, but yes you say you did, x,y,z, but this is a marriage and there are 2 people in a marriage.

Sorry about the tail off of the music lesson, its also down to the time of the year as school trips, family holidays, then the family budget get adjusted and non essentials go hence childrens activities.

As for your business, - is it that you need to look at other avenues, you've not had time, or the recession???

Money it sounds like you need to adjust the budgets and go month by month.

Did you manage to get anywhere with the cards, you say they have gone back to interest bearing, are they expecting full payments again? x

AlexLK

mum2one: Thank you for the encouragement.

We could survive on Mrs. K.'s wages, I'm sure as there's plenty of families on here surviving on less but she's got use to the idea of having what she wants, when she wants. So far as her family are concerned it is my job to look after her and not her job to be constantly footing the essential bills. I suppose my wife has realised she could have it better doing things their way.

In all honesty, I need to take a few steps back and get on with the things I started.

We do need to adjust our budget. However, things are getting closer now (Mrs. K.'s car, her holiday, even our son starting real school).

The cards are expecting full payments again, mainly because I have not had the inclination to contact them and try to extend the reduced payments. Yet again I've been burying my head in the sand not being able to deal with it. I do want to deal with it but once I get the 'phone into my hands, I cannot bare to dial the number.

PinotGrigio41

AlexLK wrote: »

mum2one: Thank you for the encouragement.

We could survive on Mrs. K.'s wages, I'm sure as there's plenty of families on here surviving on less but she's got use to the idea of having what she wants, when she wants. So far as her family are concerned it is my job to look after her and not her job to be constantly footing the essential bills. I suppose my wife has realised she could have it better doing things their way.

In all honesty, I need to take a few steps back and get on with the things I started.

We do need to adjust our budget. However, things are getting closer now (Mrs. K.'s car, her holiday, even our son starting real school).

The cards are expecting full payments again, mainly because I have not had the inclination to contact them and try to extend the reduced payments. Yet again I've been burying my head in the sand not being able to deal with it. I do want to deal with it but once I get the 'phone into my hands, I cannot bare to dial the number.

Dont phone them Alex, write to them. Far easier than trying to find the inclination to phone them. xxx

AlexLK

Thank you, PG.

I wrote to them all in the first instance and can't believe I forgot I said on here I was not going to 'phone them and correspond through the post (which I did). Really not thinking straight at the moment.