Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Magsnoodle

Hey Alex,

Keep your head high and just keep gently plugging away at her. I'm the main earner here with my husband due to retire in November 2015 and no, not a high earner at all..... And I'm the one who will have us in debt as he is the sensible one.

Good luck and you have had some cracking advice on here just remember why you fell in love and don't let that get lost in some of this rubbishy stuff

Pepperoni

Hi Alex.

When reading about the attitude of your wife regarding your debt, I wondered what her views would be when the debt she is accumulating comes back to bite her in the bum? I.e. will she be happy for you to take the stance she has? Would you?

I'm with others who have said that in a marriage finances should be joint. It makes me sad that she isn't being as supportive as she could be. I understand it must be hard for her, but I do feel she should just suck it up, help you get out of debt, then you can BOTH be happy and carefree. Isn't that what anyone wants for their other half, to help lighten the burden? I know I'd hate for my husband to be sat worrying about debt whilst I was out spending money like there was no tomorrow.

AlexLK

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Hello Alex and everyone!

Here I am again!

You made me smile! I am loving your new found positive attitude! woohoo!
Money is just money indeed, it has value but you cannot be define by it! Money will follow to those who live by their passion (your piano teaching).

Uff I am also loving the suggestions given to you about exploring your surroundings by pretending you are a tourist! I have done that all my life! ha ha ha :-)
Sometimes I wonder if you spend a lot of time on your own, yes you visit your parents on Sundays, you go out with little K :-) but you hardly go out with your wife! 'being left on your own whilst they went shopping' doesn't seem a rare event...So, I think you could think of reaching out?
I noticed that that there are several free networking events in Manchester! Perhaps there is one in relation to antique furniture! I bet there is! :-)

Sending you positive vibes!

Hi Iwillsucceed,

I am trying to remain as positive as is possible and focused on my work. It isn't easy and I keep slipping into old habits but I am finding that trying to find the positive in things is lifting my general outlook somewhat.

Yes, I spend a lot of time on my own and don't see many different people (apart from my customers). However, I was the one to alienate myself from all those I previously called friends.

brizzledfw wrote: »

Hi Alex

Have to say that I earn stacks more than Mr B..but the point is everything is joint...so it's a joint debt too. Yes for ages he knew nothing..for the boring details read my diary..but it was a relief now we are working together, towards a common goal of being DF. And it's been brutally hard but we are almost there. And..we still have fun on the way, but different fun. It involves much less shopping!:)

As a fervent supporter of state education and knowing how good many Derbyshire schools are...have you even looked at them? Getting into the private sector will be a millstone for years to come. Most kids I have met thrive in the state sector. Maybe it's not like when you were young? Sorry if that's too personal a comment for a newbie on your thread ( we hardly know each other but it just seems like it could be a financial car crash unless you get the debts ( both of you) under control first.

Hugs anyway

Brizzle

Hi Brizzle,

I'll have a read of your diary. Mrs. K. and I had joint finances for many years but now she has decided that it is unfair on her and I understand.

In regard to the education debate, we have looked into educating our son in the state sector.

brizzledfw wrote: »

Crossed post..but do look closely. A huge variety of activities are such a young age is the not the end of the world. Your DS spending lots of time either his parents is just as, in fact, more important

I fully understand where you are coming from. However, academically the state run schools around here do not offer such a broad curriculum as a good prep school would.

AlexLK

Magsnoodle wrote: »

Hey Alex,

Keep your head high and just keep gently plugging away at her. I'm the main earner here with my husband due to retire in November 2015 and no, not a high earner at all..... And I'm the one who will have us in debt as he is the sensible one.

Good luck and you have had some cracking advice on here just remember why you fell in love and don't let that get lost in some of this rubbishy stuff

Sorry I do not have much else to say to your wise words other than thank you.

Pepperoni wrote: »

Hi Alex.

When reading about the attitude of your wife regarding your debt, I wondered what her views would be when the debt she is accumulating comes back to bite her in the bum? I.e. will she be happy for you to take the stance she has? Would you?

I'm with others who have said that in a marriage finances should be joint. It makes me sad that she isn't being as supportive as she could be. I understand it must be hard for her, but I do feel she should just suck it up, help you get out of debt, then you can BOTH be happy and carefree. Isn't that what anyone wants for their other half, to help lighten the burden? I know I'd hate for my husband to be sat worrying about debt whilst I was out spending money like there was no tomorrow.

Hi,

In all honesty, I do not know what she'd expect from me. However, unlike me, I know she will be fine and won't end up letting things get into a mess.

Unfortunately, I have not been very nice in the past and have previously put her through an awful lot. Therefore I understand her stance on this matter and try not to be jealous or resentful, can't say I always manage though.

brizzledfw

Am sure this one will run but if she can't forgive..and move on...and if you can't stop feeling guilty about getting into the debt ( and any past misdemeanours) then seems like this is a v big nut to crack.

Best of luck anyway and here's to a good MSE week for all of us on these threads

AlexLK

Brizzled: My wife and I have many times considered parting company but we both love one and other dearly (goodness knows what she ever saw in me). Therefore, I am willing to take the "punishment", that is having a very limited access to money, for my mistakes.

brizzledfw

Have a good week Alex

AlexLK

Thank you and you too.

AlexLK

Sunday 2nd March, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Well spring is here and it is raining cats and dogs. So an afternoon which was meant to be spent in the great outdoors was spent inside cleaning our house, what an interesting life we lead. There is a part of me that hopes everything could go back to as it was before with our personal finances but I see Mrs. K.'s point of view as well. Here's to hoping she starts to become a little more careful with money because having thought what I'd do should she find it all becoming another big mess, I know I couldn't stand back, instead being obliged to help. Well, that's enough of the doom mongering, as I'm sure she has a much more sensible head on her shoulders than I ever had.

On the debt busting front, I've a few items with watchers on eBay but no bids as of yet which leads me wonder if I am asking a bit too much for things.

Summary:
No Spend Day (for the two of us).

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

Magsnoodle

See the day has ended on a bright note - NSD - well done.... Keep smiling and good luck for the week ahead