Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Emmala

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Also regarding happiness - I detest myself. I am getting on, overweight, under-tall, boring haircut, dress in black all the time because I hate the way I look in clothes, and weird skin.

Many people my age are in management jobs or similar. I'm a low-rung engineer.

BUT...my body works, I have all my limbs and organs and they all work, and I'm in generally good health.

My job pays the bills, with a little left over, and I quite enjoy it, plus my coaching makes me smile.

Again, it's about being grateful for what you have. Jealousy and anger just eat you up. You'd probably hate yourself less if you could stop being jealous of the wealth you perceive others to have.

HBS x

Totally agree, well said x

AlexLK

HBS: I never said my "friends" are "real friends", did I? As for my parents, I have disappointed them and to be honest, they have every right to be disappointed. I'd be disappointed of me. However, there are some things that are good, if only I could forget about what society perceives to be successful.

Molly: No, I cannot tell. However, I do not wish to be thought of as "poor".

Going by your own standards you seem to have quite the superiority complex yourself.

Goldiegirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Isn't there? Well, I'm ashamed of myself. I didn't quite make it, did I? The world tells me "it's alright, there's nothing to be ashamed of" in that little awkward voice, along with a "never mind it must be nice to spend all that time at home" *slight sneer*, as they thank God it was not them who fell.



I hope I do not sound as if all I want from my parents in an inheritance because that is simply not true. Unfortunately, you are right about happiness though, how can someone who hates himself be happy? Well, he can't.

There is a part of me that knows I can do this debt free life, had a no spend day today and have generally been spending a lot less money lately, I just think there's a ticking time bomb waiting to go off and staying debt free (which is the whole point of this), will be an awful challenge.

Re what the world tells you..... You are choosing to perceive their voice as a sneer. Maybe if you listened carefully they are rather envious that you have an alternative lifestyle, and would rather like to be brave enough to take a step back from the rat-race.

bess1234_2

Thought I would say happy new year and see how you were doing.

Do you believe money will cure your depression?
Will it stop you drinking and therefore being bleak?
Will it make your parents show you love?

Sorry hon. It just won't. You are wrong. Time for you to let your counsellor in.

When little k has a tantrum you stand firm because if you don't he grows into a teenager who is revolting in demanding their own way, and a 30 year old who whines that he wants to spend money he doesn't have. Whose money do you expect to spend Alex? If you want to spend it, go and earn it. Do you expect people to sympathise with grown men thinking it's ok to behave like a toddler.

I'm sorry your mum gave you everything you ever asked for, and taught you money was the answer to everything . Stop looking for emotional things your parents can't give. I think you know how messed up they are which is why you stick by them. When you can accept their failures, you become an adult, and can focus on not failing little k.

I might pop in in 3 months if I'm passing, enjoy 2014.

Goldiegirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm don't have a need to "laugh at other people", yes there are certain demographics of society I look down upon but I'm positive I'm not the only one.



.

For some bizarre reason you've just reminded me of the old John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett sketch.

No sure if you are familiar with it, as it's way before your time. But it says a lot about class and is very funny. I'm not sure if we've moved on much from the 60's !

heartbreak_star

If your parents are disappointed in a son who has given them a lovely grandchild and runs a business, that's their sorry problem, not yours Alex!

You do have to stop being the puppy or kitten that brings them shiny things! My mum used to be like that, a bit anyway, till she realised I'm an adult now.

Are you still having counselling? This is the kind of stuff you need to be telling them You CAN do it...and best to do it now

HBS x

AlexLK

Monday 6th January, 2013.
Day 131.

Dear Diary,

We are all slaves to pieces of dirty paper circulating around the world with arbitrary numbers on them. Without those bits of paper, nobody in the UK could survive; we use the bits of paper for every part of life one can think of. These bits of paper keep a roof over our heads, gives us means to power our houses, buys us anything we can "afford" and defines our worth into a nice, quantifiable method. As a society, we like quantities, numbers, graphs and charts. We like to pigeon-hole individuals into little boxes based on where he or she lives, their age, sex, race and even by one's so-called "socio-economic" status. Yet, in reality, what is privileged? What is disadvantaged? Is one person's definition different to another's? Of course it is. Quantities do not really mean a lot, for as many that fit neatly into a nice little box there is somebody who will not.

Society and as a consequence government likes rules, neat little boxes, an idea that he fits there, and she there and that old couple over there fits somewhere else on an arbitrary map of "worth". Even as small children who know very little about our surroundings, we are placed into some neat little box on some economist's spreadsheet. I have "too much" time on my hands, too much time to think, consider and philosophise but who says what amount of time is too much time? I owe some large corporations arbitrary figures and for this "sin" I am labelled a "debtor". Society tells me I've a moral obligation to pay this arbitrary figure back to the large corporation whom likely owes the arbitrary figure to another being.

I, like many others before me, have chased these arbitrary figures, thinking they are the key to an unquantifiable entity known as "happiness" and if I have learned anything from this diary it is that money is not that key. Now, if I could only stop wasting that "too much" time on my hands thinking about it.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

AlexLK

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Re what the world tells you..... You are choosing to perceive their voice as a sneer. Maybe if you listened carefully they are rather envious that you have an alternative lifestyle, and would rather like to be brave enough to take a step back from the rat-race.

Thank you for the message, I do not know who is right. There's quite the part of me that hopes it is you.

bess1234 wrote: »

Thought I would say happy new year and see how you were doing.

Do you believe money will cure your depression?
Will it stop you drinking and therefore being bleak?
Will it make your parents show you love?

Sorry hon. It just won't. You are wrong. Time for you to let your counsellor in.

When little k has a tantrum you stand firm because if you don't he grows into a teenager who is revolting in demanding their own way, and a 30 year old who whines that he wants to spend money he doesn't have. Whose money do you expect to spend Alex? If you want to spend it, go and earn it. Do you expect people to sympathise with grown men thinking it's ok to behave like a toddler.

I'm sorry your mum gave you everything you ever asked for, and taught you money was the answer to everything . Stop looking for emotional things your parents can't give. I think you know how messed up they are which is why you stick by them. When you can accept their failures, you become an adult, and can focus on not failing little k.

I might pop in in 3 months if I'm passing, enjoy 2014.

Happy New Year, Bess.

Not quite sure what to say to your post in all honesty, only than to say I disagree with some points but can see how you may have come to the conclusions you have.

Goldiegirl wrote: »

For some bizarre reason you've just reminded me of the old John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett sketch.

No sure if you are familiar with it, as it's way before your time. But it says a lot about class and is very funny. I'm not sure if we've moved on much from the 60's !

:rotfl: Yes, I know what you're talking about.

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

If your parents are disappointed in a son who has given them a lovely grandchild and runs a business, that's their sorry problem, not yours Alex!

You do have to stop being the puppy or kitten that brings them shiny things! My mum used to be like that, a bit anyway, till she realised I'm an adult now.

Are you still having counselling? This is the kind of stuff you need to be telling them You CAN do it...and best to do it now

HBS x

To be honest, I feel guilty for failing them too but thank you for your positivity.

Yes, I'm still having counselling though had a couple of weeks off over the Christmas period, back to it on Thursday. I'm not sure what you are telling me I should be telling them? My parents have nothing to do with my issues with depression.

Mara_uk7

Alex, listen to what you're saying .... Your parents have a whole lot to do with your emotional state. They have made you what and who you are today.