Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

LannieDuck

AlexLK wrote: »

If we do the party at my parents' house, Mrs. K.'s family need not be invited. However, she seems to want them there.

Of course she wants them there. Just as much as I assume you'd like to invite your parents.

Iwillsucceed_2

Ha ha ha ha! I, He, we walked away from my parent's in-law house..no regret! ha ha ha ... My mother in-law was so upset as expected but it was short lived... she had a time to reflect on her behaviour!
We are communicating, she realised that I live by certain values and RESPECT is at the top! I am the mummy of my children! When she volunteered to pay form my children's private education I said NO! :-)






Ah, I see where you are coming from now, Iwillsucceed! Sorry about my previous posts.

Admittedly, I really don't wish to lose contact with parents.

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Definitely better to have a kids party in your own house.

No one will be checking the decor (I went to one once with only two rooms finished - the kids had a great time!!).

Also they will run around and make a mess and possibly break things - spill food on carpets - will your mum want that?

LannieDuck wrote: »

Apologies for the multiple posts. I've just read your diary entry again, and felt obliged to make another comment on the bit in bold.

That's really patronising of your parents. They're dismissing your ideas because they believe 'they know better'. It sounds like they've decided what they want to do (and it includes showing off their house), and they're ignoring the fact that Little K might just love a small treasure hunt.

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Ah Alex, its traditional to have a birthday party at home, tell your parents that you are inviting nursery pals, that should be enough for mum and dad to back off ! After all, who knows what kind of people your guests may be ... After all, they may steal the silver !!
If anyone is so shallow as to look down on your home, they are not worth having as a friend.

Parents have got it "all worked out" (right down to food being served in the conservatory ) and know about the nursery friends, they'd like to meet them apparently.

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you and yes, I see your point. Mrs. K. wants to have the get together here as she wants to invite both sets of grandparents and doesn't see the point in having our son's birthday party anywhere else. To an extent I agree. However, I also see my parents' point: their house is much nicer than mine and whilst the people we invite may look down on my place, I doubt they'd do such a thing at parents' house.

theoretica wrote: »

You do realise most people don't actually look down on other people's houses? You even said you had had music pupils comment how nice yours was. There could be sensible reasons for holding the party at the larger house, but that is not one of them.

I suspect that you spend far more time thinking about what other people might be thinking about you than other people spend thinking about you.

Funnily enough, my old Dad always said something similar and I now know it to be true.....most people are too busy thinking about what they look like / appear to seem to others and don't notice anyone/anything else. There is no room in their brains left.......which means....no-one is going to think anything negative at all.:D And why would they anyway?

Small get together at home is the nicest way to celebrate a toddlers birthday.
The slight snag is potential for conflict between the in laws. You know, the odd dodgy comment and so on. Alex, you are in a no win here.

You could invite in laws at the end to watch pass the parcel
+ cake cutting time so just the last half hour. Reduces the amount of time for anything untoward to be said.
.

AlexLK wrote: »

None of the books were typed up, I wrote them by hand and Mrs. K. illustrated the children's stories for son. I told you we are old fashioned, in this case embarrassingly so .

My wife thinks I'm a good writer (but she would say that :rotfl: ). If I ever get round to typing them up I'll send you a copy.



Thank you, I rather enjoyed reading the first six pages and may order a few books (got to buy a load of music for pupils next week), I need to at least try and make an effort on the sleeping front. Not only does it annoy Mrs. K. that I force myself to stay awake sometimes, it's probably no good for my health, either.



Repeating what's been successful has worked for me.

You'd probably write a wonderful self help book, FC, I always feel that bit more positive after reading your posts.

Work wise today was a good day, if I carry on like this, there may be hope for me yet. :rotfl: And yes, swimming tomorrow morning, unless I cop out like last week and Mrs. K. takes him on her own!





We do need to make our minds up, my wife did say that the nursery parents will think us rather disorganised if we leave it much later. I thought a weeks notice would be OK but it seems in the world of Mrs. K. that's "not good enough".

I'm a bit worried about my parents and her parents being in the same room in all honesty. If we do the party at my parents' house, Mrs. K.'s family need not be invited. However, she seems to want them there.



We've had a good laugh about it tonight, though. Seller was VERY optimistic in his description. :rotfl:

Sometimes wanting something, planning to buy it is more fun that actually buying it as well.:)

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

Of course she wants them there. Just as much as I assume you'd like to invite your parents.

Well, I understand that.

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Ha ha ha ha! I, He, we walked away from my parent's in-law house..no regret! ha ha ha ... My mother in-law was so upset as expected but it was short lived... she had a time to reflect on her behaviour!
We are communicating, she realised that I live by certain values and RESPECT is at the top! I am the mummy of my children! When she volunteered to pay form my children's private education I said NO! :-)

My mother and father don't really have any other family, they also look after our son a lot.

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Parents have got it "all worked out" (right down to food being served in the conservatory ) and know about the nursery friends, they'd like to meet them apparently.

Oh dear.........if Mrs K is happy to go with it then why not but....but.....you may have to do an alternative do for her family?
Tricky one this.

lostinrates

If I were a parent of a potential friend of little k where would I feel more comfortable ...and therefore that my child would feel more comfortable playing in the future...

A home in the type a working parent like I might own? Or an older persons home where if I don't cut the mustard its evident?

Its a no brainer.....I'm sure every one will be very polite. You might even impress a few insincere pretentious phoneys, but seriously Alex, the sort of people you could relax with, who you'd really want little k to bond with would rather see your furniture ( and learn where they might buy some).

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Funnily enough, my old Dad always said something similar and I now know it to be true.....most people are too busy thinking about what they look like / appear to seem to others and don't notice anyone/anything else. There is no room in their brains left.......which means....no-one is going to think anything negative at all.:D And why would they anyway?

I suppose I'm being paranoid.

fc123 wrote: »

Small get together at home is the nicest way to celebrate a toddlers birthday.
The slight snag is potential for conflict between the in laws. You know, the odd dodgy comment and so on. Alex, you are in a no win here.

You could invite in laws at the end to watch pass the parcel
+ cake cutting time so just the last half hour. Reduces the amount of time for anything untoward to be said.

I know what potential there is for conflict (too much) :rotfl: though am wondering whether to give her parents the benefit of the doubt as the last time we went round, they were quite alright.

However, whilst I am sure father would manage to stay on his best behaviour, mother seems to be on some kind of crusade recently.

fc123 wrote: »

Sometimes wanting something, planning to buy it is more fun that actually buying it as well.:)

I want and plan to buy things all the time, don't always get them though :rotfl:.

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

If I were a parent of a potential friend of little k where would I feel more comfortable ...and therefore that my child would feel more comfortable playing in the future...

A home in the type a working parent like I might own? Or an older persons home where if I don't cut the mustard its evident?

Its a no brainer.....I'm sure every one will be very polite. You might even impress a few insincere pretentious phoneys, but seriously Alex, the sort of people you could relax with, who you'd really want little k to bond with would rather see your furniture ( and learn where they might buy some).[/QUOTE]

That's such a good idea lir, you could do a 2 4 1 (get 2 things from 1 thing) . Do a party, meet some parents and the odd one may note a nice piece and you can say...'well, I could always source you one for £x', here's my card '

AlexLK wrote: »

I suppose I'm being paranoid.





However, whilst I am sure father would manage to stay on his best behaviour, mother seems to be on some kind of crusade recently.



I want and plan to buy things all the time, don't always get them though :rotfl:.

OK, time to maybe have a word with Dad about your concerns.
I don't see why you can't be quite blunt about either given the history.

Just say you are concerned at inappropriate comments that might cause some tension (or worse) and could she, please, stay 'zip'. If she finds it hard, put her in charge of the toddler who ate too much cake and is running around like wild thing.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Oh dear.........if Mrs K is happy to go with it then why not but....but.....you may have to do an alternative do for her family?
Tricky one this.

:rotfl: You weren't the one who had to listen to them talk about it (down to whether or not vol-au-vents are too "1980's") over lunch, along with their opinions of Costa Coffee and Sainsbury's "destroying" Matlock town centre. :rotfl:

lostinrates wrote: »

If I were a parent of a potential friend of little k where would I feel more comfortable ...and therefore that my child would feel more comfortable playing in the future...

A home in the type a working parent like I might own? Or an older persons home where if I don't cut the mustard its evident?

Its a no brainer.....I'm sure every one will be very polite. You might even impress a few insincere pretentious phoneys, but seriously Alex, the sort of people you could relax with, who you'd really want little k to bond with would rather see your furniture ( and learn where they might buy some).

We're only inviting three children and their parents: one I know would likely think my house "a palace" :rotfl:. However, there is also the grandparents to consider and Mrs. K.'s brother and his family .