Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

heartbreak_star

Reminds me of something I read somewhere about a guy buying a "vintage" calculator at an auction because his dad would like it...only to find Dad had put the same model away in the loft for his son's use "in years to come".

Makes you wonder, really.

HBS x

AlexLK

Thank you all.

In response:
Chevalier: Thank you for your post.

My parents are planning to fund his education, which counts senior school too as a day pupil - they won't pay for him to board. Admittedly, I agree he needs a positive learning environment which I believe he would get at my old schools, not sure about the village school but that is purely because I haven't seen what goes on there.

So far as I go, I suppose in reality they just don't want to see me fall any further than I already have done. My parents do not wish to "screw me over", at least I don't think so.

HBS: It might just be "stuff" but it's rather difficult for me to just let things go, even to not buy it in the first place.

Roland: I happen to agree with this, though the thought is rather sad.

HBS: :rotfl: I know some people like that.

Goldiegirl

AlexLK wrote: »

So far as I go, I suppose in reality they just don't want to see me fall any further than I already have done. My parents do not wish to "screw me over", at least I don't think so.

HBS: It might just be "stuff" but it's rather difficult for me to just let things go, even to not buy it in the first place.

Fall any further? You aren't exactly lying in the gutter drinking meths!!:rotfl: If you can nail the debt, I think many people on here would think you have a good life - a home, wife, child, work that you enjoy. I'm not exactly sure that could be descrbied as a 'fall'. Many would aspire to what you have

Re 'stuff' have you looked at the hoarding thread on the Old Style part of the board? They might help you understand why you want to accumulate and keep 'stuff'

patanne

I agree with Chev - they do keep setting you up to fail. They are even setting up your marriage to fail. The slip of the tongue about your wife's parents is an example. They keep putting you down & incredibly you keep picking yourself up again because you are stronger than you think. Time to withdraw your permission to them to do this to you & yours. Because you KNOW you can do this.

AlexLK

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Fall any further? You aren't exactly lying in the gutter drinking meths!!:rotfl: If you can nail the debt, I think many people on here would think you have a good life - a home, wife, child, work that you enjoy. I'm not exactly sure that could be descrbied as a 'fall'. Many would aspire to what you have

Re 'stuff' have you looked at the hoarding thread on the Old Style part of the board? They might help you understand why you want to accumulate and keep 'stuff'

:rotfl: I suppose things aren't so bad. I am aware that my parents are a little disappointed in me though.

I have not and shall take a look, hopefully it will help somewhat.

AlexLK

patanne wrote: »

I agree with Chev - they do keep setting you up to fail. They are even setting up your marriage to fail. The slip of the tongue about your wife's parents is an example. They keep putting you down & incredibly you keep picking yourself up again because you are stronger than you think. Time to withdraw your permission to them to do this to you & yours. Because you KNOW you can do this.

Thank you for your message. However, I'm not sure this is the case but thank you anyway.

patanne

Well if some of the other posters on your thread come back & tell me I'm talking rubbish then I will concede, shut up & go away. It would be a shame though as I have enjoyed watching you 'grow' in the last 2 months.

Iwillsucceed_2

Hello Alex!

It's me again ha ha!
Anyway, I think that you are in denial or avoiding to consider what the others are trying to convey in relation to your parent's attitude? You seem to cut them off with the same answer you gave them both as in your previous posts
Some of the posters have suggested you to 'man up' do you know what they are asking you to do when they say that? What do you understand by failure? Your threat is plagued by this word.You keep saying you 'don't want them to see you as failure, as failing etc, etc', who are you existing to please? Why are you so afraid of failing? what's failing anyway?
You are struggling ufff it is exhausting! because you seem to be doing what you like e.g. not working for others... but you are filled by guilt due to not following or fulfilling your parent's expectations! It appears that to them you are never going to be good enough unless you 'man up' or you are condemned to live as you are and in future minus the debt.
Sometimes I find it hard to chew, the fact that you are willing to put up with your parent's behaviour because they are coming to the rescue and sending your son to a 'private school'.

I DO NOT expect you to provide any answer to my questions but you might consider the possibilities etc.

Regards...

Quote:
Originally Posted by patanne
I agree with Chev - they do keep setting you up to fail. They are even setting up your marriage to fail. The slip of the tongue about your wife's parents is an example. They keep putting you down & incredibly you keep picking yourself up again because you are stronger than you think. Time to withdraw your permission to them to do this to you & yours. Because you KNOW you can do this.


Thank you for your message. However, I'm not sure this is the case but thank you anyway.

AlexLK

Thursday 24th October, 2013.
Day 54.

Dear Diary,

Well, Mrs. K. did not buy a car! After looking at it and poking a hole in the sill, she fortunately walked away from what would have been nothing but a money pit. Personally, I've been busy with work again and am starting to see some rewards from that. I did feel a little annoyed with my parents after meeting them for lunch to discuss my son's birthday party because "of course" we "couldn't possibly" hold a small treasure hunt and a few nibbles at my house. :mad:

On the debt busting front, I've made £190 on eBay through selling what is "junk" to me, so rather pleased with that. Sticking with the positive, for the first time since the very beginning of my deft-free journey, Mrs. K. and I have worked together to create a realistic budget. Furthermore, we have both agreed to no longer spend on our debit cards, instead taking money (cash) out of the various pots we made at the start of the debt free journey due to us both being bad at sticking to a budget when spending on day to day stuff with a debit card.

Summary:
+£50.00 Music Teaching.
-£35.00 Groceries.

Yours Faithfully.
Alex.

We have also made a new SOA for November with comment much appreciated:
Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet - November

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 3

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1300
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2330
Benefits................................ 80
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3610

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 703
Council tax............................. 162
Electricity............................. 65
Gas..................................... 65
Water rates............................. 35
Telephone (land line)................... 32.75
Mobile phone............................ 50 (this will be going down to £30 in December. )
TV Licence.............................. 12
Groceries etc. ......................... 325
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 350
Road tax................................ 47
Car Insurance........................... 75
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 70
Car parking............................. 10
Childcare/nursery....................... 200
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 25
Buildings insurance..................... 17
Contents insurance...................... 11
Life assurance ......................... 15
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 300 (Expensive month . Son's birthday and also my mother's birthday)
Haircuts................................ 28
Entertainment / Misc.................... 100
Mrs. K. Lunch ...........................120
Coffee...................................50
Total monthly expenses.................. 2918.75



Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,610
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,918.75
Available for debt repayments........... 691.25

AlexLK

patanne wrote: »

Well if some of the other posters on your thread come back & tell me I'm talking rubbish then I will concede, shut up & go away. It would be a shame though as I have enjoyed watching you 'grow' in the last 2 months.

Patanne: I'm sorry if my post came across as being rude, nor do I want you to "shut up and go away". However, my parents just want the best for me (and my family). Upon reading your post again, I do know where you are coming from, they have very high expectations.

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Hello Alex!

It's me again ha ha!
Anyway, I think that you are in denial or avoiding to consider what the others are trying to convey in relation to your parent's attitude? You seem to cut them off with the same answer you gave them both as in your previous posts
Some of the posters have suggested you to 'man up' do you know what they are asking you to do when they say that? What do you understand by failure? Your threat is plagued by this word.You keep saying you 'don't want them to see you as failure, as failing etc, etc', who are you existing to please? Why are you so afraid of failing? what's failing anyway?
You are struggling ufff it is exhausting! because you seem to be doing what you like e.g. not working for others... but you are filled by guilt due to not following or fulfilling your parent's expectations! It appears that to them you are never going to be good enough unless you 'man up' or you are condemned to live as you are and in future minus the debt.
Sometimes I find it hard to chew, the fact that you are willing to put up with your parent's behaviour because they are coming to the rescue and sending your son to a 'private school'.

I DO NOT expect you to provide any answer to my questions but you might consider the possibilities etc.

Regards...

Sorry, Iwillsucceed but I'm afraid I am unable to "man up" and get myself a proper job, sometimes I wish I could. However, I am more than aware going back to working full time is not really an option for me, I have talked about this with my wife and she understands.