Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

I have received some training but have no paper qualifications in any craft occupation.

I do have qualifications in music (up to and including a MA). However, I have no qualifications in education (PGCE, MEd etc.) and no experience teaching in schools. I do not have a criminal record and to teach privately do not have to have a CRB disclosure - pupils come to my house and apart from one, their parents sit in on the lessons.

What instrument(s) did your husband teach?

.

I played the same instruments as you but was primarily a vocalist. I no longer am a musician in any form. My husband was a professional jazz musician before doing what he does now. He started classical piano and cello but was a young jazz whizz and went to one of the big music school for post grad with, um, I think sax, double bass and um, possibly flute not sure but know he went with three not two instruments. Lock him in a room with an instrument for half an hour he'll work out how to work for him, but he considers him self a sax player. He is a beautiful bass player too though. IMO, (sniff) he's not that great a pianist and he is frankly not great At all with a guitar or drums. :rotfl: He taught sax. We get a few royalty cheques for stuff done a long time ago (me) and less long time ago ( him) and he also did things (written and recorded) that are used for tv music fillers.

We met through soMe work we were both doing in music for a mutual acquaintance music producer.

He plays for fun now, he'd never stop playing. We were talking about personality and music just before I found your threads and I admitted that while I miss singing I also don't. The art is not good for fraught perfectionists. It feeds our neuroses. . I also disliked when he had me me sing jazz at jam sessions. I have no talent for improv (no experience pre dh in jazz at all) and find people doing stuff that's not expected quite stressful. A further confession is that despite having been brought up in music.....

I do not miss listening live music at all. NOT ONE BIT. . Its sacrilege to admit maybe, but li just don't. It works well, DH goes to music stuff when in Town, and I avoid most of it. There are precious few things I regrets missing, and mostly I can hear recordings.

I don't think many instrument teachers have a pace do they? None of mine did! :rotfl: :rotfl:

Iwillsucceed_2

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you, yes I can relate to this. However, your questions are far too difficult for me to answer at this moment in time.

Fortunately, I've had a rather good day and also tried to look forward a little instead of constantly looking back and regretting. Business is going well, that's got to be a positive.

Hello Alex,
I was not expecting an answer...

Ufff you made me smile ha ha ha ha! have you noticed some of the patterns in your posts? 'Having a not so good day and a good day', today was a 'good day' good! No wonder why I stated that after reading your posts previously, I could envisage a line chart..a fluctuating chart... that reflects our lives and business? ha ha ha

We all tend to look backwards... sometimes with regret but instead of looking with regret we can develop to look with compassion?
Glad you had a 'good day'..

Regards

AlexLK

LostinRates: Well, I did not concentrate on performance through university and have never been a professional musician.

For the past six or so years, until very recently, I did not play at all as I could not face it. This likely sounds crazy but I'd sit at the piano and be utterly terrified to attempt to even play a note for fear of it going wrong. As for music and personality, I've a lot to say on that but shall not bore you :rotfl:.

Iwillsucceed: :rotfl: Yes, I do tend to have "good days" and "bad days" but doesn't everyone? However, currently I'm not feeling too well after a second helping of cheesecake ... Mrs. K. says it was my own fault for being gluttonous and to be honest I have to agree.

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

Tuesday 22nd October, 2013.
Day 52.

Dear Diary,

Today I have allowed myself to become immersed in my work, (stopped you spending:D)

forgetting about other issues that seem to be surrounding my life at the moment.

Admittedly, in many ways it was a selfish thing to do but by taking that step back, I realised why I am doing this; that is running a business without much as a reward. (it would only really be selfish if it was at an expense to something else, but turn this into a positive and look at it as an re-evaluate)


Even so, should I manage to get debt free EXCUSE ME......not should I you mean WHEN I get debt free

and quit the exuberant spending :T:T:T:T:T:T:T

I have promised myself an incentive in the form of a bonus come the end of 2014 and recognised that £1,000 per month is perhaps a payment I need to review at the start of the new year.
That is absolutly brilliant, and also your be in a better position work wise - thinking as your subcontracting.

I would also like to say thank you to everybody who has been supportive on this thread, having ventured out into another part of the forum, I have realised that unfortunately not all members are so kind as the Debt Free Wannabees.
Most of the threads are ok, just some strong minded people, I do hope we see u in Santas Challenge - get you organised for next Xmas!!:rotfl:


Talking of which, my debt free activities today have consisted of sending off my first full and final letter in an effort to begin negotiations with one of the collection agencies and telling Mrs. K. Should she decide to spend £3,000 on a classic car, I will need to see £1,500 back in the debt pot from her selling things of her own.
Well done on all aspects of that one,, :T
Summary:
-£55.53 LR Diesel.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

Just playing catch up, so apologies if my comments seem old in relation to newer posts x

mum2one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

To be fair, we are very gentle to you on this thread! I did try and nudge them over here as it explains your full situation

I do still think you're under your parents' thumb and Mrs K. is rebelling against that...but that's something you will have to eventually see for yourself.

EDIT: Ask BG about the servicing programme. Mr HBS sorted it out before I moved in and it's good apparently

HBS x

Def agree with the BG service, it has saved us a fortune over the years and gives you peace of mind xx

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

LostinRates: Well, I did not concentrate on performance through university and have never been a professional musician.

For the past six or so years, until very recently, I did not play at all as I could not face it. This likely sounds crazy but I'd sit at the piano and be utterly terrified to attempt to even play a note for fear of it going wrong. As for music and personality, I've a lot to say on that but shall not bore you :rotfl:.

Iwillsucceed: :rotfl: Yes, I do tend to have "good days" and "bad days" but doesn't everyone? However, currently I'm not feeling too well after a second helping of cheesecake ... Mrs. K. says it was my own fault for being gluttonous and to be honest I have to agree.

I'm sure what you have to say would be fascinating. Fraught perfectionist combined with low feelings?

I cannot play anymore because of health problems, and I cannot sing really (I've developed a goitre as a side complication). I had considered taking up some other instrument and then thought 'why?' Why pyut myself through it, when its actually going to make me feel worse about what I've lost.....realising I didn't have to be THAT me any more was a relief. As a complication of my brain problems I have problems both with dexterity and reading music now. I put the fiddle down many years ago, but I sometimes miss the piano. I can ay a few things I used to know, but reading music is hard for me to process now, And I don't have the patience. I can sit and transcribe agonisingly for DH, but, to agonisingly try and work it out for my two faltering hands and failing brain is just frustrating and infuriating. I Sing in the house and shower like normal people now,:o:) but never in public. :rotfl:

You are lucky to have your skill and find joy in it. . Gifting it to young people is a tremendous way to make a living. Especially in such a way THEY can find joy in it. I often wish I'd been allowed a few faults in the name of joy, because flawless music with no soul or joy is tiresome to listen to, don't you think? Ultimately, so few of us actually go on to have professional music careers we might as well keep the joy in music, huh?

AlexLK

mum2one: Thank you and yes "when I" get debt free, no if's, eh? Mrs. K. has been rather helpful this evening, messing about with spreadsheets and working out next month's budget, her words being "you are actually serious about this, aren't you?"

I really hope we can sort things out once and for all. She gets paid in two days and for once we are in the black, nothing extra to put towards the debts but not further into debt either.

Considering we've still sorted nothing for son's birthday next month (waiting until Mrs. K. gets paid ), I cannot honestly see us organising Christmas 2014! November and Decemeber are busy for us birthday wise in my family.

AlexLK

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm sure what you have to say would be fascinating. Fraught perfectionist combined with low feelings?

Something like that.

lostinrates wrote: »

I cannot play anymore because of health problems, and I cannot sing really (I've developed a goitre as a side complication). I had considered taking up some other instrument and then thought 'why?' Why pyut myself through it, when its actually going to make me feel worse about what I've lost.....realising I didn't have to be THAT me any more was a relief. As a complication of my brain problems I have problems both with dexterity and reading music now. I put the fiddle down many years ago, but I sometimes miss the piano. I can ay a few things I used to know, but reading music is hard for me to process now, And I don't have the patience. I can sit and transcribe agonisingly for DH, but, to agonisingly try and work it out for my two faltering hands and failing brain is just frustrating and infuriating. I Sing in the house and shower like normal people now,:o:) but never in public. :rotfl:

Sorry to hear about your health problems and hope there are something the medical professionals can work out for you.

lostinrates wrote: »

You are lucky to have your skill and find joy in it. . Gifting it to young people is a tremendous way to make a living. Especially in such a way THEY can find joy in it. I often wish I'd been allowed a few faults in the name of joy, because flawless music with no soul or joy is tiresome to listen to, don't you think? Ultimately, so few of us actually go on to have professional music careers we might as well keep the joy in music, huh?

Young and not so young :rotfl: - I have two pensioner pupils.

I certainly agree in regard to "flawless" music. One can be technically brilliant and yet a terrible musician. Many child performers have not developed such emotions to relate to what the composer was trying to convey in the first place, thus making a dull performance. In all honesty, I wish I hadn't experienced enough still. :rotfl:

Funnily enough, I never wanted a professional music career - I wanted to become an academic. However, due to my foolishness with money I could not afford to pursue a PhD in my early twenties.

Sorry for my incoherence, my words are not flowing particularly well this evening.

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

Something like that.



Sorry to hear about your health problems and hope there are something the medical professionals can work out for you.



Young and not so young :rotfl: - I have two pensioner pupils.

I certainly agree in regard to "flawless" music. One can be technically brilliant and yet a terrible musician. Many child performers have not developed such emotions to relate to what the composer was trying to convey in the first place, thus making a dull performance. In all honesty, I wish I hadn't experienced enough still. :rotfl:

Funnily enough, I never wanted a professional music career - I wanted to become an academic. However, due to my foolishness with money I could not afford to pursue a PhD in my early twenties.

Sorry for my incoherence, my words are not flowing particularly well this evening.

He he he , My in laws are mainly academics.

I'd suggest, though its unpopular today, that the same issue exists in academia as in immature musicians and we have a problem with too many people with not enough wisdom behind their academic work. That said......success came earlier to many greats than we expect today. My guess is, Alex, you will be ready for your PhD in the future, should you still feel that is a goal.

But.....be clear, is it that or financial reward that is your gain.....the two are very often not found hand in hand. . There is NO RIGHT ANSWER, for anyone but you (and your wife) in that. . And would you be prepared to travel for tenure? No point in setting up security in the one lifestyle if your dream is academics tenure somewhere, and somewhere offered is not where you are now.

theoretica

AlexLK wrote: »

She gets paid in two days and for once we are in the black, nothing extra to put towards the debts but not further into debt either.

Excellent!

AlexLK wrote: »

Considering we've still sorted nothing for son's birthday next month (waiting until Mrs. K. gets paid ), I cannot honestly see us organising Christmas 2014! November and Decemeber are busy for us birthday wise in my family.

Do remember that the person you need to impress and please with this birthday is the one turning 3 - not his grandparents.