Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

LannieDuck

Great news about Mrs K getting stuck back in with the spreadsheets, and well done on breaking even this month. Good job

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Ha:), A Good Day is not something to be sniffed at . Sometimes they can be a bit rare too so enjoy them when they come along. Life is just a zig zag really.

Here's to hoping things are generally on the up from now on, well I can live in hope.

fc123 wrote: »

....good point. Could apply to other work as well too.....who knows what opportunities will crop up in the future.

I really do not want to move away in all honesty and that is quite important to me.

fc123 wrote: »

OK, you have been in my head a bit today (..... and I was really busy too ) so I was trying to think of purely practical solutions to a few things that have cropped up in the thread.

:rotfl: I'm flattered. Seriously, thank you.

fc123 wrote: »

The sort of practical solutions that could help solve or dampen those underlying niggly ones that seem to be lurking underneath.

I believe you and Mrs K have one jam jar for wages and spending?
I have known an equal amount of couples have their salaries go into individual accounts + then SO an equal amount into a joint account for household bills and those that don't, the 'all in one' pot couples.

I was just wondering...not judging or saying you should (:o)....just wondering if the former would work better for your household, make things a bit simpler and, therefore removing a potential point of conflict.

It was the £500 withdrawal that was floating about in my head and I think I know where it may have been spent if it was taken out in cash.....just things that I know a lot of women spend on secretly.

I can't totally recall your SOA totally but I am thinking you both do 1k each into the joint acct for mortgage, ins, utilities, nursery, maintenance and basic food. 2k should more than cover it. You should still get some CB so that can go in too.

You put your fuel, phone, 70% of home phone, an allowance for home working (acct will give you the figure) and any other 'allowables' through your business. Can't see why Mrs K's fuel can't go through as well (I will wait to be flamed for that suggestion ) anyways......
Mrs K puts her 1k in and keeps the balance of her wages in her account to do with as she see fits for the family.

That leaves your music lessons £ for debt busting or spending on pens/lunches/ink.

This then removes the potential for any arguments over extra spending and Mrs K can decide whether to save her surplus or spend it on whatevers.

Any good?

Thank you for the suggestion. Yes, my wife and I do not have separate finances and we do claim more or less what you say as business expenses. As much as I am for tax avoidance, I am careful not to go overboard, though will speak to my accountant. My parents have been in the position of owing the taxman A LOT of money before and (a long time ago now) faced a rather nasty "investigation".

Back on topic: if we did such a thing, my wife would be left with around £1,300 to do with "as she saw fit": she would not put any of that towards our son's future or clearing our mortgage and could easily spend it on cars and holidays. I do not begrudge her fun but do still see this way of "working" as being rather unfair. Perhaps I wouldn't if I weren't the "poor" one?

fc123 wrote: »

Also, I really understand where your parents are coming from and they just want what they believe is best for you all.
I also understand more as you explained about the manufacturing business that declined and that they managed to develop something else....and that is really hard to do. But I will save those musings for another day.

I know they just want the best for us. To be honest, I am very grateful to my parents, even if that does make me some kind of "mummies boy".

AlexLK

LannieDuck wrote: »

Great news about Mrs K getting stuck back in with the spreadsheets, and well done on breaking even this month. Good job

Thank you. We'll see if it lasts, she's still going to look at this car in her lunch break tomorrow.

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

:rotfl: I'm flattered. Seriously, thank you.

---

Thank you for the suggestion. Yes, my wife and I do not have separate finances and we do claim more or less what you say as business expenses. As much as I am for tax avoidance, I am careful not to go overboard, though will speak to my accountant. My parents have been in the position of owing the taxman A LOT of money before and (a long time ago now) faced a rather nasty "investigation".

---

Back on topic: if we did such a thing, my wife would be left with around £1,300 to do with "as she saw fit": she would not put any of that towards our son's future or clearing our mortgage and could easily spend it on cars and holidays. I do not begrudge her fun but do still see this way of "working" as being rather unfair. Perhaps I wouldn't if I weren't the "poor" one?

---

I know they just want the best for us. To be honest, I am very grateful to my parents, even if that does make me some kind of "mummies boy".

Don't be flattered (;)) , I was procrastinating....the bane of the self employed *joke*.:)


It can cause a bit of umbrage sometimes when one suggests such things but SE don't have sick pay, days off paid if there is a problem and no paid holidays so it's a different set up to anyone on PAYE. SE need to have a cushion to allow for those things and to pay a bit less tax as one can offset some things is perfectly fair and reasonable and HMRC see it that way too.

We have had a few VAT inspections over the 25 years and all were 100%. The last one told us to put the entire home phone through rather than 70%.


That was my point though....to give her the choice......she has the surplus to spend as she chooses....and you accept her spending decisions. I actually think she will save a lot of it as she did do that with the CB/CTC before and could easily have splurged that.

Then you concentrate on upping your income which probably fluctuates month on month nayway so you also have to run a surplus in the business account.

I would then continue de-cluttering to clear the debt.


BTW, Did you know that having shopaholic tendencies are a positive thing with a buying and selling business? I haven't known a single antiques trader type to not have a bit of shopaholicism in them.

Of course, you can't hoard all the 'special' things (as no customer is worthy of owning them ) and I did see some of a programme called 'Salvage Hunter' where the presenter visited people with sheds of stuff that they wouldn't sell.

fc123

I know you don't have time to read much but Paul Torday is a great author.
His 1st novel was Salmon fishing in the Yemen and he has written several stories (I don't see them as novels really) that are so light and interesting to read.


I have now read every single one and they are all so different but he writes a lot about the 'upper classes' in a very knowing way ....his bio is interesting as there seems to be 30 years missing so he may have worked for MI5 or similar).


An hour of book reading rather than screen reading could be a better way to wind down the day when you can't sleep?

Link Here

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Legacy-Hartlepool-Hall-Paul-Torday/dp/0753828839/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382560746&sr=1-3&keywords=paul+torday


It didn't get as high reviews but it was one of my favourites . Here is one review below

Having enjoyed a novella by this authorpreviously, I found this tale equally as good. There were one or two shocksalong they way, but the underlying themes are greed, sloth, a bullying parent,unloved children and the realisation that money isn't everything. As long asyou're content with life, material things are just an added bonus. The characterisationof the individuals in and around the "upper classes" is fab, and attimes very funny.

I would highly recommend the book. It's an easy story to get into and onceyou're in there, you will be hooked. I am definitely looking out for another bookby Paul Torday which I think is a sure sign of how much I loved it

The other one I would recommend is The Hopeless Life of Charlie Summers though he puts each character as a minor one in each book so CS does come first in the series.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Don't be flattered (;)) , I was procrastinating....the bane of the self employed *joke*.:)

It can cause a bit of umbrage sometimes when one suggests such things but SE don't have sick pay, days off paid if there is a problem and no paid holidays so it's a different set up to anyone on PAYE. SE need to have a cushion to allow for those things and to pay a bit less tax as one can offset some things is perfectly fair and reasonable and HMRC see it that way too.

We have had a few VAT inspections over the 25 years and all were 100%. The last one told us to put the entire home phone through rather than 70%.

Perhaps things have changed in the past 20-odd years regarding HMRC. Thanks for this, I will certainly be speaking to my accountant, especially as I'm "going it alone".

fc123 wrote: »

That was my point though....to give her the choice......she has the surplus to spend as she chooses....and you accept her spending decisions. I actually think she will save a lot of it as she did do that with the CB/CTC before and could easily have splurged that.

She did, to be fair.

fc123 wrote: »

Then you concentrate on upping your income which probably fluctuates month on month nayway so you also have to run a surplus in the business account.

I would then continue de-cluttering to clear the debt.

Sounds positive.

I've found some real gems in that spare room that I forgot I owned :rotfl: Most amusing was a clockwork train (belonged to father as a child), which I wound up and showed son who loved it. However, they made toys dangerous back then (lots of VERY sharp edges).

I did say my house is full of old stuff.

fc123 wrote: »

BTW, Did you know that having shopaholic tendencies are a positive thing with a buying and selling business? I haven't known a single antiques trader type to not have a bit of shopaholicism in them.

Of course, you can't hoard all the 'special' things (as no customer is worthy of owning them ) and I did see some of a programme called 'Salvage Hunter' where the presenter visited people with sheds of stuff that they wouldn't sell.

Does not surprise me in the slightest. As business partner is leaving I'm expanding the business somewhat on product.

Ah, Drew Pritchard ... (Salvage Hunters); now he really does make a living out of selling utter tat sometimes, usually to the London types.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

I know you don't have time to read much but Paul Torday is a great author.
His 1st novel was Salmon fishing in the Yemen and he has written several stories (I don't see them as novels really) that are so light and interesting to read.


I have now read every single one and they are all so different but he writes a lot about the 'upper classes' in a very knowing way ....his bio is interesting as there seems to be 30 years missing so he may have worked for MI5 or similar).


An hour of book reading rather than screen reading could be a better way to wind down the day when you can't sleep?

Link Here

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Legacy-Hartlepool-Hall-Paul-Torday/dp/0753828839/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382560746&sr=1-3&keywords=paul+torday


It didn't get as high reviews but it was one of my favourites . Here is one review below


The other one I would recommend is The Hopeless Life of Charlie Summers though he puts each character as a minor one in each book so CS does come first in the series.

I used to read quite a lot, thank you for the suggestions I shall take a look.

Strangely enough, I write a little myself - son has numerous stories written by yours truly and I once wrote a book about a couple who were courting through WWII (no it was not as depressive as it sounds), it was for my wife as she has quite an interest in 20th Century history and was based upon her grandparents' experiences of wartime (though not about her grandparents).

ETA: Just read the first six pages on the computer, Ed sounds an amusing character already.

chevalier

I was going to wait until I got to the end but wanted to deal with this now.

AlexLK wrote: »

Sunday 29th September, 2013.
Day 28.

Dear Diary,



Today in our financial news, my parents told me they will be happy to pay our son's school fees and we ought to think about where he is to go for his pre-prep years because "this is important, Alexander".

Actually NO THIS ISN'T IMPORTANT ALEXANDER. You have a perfectly good village school, with less than 50 students. This will be fine for him to learn the 3 Rs. If they really want to help out financially then let them PAY FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL which costs 2 or 3 times as much as prep school does. Or even pay for him to do what he likes at University. Or pay for a house for him in whatever uni town he ends up in.

Any of these would be better than paying for prep school. He will be making buddies at nursery, that will see him all through primary if you let them. And that will be no bad thing.


How I abhor the fact that I am unable to provide my own son with all the things he needs He doesn't NEED private school you and your parents do, because that is what YOU expect. He just needs a postive learning environment. Funnily if you village school has a good in its Ofsted report then that is what they have got for FREE.

Tell them to use the money to hire a really good agent to look after their BTL, so they can enjoy their sunset years without the stress.


and that my parents are all too quick to mop up my messes with a smile in mock sympathy as they explain they will not allow their grandson to "go without",

Can you see how disempowering this is FOR YOU? They are treating you like a little child, always swooping in to 'help you out'. Yet it only makes THEM feel superior and good not you. How is that helping you make your way in the world? Their definition of their grandson going without is way higher than anyone I know. You have said before about having snobbish ways, but who the heck do you think you LEARNED THEM FROM. The very people that want to put your grandson in a little snobby prep school with all the 'nice rich kids'. Yeah right.

only further proving my inadequacy as a father. No wonder I wasn't all that come audition time.


Only YOU think that. You have to look at peoples motivations. Even your parents get a kick out of undermining you, and you take it because you are conditioned to.
Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

There is a whole lot of things they are EXPECTING you to fall in with, and they think they are being kind.
Examples of this are the prep school

The oh you can take over running the BTL

Oh you can have our house and we will swap with you.

This forgets that - a child doesn't need a prep school. If William and Kate can act like normal people.....

BTL house. You running them. So they get a free letting agent because you are family. Remind you of anything? Oh yes them screwing people over, but this time they would do it to flesh and blood. The expect that you would 'jump at the chance of doing a real job like that', even if you were totally unsuited to it. And then when you mess up, because you aren't suited to it, they will be able to shake their head again, and say 'oh well we tried to give him a leg up' And swoop in again to mop up the mess. THAT THEY HAD CREATED!

The house swap. You have already said that you wouldn't be able to pay the bills on the place. You mentioned that you would love your son to live in your house where you grew up.

2 problems with this. If he goes to private school how much time would he really spend there. Just a few weeks a year, so no happy shared memories. And secondly again it is related to your over attachment to things. A house is just a thing. The memories are in your heart.


Sorry for being so blunt and I am only on page 47 so if this has been said already then I apologise. But I don't like you being led by the nose to your own slaughter as it were.

I am not saying they don't mean well. But really they are serving their own interests not yours. If they were looking out for you, they would be supporting you IN WHAT YOU DO NOW.

Good luck, I will be back when I have read the next x pages
chev

heartbreak_star

Chevalier, I have been saying this all along - Alex seems to have an attachment to expensive material goods - that attitude seems to stem from his parents.

See Alex - it's not me saying "it's just stuff".

HBS x

7roland8

And actually - regarding 'stuff' - why cling onto things when after your own days it won't be valued - your son will have his own ideas - as you have form your parents. In 100 years time it will all be junk anyway - or in someone else's collection.