Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

gallygirl

Tell your parents the 'scummies' are invited. That should convince them your house is best :rotfl:.

Write out the invitations and hand them out, with YOUR address. What's the worst your parents can do - stay away .

Crikey, feeling sorry for Mrs K's parents now (not a phrase I ever thought I'd be writing :rotfl:) if they've been excluded from his birthdays before. Am beginning to see some reasons behind their hostility.

LannieDuck

I'm feeling sorry for Mrs K's parents too - they been excluded from their grandson's first two birthdays

What makes your parents think they can 'have everything organised' for your son's party? It's normally the parents that do it. I agree with the PP that said it would be odd to go to the party of a friend of my DD and find it's in their grandparents' fancy house rather than the parents' perfectly lovely baby-proofed house with all the kids' toys. Much more stressful for the visiting parents too.

Your parents can still meet all the nursery friends... at Little K's party in his own house.

Please Alex, do what you and Mrs K want (and what Little K will enjoy), not what your parents want.

AlexLK

chevalier wrote: »

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I still hold to my position with regards to your parents attitude. They may not be consciously undermining you but they are doing it nevertheless.

Ref the birthday party. It would be VERY unusual for a 3 year olds party to be anywhere but at home (or in a playbarn type of place). This is what we did with our children for the first 5 years of their lives. You don't want to create the wrong impression with the children's parents (who you are inviting to the party) do you?

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. I do see where you are coming from in regard to my parents, to be honest it's just how they are - I don't think they can help it!

Mrs. K. and I were talking about the party this morning, she wants to invite her family so it looks like it'll be here.

chevalier wrote: »

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. :)As for the 'finger food', oh my. I agree with another poster crisps, and such like is fine. I have another suggestion actually. Have a grandparents party on the actual birthday, and then have the kids party the next day. It won't matter to little K that the kids one isn't on his actual birthday. And would probably be far less stressful for you both (you wouldn't be worrying about someone related to you saying something out of turn in front of the other parents).

But I would have BOTH OF THEM AT YOUR HOUSE. Neutral ground as other have said. Also you mentioned not having enough room in the house for little ones to run around. Well you just move furniture around to make the space for an afternoon, and then move it back!

In all honesty, we don't want to do two and as we're only inviting three nursery friends I don't see much point either. Only thing I do see as a bit of a worry is my parents and her parents in one room, together.:eek:

As for moving the furniture around, yes small pieces can be moved. I was more concerned about kids messing about on the piano etc.

chevalier wrote: »

Well done on writing the first F & F letter, now to write the second one:D!

Ref the loan can you overpay it? If so then that would be a good reason to sell the '3 chairs in the garage' as it will save you in interest. Have you had a play on the snowball calculator to see how much interest you would save? There is a link on the main dfw part of the site. Might be an eye opener and give you another burst of motivation.

Thank you, I will write the second one as soon as I've agreed something with the first one, so we know where we are financially.

There is very little interest left to pay on the loan - circa £800 and only 15 months left (we've accounted for 1st Nov. payment).

chevalier wrote: »

Well done on selling of the less important things. That was a good thought. Having a less cluttered house will help you have a less cluttered brain (now if only I could practice what I preach lol. But I am getting there too). I think the reason we hang onto 'stuff' sometimes is because we are embarrassed on some level to sell it for less than we paid for it - not just for sentimental reasons. I know that is the case in my life. I bought a whole load of stuff to on sell when I had PND, and now don't want to let it go as then I will really 'know' that I wasted that money.:o On the other hand I could have a nice little getaway in my bedroom if I could move the 3 metres by 2 metre lot of boxes I have there.

:rotfl: re. the less cluttered house. In a couple of rooms you'd never guess we had a "cluttered house".

Why would you have wasted that money if you bought stuff on to sell (which IMO implies there is a profit to be made)?

chevalier wrote: »

I was sorry to 'hear' about the troubles your wife was having (hope it is was and is all sorted now?) at work. But sometimes you have to take a stand on your professional integrity, especially if the safety of others is potentially at stake.

The same goes for standing on your own personal integrity too.

Not really, she wishes she'd gone for the other job now.

chevalier wrote: »

Ref the insults - like wow. Thank you for reminding me how LUCKY I am with my in laws. They are ALL lovely and I love mine to bits. We don't live in the UK currently and if I am really honest I miss my in laws more than my mum:o. There is no way I would put up with the insults you have taken from either set of parents. They are being cruel TO BOTH of you. You see when eg her parents mock YOU. They are actually mocking their own daughter too, and that is a horrible thing for a parent to do to a child. I would seriously be laying down the law about that. Little K WILL start to pick up on those snipes now he is growing up. How will you feel if one day those horrible words come out of HIS mouth? Because saying horrible things is his normality at least as far as his grand parents are concerned. You BOTH need to think hard about that.

Both my wife and I would like them to "tone it down" as neither of us want our son saying rude things to others.

chevalier wrote: »

You have come so far, and you have a way to go both financially and emotionally. But you can do this. Has it ever occurred to either of you that hyenas hunt in packs to pull down lions? That's because the lion is too strong for one of them to pull down on their own.

You mentioned that you have kept money in the business as you are too afraid you would fritter it away. Now I know zilch about business (have been a PAYE slave all my working life lol), but if you did take a dividend out of the business, surely it could just go straight to one of the cards that isn't with a DCA yet? Then it wouldn't be burning a hole in anyone's pocket. Ask your accountant how to do this.

I REALLY think with the rate you are selling things, plus a business dividend you COULD be debt free by Christmas. Don't let fear of the past immobilise you. Apart from anything else THIS time you would discuss it with your OH so you wouldn't be able to hide the money coming in, nor it going out again.

Hope this gives you something to think about.

Good luck. I know we have been a bit hard, but we really are rooting for you in perhaps a way you have never had in your adult life before. We don't have an agenda - ie in keeping you in your place as a 'loser' and 'pathetic'. WE WANT YOU TO FLY!
chev

Thank you very much for this post. Also, the dividend is something that I can consider, not really sure on that at the moment as I see it more use in the business than paying my debts off.

AlexLK

EchoDelta wrote: »

My parents and in laws don't particularly get on either. All polite to faces but strained and then I get "s/he thinks this or that" afterwards which Does My Head In!

After a very stressful 1st birthday party with everyone together we've started splitting it all up a bit so for Small's 3rd birthday we had :-

-day out at zoo on actual birthday
-party at home for her friends (I think we had 5 or 6 which was plenty!)
-tea party with in laws,aunts and uncles (Mr Delta's sisters and brothers in law) and Small's cousins

I made 2 identical birthday cakes and everyone had a lovely time, no one felt left out and, importantly, I got to stay sane!

Hope that whatever YOU AND MRS K plan works out for you.

This may sound selfish but my wife and I couldn't go through the birthday party twice to be honest! :rotfl:

Her parents have promised they will be on their best behaviour and to be fair to them, they managed that the last time I saw them.

gallygirl wrote: »

Tell your parents the 'scummies' are invited. That should convince them your house is best :rotfl:.

Write out the invitations and hand them out, with YOUR address. What's the worst your parents can do - stay away .

Crikey, feeling sorry for Mrs K's parents now (not a phrase I ever thought I'd be writing :rotfl:) if they've been excluded from his birthdays before. Am beginning to see some reasons behind their hostility.

You'd think so! :rotfl: However, it only puts mother into overdrive.

Mrs. K.'s parents have other grandchildren.

LannieDuck wrote: »

I'm feeling sorry for Mrs K's parents too - they been excluded from their grandson's first two birthdays

What makes your parents think they can 'have everything organised' for your son's party? It's normally the parents that do it. I agree with the PP that said it would be odd to go to the party of a friend of my DD and find it's in their grandparents' fancy house rather than the parents' perfectly lovely baby-proofed house with all the kids' toys. Much more stressful for the visiting parents too.

Your parents can still meet all the nursery friends... at Little K's party in his own house.

Please Alex, do what you and Mrs K want (and what Little K will enjoy), not what your parents want.

To be honest, I think my parents are just excited - they don't have an awful lot going on in their everyday lives apart from seeing my son and dealing with houses. Recently, the latter has become much harder for them but they refuse to get an agent to sort it out (greedy :rotfl:). At the moment they can't go on holiday because of father's health concerns.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Not really, she wishes she'd gone for the other job now.

Is it too late? Has she permanently closed the door on it?

I've been in my company for 13 years (:eek:) having first turned them down for another company. Hated other job, phoned up other co and they said it took balls to admit error (and I think Mrs K has plenty of those ). Similar thing has just happened with DS :T.

AlexLK

gallygirl: I'll have a word with her.

AlexLK

Well, some good news and some not so good.

I've had a call from one of the credit cards demanding a higher payment than we first agreed, whilst I'm inclined to ignore this I have to admit it set me back for a few moments. More positive, Mrs. K. and I are having the birthday party here and after a lengthy conversation with her family I think they'll be on their best behaviour.

We do have no excuses to not go shopping for son's birthday presents now though as Mrs. K. got paid today.

Mara_uk7

Is this the card you offered F&F on ?

Great news on the birthday party ! Im proud of you for sorting that out ! Consider your head patted firmly

Have you set a budget for the birthday pressie ? And dont go trying to compete with your parents, they can afford it, You cant. Your explorer kit sounds like so much fun ..... I bet Little K will have hours of fun with you playing with that, but beware of bugs in jars in his bedroom ... they inevitable escape ! lol

EchoDelta

Great news about the party

7roland8

Great news of the party too - have you checked out the Amazon bargain thread for toys - some Playmobile stuff on there now.
Playmobil 5247 Native American Camp with Totem Pole down from £33 to £12 - keep checking daily - lots of great bargains.